[toeknee]

I used to work for/with Earl.

I wonder if he takes responsibility, or feels responsibility as Mahesh’s leading donor, for co-operatively decieving the souls he says mahesh decieved. In theory, if Earl and David are correct about the revelations posted in association with their names on the internet, then they had a big hand in the deception from start till now… and it continues.

I wouldn’t want that karma.

Luckily, no beings material or etheric can take the place of creator inside our own hearts.

Regardless of where we find it, all the pathways leading towards truth are useful and only steps until we refine our ability to choose.

That’s just a sample of spiritual philosphy that lines up in words, but means nothing until direct experience reveals itself on a soul level, and I don’t by any means suggest that I could tell if you found a true way or not… nor do I suggest I am “there yet” . I know Earl, and I smiled and said hello to David many times years ago. I bleive they both intend for the best for others… whther that comes about materialy in their walk with others, is for those folks to decipher

And as far as my own spiritual practise, it continues to guide me and long ago revealed itself to be ever unfolding beyond putting undue power into external teachers. Some of the best humans I have met were atheists in philosophy but showcased a care for others that is truly rare among so called religious leaders.

In my own life, I suggest to myself daily that transition and transformatioin are/is ever unfolding. And that it is my duty to avail myself to those promtings as they are expressed in this gift of material life.

And I may have recieved “blessing” walking through certain transitions, but I saw long ago that the blessing was beyond those points of relative reality-avenues of reception. Creator is expressed thorugh all things good and evil if you can see deeply enough, you can choose.

One interesting side note to the personal friend I called Earl Kaplan; though I helped him save one of his early businesses years ago, he refused to help me when I was being evicted from my office/attempt at starting my own business just a couple years back. It was before he “woke up” to his participation in what he now calls the deception of TM. I speak these words now from an objective pont of perspective. i am not lobbying in favor of his revleations in this posted area, nor am I lobying against them. I admire his truth search… he reflects now many of my own misgivings expressed to him when he was heartless then… interesting to see he made a transition since we last talked.

His heartless diatribe and refusal to listen to me were all explained back then, as a “directive from Lakshmi” , in the conversation I had with him I found myself grieving in spoken word, voiced to him , about the traits I had seen developing in the TM upper eschelon Earl admits to have participated in. I was practically crying as I spoke those words… I did not feel/think he heard one… but now I see he (maybe) did.

Also, in that conversation… he either intentionally or inadvertantly revealed that he had screwed me out of a few grand 17 years before.. his quoted payment for a deal we had was not what he had truly paid me back then… My only explanation for the discrepancy, after I thought his words through (after the ahrsh no from him) was that he re-framed our past dealing to keep his spiritual illussory identity ( 5 years ago) intact.

Now, he seems to have grown in ways I never expected to read-see.

Maybe he truly thought he paid me fairly, but my own reality these days suggest that I was deluded by his altruistic smile 17 years ago, just has he suggests he was deluded by Mahesh. Interesting. what I learned from all this is to suspect such smiles …in everyone. I guess I got trained by folks like Earl that I could never trust their handshakes… but then again, if you read his letter from a certain point of view, it’s basically what he admtted to furthering until now.

Luckily I jumped free of such ships long ago, and though I am still seeking internally, I have learned that people in the material world cannot be completely trusted … at least now I know it’s up to me to protect myself from the future Earl’s.

Unless, by some chance I mmet him for coffeee today and find out that he gets on his knees and grieves like I do, all the ways I helped the illusions persist, but never realized.

Perhaps these surrenders to the Creator’s will are a necessary soul maturation process thyat one can only accomplish when they get things wrong… no other way for redempion for any of us, unless we need it?

And our own mistakes help us break those barriers to truth of heart, soul and finally surrender.

anyway.

this letter will get me in deep doo dooo. If Earl is hateful.

But, I prefer to believe his is also refining towards potential… and it puts me in awe to understand the huge risk he took in being honest.

You’d have to be a part of the tm expereince to understand why I wrote this.

By the way, I was the guy who made a video in the cold winter that helped build the center Fairfiled has become. I watched folks take credit since then, I never got badges like Earl did or recognition… meanwhile, I ntoiced how certain individuals who used that video to promote tm , always had bigger and bigger screen tvs for watching NFL football. How could I have seen inside those places? I was delivering those appliances whle working for one of Earl’s companies…

I also remember, in those days, that I “heard” my inner guides expalin why a certian info-mercial creator in that small town was goin g to “go under”. I translated this insight to words to Earl that day, and back then he said “don’t say that, …those folks are buying appliances like crazy from us, these days… they are paying your wage… making me profit”, this is approximately how he said it to me, and I repleid, ” I am not judgiing the guy, I am only relating what I saw… he is going down inside 3 months”… and history shows that’s exactly what happened. That info-mercial guy in Fairfield went down super hard inside 3 months… out of nowhere it all collapsed. To tell you the turth, I was really sorry it happened… it’s not what I wanted for that small town… however, if it hadn’t happened, I daresay I would have noticed the warmth of heart that info-mercial guy eventually cultured inside himself as he was being humbled. Anyway. It hurt the business, and the deliveries of refirigerators, tvs, vcrs, slowed significantly. It’s not easy seeing things in process… and I learned a lot since then. Material unfoldment is not the only way to suggest soemthing was right or meant to be… Learn the history that wasn’t written and you find ou that many people fool themselves and each other for long periods of time, but creator will still work it out for the best for all…

I still consider Earl a friend. He probably considers much of what I wrote here to be insignificatn or might disagree… I don’t want to be sued so I want you to know that this is all just opinion posted for discussion and maybe it’s true or maybe I made it all up. It’s easy to get me to disavow just about anything these days. My life is basically just that of a homelss person in the western world, but a servant to mankind/womankind revelaed by action past limits beyond my own safety. And that, has worn me out. I am now in rejuvenation and waitinng for the next step to be revealed.

One call from Earl, if he is the heartless version, will get me to say anything is a lie that I wrote here. whtheer the records exist of not is another matter.

I documented my life and see that I was perfectly full of S**t most of the time, though I could quote truth so eloquently for so many eyars; it wasn’t until I had stood in the first position a few times, before I recognised that speaking truth is meaningless, unless it is backed by expereince.

We all have to be fooled a few times, make a few miscalculations… get burned when we don’t write a contract to protect ourselves… etc.

The whole question I ask myself after all this, is whether I am ready and able to say “no” if by saying “no” I lose monetary advancement. In other words, if I were to have just lived to make money, up till now, wouldn’t I have cultured an inability to say “no”, when money is offered… study andrew carnegie, stanford, other moguls and notice the despair of lives lived working common people to death for money. would you really want to be them?

I already know that the difference between a person who is able to really choose and one who says “yes” because 10 grand happens everytime they say “yes” is this; risk of truting the creator beyond material benefit… not an easy test for anyone… not easy for anyone.
Just witness nowadays how folks are so easily condemned for being poor. but being poor can be a step towards transition through the process of truly being ready to be humbled…

Understanding that no one can take from us what creator has set aside as OUR treasure… and each of us has a treasure waiting… and many more after that.

In theory.

…anyway. And I am proud of Earl telling his truth here, because above all I support people connecting to truth as they see it. I do not post this to paint a libelous picture of Earl since he did show a lot of kindness over the years, and still does to the whole world community…. and I try to forget the harshness of his (later developed) cold hearted nature which, by his recent transitions seems to have been revealed as only a phase… like everything truly should be…

The part I love about the controversies we all discuss in the spoken, written word is that we can watch each other “wake up”, or “get lost” or “refine” asnd eventually notice that we do exactly as the ancient proverb said, before enlightenment, chop wood carry water… after enlightenment, chop wood carry water…

…and I believe “waking up” as a whole planet is the phase we all must nurture.

Dialogue is vital…

In regards to the TM movement, or any movement or practice or cult or process or material ideas… In a a sense, they occupy us for awhile until we are ready to choose something that is beyond …so…it was definitely helpful for souls to be sidelined if they could be so easily confused, don’t you agree?

…and who’s fault is it?

Was it the Kaplan’s for boosting the process thgrough donations, mahesh’s, mine for making a video, …. who’s….. was it the people who intended for world peace, or the ones who gained power and held high office and kept the illusion mesmerizing?

Wasn’t creator working through all of it?

We have enough greedy people in the world… folks who espouse being power hungry, for the sole purpose of gaining power… and others who fool themselves with Altruism for a time… then see more clearly.

I suggest it can all work for the benefit of all… if we each participate.

Blame won’t do it… finding the enemy is only a temporary fix.

It’s really who we become and how we use that… what we impart to the process that tells who we intend to become… if it’s hurtful, we should be connected enough to be ready to change

We all , already know, that people “in charge” of the physical realms already obviously need more help… and if we lag in our choice we are participating with what they create.

Making a difference is a sweet process… and never requires war…. or so I say.

Meanwhile Creator sees fit to allow war, and we each watch it from a distance.

I suggest we can decipher who we are by what fuels our inner peace or steady war internal.

And you can fiind/figure that kind of answer out on your own by the friends you have.

I have only a few.

SO DO NOT BELIEVE A WORD I WROTE HERE.

Meanwhile, just consider all of the disasters that could have come to all of us if the tm sidhis were to work as well as we thought they would! Idiots designing a world so precious and subtle would be far worse than what we see today. I suggest that being fooled, if it was fooled we were, was perhaps for the best…. until now.

It took losing a few really precious things in my life for me to be busted down to a size I can finally live with. That’s a path to humility you can’t buy with money. It’s not for sale.

I can definitely guarantee that my own vow of service has refined itself enough by now for me to understand that there is truth to the saying “the road to ruin/hell is paved with good intention”.

Finally, I’ve realized that it was in my best interest for Earl to refuse me a few years ago… but now is another day. And just because I say that, doesn’t mean he was right.

Funny that truth and what’s right can be two different things in the 3d world.

Many of the things I said to him after he showcassed his heartless heart are now things he says in the letter I just read. Maybe I played a small part in nudging his conscience while he was still “buying his way on the staricase to heaven”. Or so it seems…

maybe, or maybe not.

The illusion of my loyalty towards others, and that I still feel towards the best part of him, and seeing their potential….. well , that illusion is rewarded over time when I witness those folks taking risks towards higher meaning, higher purpose…. and noticing that they are finally taking those risks which cost money/lose them money… Earl could have easily become just a greedy guy hiding inside the tm movement… but he vacated ratehr than that… you gotta admire the guts it must have taken for him to ask himself what he says were the right questions.

IN a sense, it really doesn’t matter if the illlsuions we travel in this projection of material reality- world matter or not…

What matters is how we find ourselves through them, in spite of all we aspir/thought we were….. were rewarded to be… breaking free does break us free… for a time until we have to get on our knees and do it again gropwing is always a little discomforting… change sometimes hurts…so I say… I hope I am wrong… but seems to be true.

…and that Gift is creator’s gift awaiting moment to moment…. ready for us to recieve it when we are rady to recieve it…

No soul, no being, no power, or energy ultimately can interupt IT.

And the space and time of the illusion that it was “ever not here”, well that is what we are growing free of and this gift of life will always be the road towards revelation, no matter what…

It is what it is because it is, and that’s all there is…

any way….

the biggest mistakes can bring us to the tears of surrender faster than some austerites ever could. We are all just one moment away from enlightened, or enlightened already but unable to express it.

…this is how we learn, this is how we grow.

It’s a great thing we can’t get out hands on TRULY big power unless we are capable of forgiveness in full.

… and I am still working on that one.

Earl, I forgive you for forgetting who I was/am/have the potential to become…

And I hope you forgive me for remembering where the gap was all those years.

-T. S.

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