Home › Forum Online Discussion › General › Setting Goals
- This topic has 6 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 18 years, 5 months ago by Jernej.
-
AuthorPosts
-
June 24, 2006 at 8:56 pm #14992.freeform.Participant
I’ve noticed that a number of you have been talking about setting goals, so I thought I’d share something that has really helped me…
but first we need to sort out the apparent disparity of the non-forcing and effortlessness ideal with the idea of making goals… which to some may seem as an act of forcing, grasping and just egoic.
The thing is that we make unconcious goals all the time… whether we think we do or not. Problems start appearing when we have competing goals inside of us… one part of us wants one thing, another part wants another… and we tend to use up our vital energy on these battles. There is one basic unconcious goal that most of us share and that’s to live and stay away from harm… complexities arise when we confuse our mental illusions with a real threat – so we end up running from something that isn’t there, or even trying to grasp something that does not exist. Most people identify the setting of concious goals with the latter – “I want a big house”, “I want many sexual relationships”, “I want chi-power”, “I want enlightenment” etc. The truth is we’re seeking something within these goals that we wouldn’t get when we get the car, sex, money, or when someone says ‘wow you’re really wise’ or ‘you really have a great energy’.
Effortlessness is when you don’t need to grasp to fill that empty hole, when you can be still and present and there is no need for anything else. I know – easy to say, not so easy to achieve… But when you make a goal that is at the top of your value hierarchy (I’ll explain this in a bit) then all those base desires, all those impulses, all that grasping cannot distract you from your purpose in life (your ‘destiny’ if you will) your ‘bliss’ as Joseph Campbell would say… and once you’re going in the right direction, following your bliss, everything else can fall into place…
I’m a practical guy… there’s no point in typing all this when in the end it’s just another “oh wouldn’t it be great if…” fantasies.
The first step is to realise that our base desires and fantasies aren’t ‘bad’, that grasping isn’t some enemy to be battled with… We have these desires and fantasies for a reason – there is always a positive intention behind them, and finding these positive intentions is a major part of finding your bliss.
So this is how I’ve been doing it: I take some time for myself, relax (actually I normally do this process after a round of primordial chi kung) and sit comfortably with a note pad and pen…
I ask myself “what do I want?” – I take the first thing that pops into my mind, no matter how silly or ilogical, and I write it down.
Lets say it’s something really shallow: “I want to win one million dollars on the lottery”… I use my imagination and think what it would be like if I’ve already won it… how does it affect my life? my friends, my family, my day-to-day actions etc. I have a really vivid experience of this… and then I ask myself:
“what does having this give me, that’s even more important?”… I relax and let the answer come… With the example above it could be something like “I will have time and freedom”…
So I carry on the same way – I imagine having that already, very vivdly… and again ask myself “what does having this give me that’s even more important?”… and I get another answer (usually with a feeling attached!) “an ability to work on my spirituality without any hindrance or worry”…
Again I imagine having it now… again I ask myself what’s important about it… and I get another answer – but by this time the answer is far bigger than the words themselves… it’s a feeling of centerdness, and congruity – I feel absolutely sure that that’s what i’m really after – the answer is usually something ambiguous like “happyness”, “peace”, “completion”, etc – but again it’s not the word it’s the feeling… because I know that when I get that feeling I’ve reached the top of the value hierarchy… I also picture an image that represents this ultimate goal – the image can be anything really… it can be an animal, a coloured splodge – anything (then you can draw it or just contemplate it every now and then).
I do this daily – always with a different desire (or a different aspect of a main desire)… and I usually get the same answer at the end, and I just close my eyes and picture the image that represents it.. let it spread through my body… and then forget about it… your body is intelligent enough to lead you there.
So the drill once again: 1) Ask “what do I want?” – write it down. 2) Imagine that you have that now. 3) Ask yourself – “what does having this give me that’s even more important?” write it down. 4) Whatever the answer is go back to step 2) and repeat… untill after several answers you reach a state of deep knowing, a congruent, centring feeling… with no parts batteling or in disagreement. 5) Picture something that represents this final answer. 6) Breathe and imagine the image moving throughout your body and filling it.
It doesn’t take that long, and it can literally change your life (especially if you feel like you’ve lost your focus, or will.)
P.S. There is a great CD by Jack Elias that leads you through this and an additional drill that will make getting to and following your bliss effortless.
June 25, 2006 at 5:11 am #14993Alexander AlexisParticipantVery nicely written piece, Freeform. And very helpful. Nice positive flow in the feeling of the procedure too. Thanks.
I would like to add another aspect to this business of creating what you want/setting goals.
There is, to one degree or another in each of our individual psyches, a polarity conflict situation between an “allower” and a “disallower.” While there is one part of us saying “Yes” to having something we want, there is often, simultaneously, a “NO” inside, a resistant force in the subconscious, that can keep us from having what we want. Transforming the resistance is essential. The exploration of this “NO” can take you deep into the workings of your pysche and the work must be done or nothing you want will materialize as long as there is that subconscious interference. The subconscious is always stronger than the conscious until what is “sub” becomes conscious. (What we’re not conscious of controls our lives.)
My recent experience of this has really put the moves on me. I have been in a long process of transforming the “NO” mechanism in myself that has caused the negation of certain very important things in my personal life despite doing things like what you have suggested. And the results of my process have helped me understand why this has been so for so many people I have worked as well.
There are two books that come to mind about this that I would recommend for anyone wanting to have their goals met. “Core Transformation” by Connie Rae Andreas and “Fear No Evil” by Eva Pierrakos.
The first is a teaching book about the process created by Andreas, an old NLP person, in which you take a personality aspect that troubles you in some way and through a series of questions and directions bring it into the experience of its “core state” – what it is really after, very similar to the process you explain in your post. Once an aspect of ourselves reaches its core state the unwanted behavior it was doing is no longer necessary to it and it drops it. She treats resistant parts the same way – they all have a good purpose, are all reaching for their core states. I have found it very healing to use this method.
The second book, Fear No Evil, is probably the most profoundly simple, clear and accurate exposition of how the psyche actually works that I have ever read. I just recently completed it and have been, actually, greatly relieved by how useful her explanations are about what we go through in the process of finding/freeing ourselves. The material is highly aligned with Daoist understandings, without being overly so, and deals very explicitly with how the undeveloped ego as a child makes conclusions to its detriment and why, and how to change that.
So I wrote this because I am sure there are times when we will sit down to focus on what we want and have to address our inner nay-sayer to get there.
Best, Alexander
June 25, 2006 at 10:02 am #14995.freeform.ParticipantThanks for the Eva Pierrakos recomendation!
Yes, I have read Core Transformations… and in fact the process there is functionally the same as the one I outlined earlier.
You’re completely right about the yes – no resistance, and that’s exactly what the process is designed to address. Because once you get down to the very basic-level intention for any resistant part, it’s always positive, and once you embrace that, it releases the negative behaviour that’s been attempting to reach this positive goal.
There is also another NLP-based process that addresses resistant parts in a similar (but slightly different way) and is also very powerfull (and alchemical!)… I’ll write it up if people practice and appreciate the process I’ve already outlined.
You seem like you’re a great teacher, Alexander… I wish you were in the UK!
June 25, 2006 at 5:28 pm #14997Alexander AlexisParticipant“Thanks for the Eva Pierrakos recomendation!”
Welcome! The story there, if you don’t already know, is that Eva had created The Pathworks a loooong time ago, like the late fifties, and then hooked up with Jon Pierrakos who had been a student of Wilhelm Reich’s. They continued to develope The Pathworks together, a dynamic psycho-spiritual approach to growth. Eva actually was a channel, before we used the word, and her lectures are the most sophisticated material on the subject I know of. She died in 1979. Pathworks has many outlets in America and other countries.
“… once you get down to the very basic-level intention for any resistant part, it’s always positive, and once you embrace that, it releases the negative behaviour that’s been attempting to reach this positive goal.”
That’s right, but you have to address the resistance as a separate entity in order to do that or you aren’t bringing enough consciousness to it to transform it. I wanted to make that a specific point because its too easy to want to slide over it in favor of focussing on what feels good.
One of the most important pieces in the book that she spends a lot of time with is the understanding that at some point in our early development we get confused and associate a negative behavior or conclusion with the pleasure current of the lifeforce. That is the point at which a problem develops for us and gets incredibly compounded by guilt and related things. So in working it all out of our systems we have to allow ourselves to feel the pleasure we get when we are self-destructive and don’t let ourselves have what we want. Unless we do that we cannot achieve true release from the negative behavior.
Also, as another aid in this process, I have found that the Kan and Li meditations are super for working with this stuff. When you really let go, nothing can withstand the effect of yuan chi.
“There is also another NLP-based process that addresses resistant parts in a similar (but slightly different way) and is also very powerfull (and alchemical!)… I’ll write it up if people practice and appreciate the process I’ve already outlined.”
I’m looking forward to hearing about it.
“You seem like you’re a great teacher, Alexander… I wish you were in the UK!”
Thanks! How wonderful to hear. At least we’re on the same planet.
Peace and love, Alexander
June 26, 2006 at 10:25 am #14999JernejParticipant1.
The nlp trainning originated as therapist processing client. The impression is it is a euphemism for hypnotheraphy.
Further discussion is based on experience with other two person processing skill.
2.
The (neo) gnostic trainning originated from (independent) scientology processing. The goal is two consciousness processing one unconsciousness.
In taoist terminology it is shen plane work that is brought down to chi plane, transformed and then released back to shen plane.
3.
how does this fit into fusion…
the first challange is: who is the processor in solo work.
in the five element work
example kan li
water should communicate with fire and vice versathis is not so easy
the coupling of polarities
so metal intermediates and holds the structure of communication
until the fire/water communication is openso it is metal that should be taught the method of processing
and the metal teaches it to fire/water4.
such processing is shen and chi kung
it is not ching kung as every thing that is is said to ‘be’ (as oppose to phase of change) because of charge(emotional resistance)
which is clear state vs reactive state
in which body is greates reactionso to go to ching chi shen kung
the physical should be first fully integrated with energetic level
to such extent, that shen polarities start kicking in,
and only then the gross alchemy of being can happenwhich is why taoist processing looks stupid compared to such sophistication
yet is the only one that incorporates ching from the beginning5.
you use command: imagine yourself
that is very mental
and then: image
again mental
true alchemy is not mental operation
it is being’s operation
that is causal body work
so appropriate command is: identify youself with6.
in goal setting, there are two lines of processing
or two viestas of contemplation
one is working with resistance goal structure: alexis emphasized this and it is true that when there is no resistance to something then there is that something only
other is working within the positive goal structure: which freeform presentedwhat is true for both is that the end state is the same
it is a release state
so that then each polarity (a polarized state) is directly connected to unpolarized state via such identity intent pathworking contemplation
hence effordless efford7.
to fully ground such conteplation
bring end state into now
so contempate, work it through
when end state
while fully knowing your (end state) go back to previous goal intent identity
check for any resistance
then again fully into the end state go to its previous goal intent identity
fully there and fully aware of its/the end state
check for any resistance
…
in such way come to now
where you are fully connected to polarity,
yet fully connected to its releasewhich is the magic of the effordless way
8.
http://www.spiritual-technology.com/eng/index1.php?_link=books/contents.php
the aspectics (the whole book on freeform style positive goal structure work)
and the return to oness (the manual on all his techniques)June 26, 2006 at 9:06 pm #15001.freeform.ParticipantJernej,
Thanks for the input! I always love desyphering your posts – I get a lot from them.
>>who is the processor in solo work?… metal intermediates and holds the structure of communication<<
That's very usefull, thanks – it makes some sense (for me) that metal is the guide and structure for individual change-work. Great insight.
As to no 4. I'm not 100% sure I understand. But one thing I'm taking from it is that you dont get jing-level transformation from NLP/Hypnotherapy-related change-work. (this actually leads me to another point… which I'll make later.) I think the way Hypnotherapy (and to some extent NLP) approaches this challenege is through bodily relaxation. It's kind of getting the stickiness of jing out of the way so that you make the change on the shen/chi level *first*.
It's kind of like dream-work, or 'astral travel' – where the body sleeps but the mind is awake – this does create a fragmentation – because yes the jing is not transformed straight away, but the message is there for it to transform in its own time (jing takes longer than chi or shen to change). So no, this method doesn't incorporate jing from the beginning (and I would say that *most* chi-kung doesn't either!)
So onto no 5. you say "identify youself with" is more appropriate than "imagine yourself"… this obviously relates to the above jing-level change ideas… I dont think there is any meaningfull difference between "identify with" and "imagine", because for most people the internal event is exactly the same… if anything "identify with" is a little more ambiguous… The fact is words wont make a direct effect on the jing level… whichever words you use… words only really affect the mental level, which in turn can affect the physical/jing level.
Imagine in front of you a shiny kitchen knife and a white plate… on the plate is a big, bright yellow lemon!… now imagine taking the knife, cutting into the skin of the lemon, as the juices start to run onto your fingers and the plate, the fresh, tangy smell fills your nostrils… you cut the lemon into wedges and pick one juicy wedge up… bring it closer to your mouth, take a moment and then bite right into it! tasting the tart, sour flavor of the lemon just makes your mouth water, doesn't it?
Imagining that is a completely mental excersise… but if you really did imagine it in your mind, more than likely you're now salivating! So the initial experience is on the mental level but it definately triggers change on the physical level. Would replacing the above example with 'identify yourself with the sour taste of a lemon' be much more effective?
No.7… In the method I proposed, the original goal is not brought back into focus… what *is* brought into focus is the deeper, core intent, or need, or conflict that brought this desire (original goal) into your conciousness… usually addressing the *original* goal will not bring deep, core fullfillment… but if you focus on the core to start with, and do it regularly, your physical, emotional and mental centres will bring you to the times and spaces that allow you to achieve this deep fullfillment. (in fact getting into better contact with this core goal will improve your communication with the subconcious, and you will naturally make better decisions in all parts of your life.)
PS The link at the end of the post! lol I came accross this guy's material some time ago, and about a week ago I had a dream about it, and its apparent similarity with the Taoist formulas… So thanks for reminding me again!! Apparently my subconcious just brought me to a time and place that highlights something I need to pay attention to! 🙂
June 27, 2006 at 11:18 am #15003JernejParticipant4.
there is deep ching level transformation
yet the center is upper or upper upper dan tien
if you are good it is middle dan tienhowever it is not ching level transformation centered in the lower dan tien
5.
identity vs image becomes relevant when space becomes the vast fog
that form is no longer essential
shifting spaces is posible through identification change
‘moving without moving’
while imaging would pull you out, ground you/shift you in form world and only then the travel in such dimension continues7.
presented description was of author’s deep process 3
yes the addressing the original goal will not necessarily bring deep fulfillment
yes addressing the deep goal will bring deep fulfillment
but addressing the deep goal only will bring results through uncounscious
and unconscious is very effective so if one’s original goal is not operating in full allignment with deep goal the change may be that of a tornado
so it is important to know/learn the deepest known goal of the original goal and not guess (the lates of course being the contentment, i.e. no goal, the is)
and to bring within oneself to full allignment the deep and the profane level of goal in the now-here8.
contemplating deep is always good
‘MAGNIFICATION OF SELF. No, this does not refer to over-stuffing or over-sizing ones ego, but to the fact that if ones sense of self is diminutive one will become wrapped up in and attract only small things and small awarenesses.’
http://web.archive.org/web/20041101002552/www.biomindsuperpowers.com/Pages/sop3status.html9.
slavinski is great
i learned myself the contemplation by studying his books and later workshops
and the flow
not that i do the processes but the essence is top level
note that he presents the bent of the ‘return to oness’ as being appropriate for current eon -
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.