a moment of death and all the bliss

The end of the year is a good time for business
so I had set a goal to work without taking time
off thru the entire season. No matter what happened
I would be open and quality would not be compromised.
I had many challenging days (waiting for product to
be unloaded from the airlines at all hours,losing
power,no water, all the crazy stuff that just gets
worse at this time). There was no time for laundry
or housework, just sleep, prep and work and a little
chi kung grounding.

Then came the last day, I released all of the
power and energy that had been needed to continue.
My pelvis and legs just opened out.

I stood in wonder at it all,
this warmth in my belly just grew and grew from
deep inside out thru all my cells, bones, hair and into
my aura, the room, the universe. I was very strongly me
yet I was also a part of everything.

The feeling was just
utter bliss……

I had an instinctual feeling that
this is what death will be like.

If you make a conscious
choice about the road you will take and make use of all of
your emotions (shen). I was especially grateful to the
negatives (anger helped me make things happen, worry and
fear helped me prepare for accidents, etc…)This was the
first time that I really recognized that the negatives are
not something that I want to let go of, they are so
important to me now. Previously I was unable to make the
distinction between the excess and the real emotion (?).

If you choose your path and live it face on then when you
meet death you can let go and that wonderful bliss blooms,
you have created yourself; you are immortal.

Thanks for listening, Adel