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hi everyone. I am chewing over an issue that I’d be glad of your thoughts on: I have an aversion toward a person, which is a moral repugnance at the way this person operates. I am wondering where this dwells within me, is it a shen response, for example. It isnt liver anger or heart hatred, it’s actually a repugnance. Sometimes I feel hurt at the harshness of this person modus operandi and the lack of humanity makes my heart feel sore about humanity. I’m wondering abut your thoughts on it and any creative approaches to finding equanimity around a person that one simply would like to avoid. Much as I look, I dont see a mirror here .. ie it isnt shadow projection. It is an aversion to power based relating, essentially. My ideal would be to accept it without any emotional reactivity, as just one more human manifestation. Anyone resonate? Michael, I ‘d love to hear from you if you read this.
Thanks to all.It’s basically a judgement-based issue, and as such belongs
to the domain of the heart shen . . . and actually, I think
you picked up on that yourself by your comment that it was
making “your heart sore”.But rather than discuss semantics, let’s talk practical.
When dealing with this person, as an overall framework
for any successful interaction, maintain strong boundaries
so that you don’t engage in any drama they want to draw you into.Then to tackle the issue at hand . . .
while keeping an outside, separate view,
think of the following in your mind:
Just like me, this person wants to feel loved.
Just like me, this person wants to experience happiness.
This person is probably acting and behaving this way, because
deep down they are extremely unhappy and feel unloved.
As such, I should feel sympathy for this person.
And the fact that this person evokes such a strong response
within me, demonstrates how lucky I am to have this person around,
as they are giving me ample opportunity to practice patience,
compassion, and loving-kindness when I don’t feel such things
naturally in this situation. This person is giving me the
opportunity for growth, that I am otherwise not presented with.
For all these reasons, I’m actually grateful this person exists
and they have my deepest sympathy.
Remember, no one can force you to feel a certain way.
We are the ones that make that choice.Best,
Steven
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