April 14, 2005 at 3:10 pm #4388
Why hurt yourself?
Stop the affliction!April 14, 2005 at 5:03 pm #4389
He took his ball and went to play by himself,
and nobody cared.
And that he couldn’t stand more than anything.
So he’s come back to whine.April 14, 2005 at 8:32 pm #4391
Now he is dissing me all over Taobum. I guess when someone critisizes poor Plato his fragile ego turns to mush and he has to assume 10,000 different identities to defend himself instead of sticking up for himself like a man.
Winn is right about him and he is one of the best cases I have known on the truth of shen theory. A person who has some really admirable qualities and some really crappy ones, like all of us, and just hasent learned to integrate it yet.
I am just glad I stopped lsitening to anything he says years ago…April 14, 2005 at 8:37 pm #4393
ahh you missed it!April 14, 2005 at 10:57 pm #4395
He is busy with other projects, and as fas as I know, he is talking to Michael through email.April 15, 2005 at 2:25 pm #4397
While spoil the fun!April 15, 2005 at 2:30 pm #4399
The problem comes because of false distinctions between masters and students. Plato is a master, but he is also a student, and the things he is currently studying are terribly difficult on a person.April 16, 2005 at 3:52 am #4401
YA CAMEL FELLATOR, DONT BOTHER WITH DA TAO BUM BROTTHER-HOOD YA TAMPON SLURPER, OR YER ANNAL HAIR WILL IGNITTE WITH A FLASH YA MOBY-DICK RIDER, YA BETTRAYER, YA TREASSONOUS DRIP O SATTAN SYPPHILLITIC ORGAN, YA ABOMMINNATION O DA CAVVERNOUS CUNT O LILLITH, YA ABYSM O FECES O BEL-ZAAB-BUBB, YA TOWER O INFERNAL SMEGMA, YA BLOODY MENSTRUUM O DA ARCH HARLOT FROM HELL, YA EJACCULLATION O DA DEVIL SEED, WHY DO YA INFLICT YERSELF UPPON US O ARCH-DEVIL FROM DA PIT???
NOW!!!!!!!!!!!April 16, 2005 at 9:04 am #4403
Is that the brotherhood of Morons?April 16, 2005 at 11:55 am #4405
Outsiders often mistake master for expert. An expert has a thorough knowledge of the subject. A master has the knowledge and can perform the subject w/ an open poetry. The master has incorporated the subject into most everything he does in life.
I don’t know if Plato is the master of anything. Least of all himself, judging by his juvenile posts.
I’d like the think a good master is a perpetual student.April 16, 2005 at 4:45 pm #4407
Most of his qualifying work was destroyed in the board crash. 😛 Plus, he’s moved onto more difficult stuff, I suspect. Advanced practices deconstruct a person. Oftentimes deconstruction borders on self-destruction. The expert martial artist seems like a beginner after his 300th consecutive opponent. But he has gone farther than most could ever dream. He is a master of defeating 1 through 250 men; but all people see is his veneer cracking with the 300th one. The five colors blind their eyes. This is due to false distinctions between student and master.April 16, 2005 at 9:13 pm #4409
Your right about Plato.
Peace out!!April 16, 2005 at 9:56 pm #4411
Could you elaborate on how being “deconstructed” serves a spiritual purpose, what kind of “difficult stuff” he’s moved onto, and how your martial arts analogy relates to spiritual experience? Every one is human, but vague generalized statements can mean anything you want them to unless they are properly explained.
Another question, does “deconstruction” mean the same thing as being fragmented? Also, what exactly is being deconstructed, is it the collective personalities of the vital organ shen (ego), the “personality” in a western psychological sense, or the buddhist sense of the physical “self”?
thanks.April 17, 2005 at 3:47 pm #4413
I don’t think he’s quite defeated ‘250 men’. Looks like negativity got him on his 12th. He’s always been a very negative person. Quick to alert us to the dangers of woman, marriage, blacks and immigrants. He’s found Bodri who tends to be very negative towards other ways of cultivation.
What do you think he’s deconstructing? and does it really allow one to act like asshole? I live in a world of infinite colors and like it. Maybe Plato’s world is clearer but I’d guess its populated w/ black and grays.
MichaelJuly 1, 2005 at 3:11 am #4415The Harassment Awareness Certification Course
We here at Something Awful Dot Com Incorporated take the issue of mutual respect and appropriate behavior in the work environment very seriously. You are required by FNS standards to complete this certification by July 14th in order to comply with human resources directives. This website promotes equal opportunity in a harassment-free environment. Before taking this test, make sure you go over the source material so you will know how to conduct yourself and what to do if you find yourself a victim of harassment. Failure to comply with this policy will result in disciplinary action, preferably by a spanking to the buttocks. You would like that wouldn’t you, you dirty, dirty whore. Good luck.
#1: Ronald is chatting it up with a new female employee named Ping Pan Pot in the break room. Ronald notices that she is Asian so he does an impression of the atomic bomb blast in Nagasaki by ramming her with his large stomach. Ping is not pleased. What did Ronald do wrong here?
A) Didn’t remember to replace the coffee filter in the machine.
B) Was rude and inconsiderate of Ping Pan Pot’s nationality.
C) Failed to make a bomb noise when recreating the atomic blast.
D) All of the above.
The answer is B. Ronald did not act in a manner that is proper in a work environment. All atomic blast recreations done with large bellies should only be done to blacks or Indians, who have never felt the deep scars of an atomic blast on their land, and as such won’t be offended.
#2: In the midst of Ronald thrusting his gut into Ping, she holds her hand up in defense, yet in the process touches Ronald’s nipple. Ronald is confused and upset over this overt sexual gesture. What should he do?
A) Go directly to his HR supervisor and report the incident.
B) Go into Ping’s office and touch her nipple, to show her how it feels.
C) Write an email to his state representative and complain about road construction.
D) Cry in the shower.
The answer is A. This kind of behavior is unacceptable, even during those steamy 3:00 meetings. The HR supervisor will have a one-on-one talk with Ping and, depending on the amount of money she has on her person, will be reprimanded with a verbal notice or shipped back to the old country in a rice boat.
#3: Back in the break room, Ronald introduces Ping Pan Pot to Larry, who works in finance. Larry asks Ping if she wants to go out to the parking lot to see his new hotrod automobile. Ping refuses, saying “So solly, Charlie.” Larry, angered at being turned down and called “Charlie”, spikes her coffee with his semen. Ronald laughs when she takes a sip and spits it out in disgust. What is wrong with this scene?
A) Employees should not be in the parking lot during business hours.
B) Larry forgot to put sugar or sweetener in the semen laden coffee.
C) Ronald’s top button is undone, and his chest is clearly visible.
D) All of the above.
The answer is D. What a bunch of goofballs.
#4: Ronald likes to browse joke websites full of crude riddles and hardcore pornography. He calls Larry into his cubicle to show him a picture of a man bending over and stretching his anus to unbelievable proportions. “Oh my god what is that man doing to his anus?” cries Larry. Larry knows that they shouldn’t be looking at such pictures at work, but how can he tell this to Ronald?
A) Cut the power cord to Ronald’s computer so it won’t work.
B) Tell Ronald that images like that are not appropriate for the workplace and that they should quit so they can stay at home and look at porn.
C) Report Ronald to your HR department and then hide and watch as they come into his cubicle and beat him with billy clubs.
D) Watch the sky for omens.
The answer is C. Always rat out your co-workers to the HR department. There is nothing to be ashamed of when you are concerned with your own job, and need to sell out others to gain the trust of your superiors — even if you are a sniveling little wretch who has no friends and would stab your own mother in the back for a promotion. There is no “us” in the word “team”.
#5 Ronald and Larry sit in the employee lounge area discussing important business implementation paradigms so they can touch base and stay on the same page. Then Ronald starts telling a story about how he became intoxicated in Mexico and milked a goat for 100 pesos on a dare. Ping Pan Pot is walking by and is offended by the story. Then Ronald and Larry knock her down and rape her while shouting racial slurs. What should’ve been done differently?
A) Ping shouldn’t have worn such a skanky business suit that tempted the men into such an embarrassing situation.
B) Ronald should’ve known better than to talk about milking goats around the 3rd world melting pot that is the technical department.
C) Larry forgot to wear a condom.
D) All of the above.
The answer is D. In this case, all three of these employees would face harsh disciplinary action or possible termination.
#6 Ronald tends to fall asleep at his desk with his eyes open and his mouth agape. Flies will often land in his mouth to lay their larvae, causing a cascade of maggots to fall out whenever he talks or smiles. This disturbs and frightens his co-workers, who report the strange behavior to their HR department. What would you do if you were the HR representative?
A) Put flypaper inside Ronald’s mouth.
B) Put flypaper inside Ronald’s mouth.
C) Put flypaper inside Ronald’s mouth.
D) None of the above.
The answer is D, none of the above. Given the situation, the proper course of action for the HR representative in this case would be to put flypaper inside Ronald’s mouth.
#7 Ronald has been put in charge of a task group and has to choose his team members. He picks his friend Larry because he is a true Aryan like himself, but he has trouble finding other members. He didn’t want Gerald, who was black, because he was afraid all the paper and pens would be stolen. He didn’t pick Jose, a Mexican, because he didn’t want any lazy people on the team. He didn’t even want Peter, a Canadian, because he talked like “a big homo”. What was the right way to pick the team members?
A) Aryan features.
C) Based solely on skill, dedication, and the best person for the job.
D) Hire a Jew.
The answer is D, you should hire a Jew.
#8 Larry, eager for a promotion and that corner office, plans to seduce his boss. They go out to a cubs game, split a hog dog, and end up making out in the bleachers. Larry’s boss gets in trouble with his wife when a camera zooms in on them and the act is broadcast on national television. Larry gets fired the next day, and moves to the slums of LA to become a fluffer on a porn set. Was Larry’s termination lawful?
C) Only if Larry’s boss bought the beer at the game. If they split it than its a push.
The answer is A. This country was founded on people whoring themselves out for money and power. What Larry did was in no way wrong and in case he was unlawfully fired for making out with his boss and giving him a blowjob in the parking lot. That’s how Ben Franklin invented the light bulb.
#9 Ping Pan Pot has had it with the sexual harassment and racial comments made by her fellow worker, Ronald. She meets with her HR representative, Dan, who sits her down to talk about the problem. Dan explains that Ronald is a good worker and they can’t afford to fire him, so instead they will construct a rocket and shoot Ping Pan Pot to the moon where she can cook, clean, and raise babies in a low gravity environment. Dan then presses an oversized red button, sending Ping down an oiled chute leading to the corporate crocodile pit, where all the men gather around to hoot and holler at the highly erotic spectacle of wet female temps struggling with crocodiles. Dan watches the scene from his tower, laughing and smoking a cigar. Did Dan do the correct thing as an HR representative?
A) No, there is no smoking allowed in the building, aside from the designated smoking areas.
B) Yes, Ping Pan Pot was batting her eyelashes at Dan, and years of experience told him that this was a sign of a flirt. She could just be blinking, but Dan didn’t want to take any chances.
C) All of the above.
D) One of the above.
The answer is D. If you chose one of these answers then you are correct.
#10 Ronald’s dark past has finally caught up to him. His time was running out in the department. He was personally responsible for one million dollars in harassment settlements in the last quarter alone, and it all came crashing down on his head after he made a pass at the boss’s dog. They could no longer ignore the UN-enacted human rights sanctions on their company due to Ronald’s actions, and they had to let him go. What could’ve Ronald done differently?
A) Wear a new disguise every week so victims couldn’t point him out in a picture of an employee outing.
B) Respect all his fellow co-workers and treat them as equals.
C) Send Dan a box of cigars for all the trouble.
D) Eat a whole package of Nutter Butters and throw up in the copy room.
The answer is B. You should ALWAYS treat your co-workers as equals and with the utmost respect. Unless of course they are one of the lesser mongrel races that are only good for breeding in the hay like dogs. Like the Swedes.
Congratulations! If you got at least 3 of the 10 questions correct, you are now certified for harassment awareness. Print up this certificate and turn it in for a free small ice cream cone at your local Baskin Robbins. Good job.
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