December 9, 2007 at 2:46 am #26577
Well, I *was* planning on going down to the QF3&4 workshop
in Asheville this weekend.
It’s an 11 hour drive. I left early with plenty of time.
Then 6 hours into the trip, smoke starts pouring out of the
hood of my car. The car had overheated for some reason.
I checked the coolant reservoir, and it was empty (it wasn’t
before). I filled it, and drove to a gas station to buy
some coolant. In the five or so miles to the gas station,
the recently filled tank again became empty. I didn’t see
a leak, but something was definitely wrong. So I had to
turn around and go home . . . with 6 hours of slow driving and
the heater miserably on full blast so the car wouldn’t
break down again.
Greeh . . . and I was so looking forward to the workshop too.
I’m starting to notice a pattern of bad luck whenever I
leave to go to a workshop for personal cultivation.
I’m not sure what the universe is trying to tell me,
or whether there are potentially malevolent forces at
work here . . .
StevenDecember 9, 2007 at 6:11 am #26578
I was on my way to warn you before the trip, but didn’t want to make you focus ewen more on bad luck!
It seems to be someting going on. What could this mean?
To take it easy with your practise?
Sincerely S DDecember 9, 2007 at 2:50 pm #26580
>>I was on my way to warn you before the trip,
>>but didn’t want to make you focus ewen more on bad luck!
Really?! Why? Did you get some bad feeling, or some
insight or something? Do tell.
>>It seems to be someting going on. What could this mean?
>>To take it easy with your practise?
Yeah, I’m not sure what this means.
I can’t imagine it would mean to slow down with practice,
since if anything the past couple weeks my practice has
been reduced to almost nil due to the semester coming to
an end, and the associated busy-ness that comes with that.
Aside from trying to stay present in life, I haven’t
been able to spend any actual time practicing this past week
except for an hour of Tao Yin one day last weekend and
occasionally doing the Six Healing Sounds in the car
or in a few other spontaneous moments.
So, if anything, I need to be practicing more–not less.
This is why the situation is confusing to me, and makes
me wonder about malevolent forces . . .
In the description of the Deep Healing Qigong form, I remember
it mentioning something about breaking such forces, so maybe
I should get back to it. Tonight at midnight, I’ll try to supercharge
it with the new moon solstice.
However, in general, the underlying reason is currently baffling.
StevenDecember 9, 2007 at 6:57 pm #26582
It was just a feeling that this will continue in the same manner as you mentioned before at workshops.
Perhaps you not shall take new courses but practise what you have learned so far. I don’t know realy it’s just a sugestion.
I think it might be a good idea to go back to the deep healing Qigong form, and find out if you can do anything there.
Also try to find just some moment for practise each day. It doesn’t have to be more than 5 minutes. Takes less time than your writing here :), thing about it.
Sincerely S DDecember 9, 2007 at 8:05 pm #26584
That’s true to some degree, but the workshops that I’ve taken
haven’t been new. I’ve already had the material before.
I was mainly taking them to get away from school for awhile,
and because I mostly likely won’t be able to go to a retreat
this summer (due to a Foreign Language class I have to take
It’s really only been the last week or so that my practice
has fallen off from 2-3 times per week to once since last
weekend. This was in part due to feeling like I needed to
spend time on school, being the end of the semester, and
also figuring I’d get this whole weekend to practice
(before the car situation)).
However, thanks for the heads up.
I’ve been letting school distract me due to fears about
this upcoming March, and I shouldn’t be letting it
do so. The irony is that the workshop that I missed is
about grounding practices, which I probably need more
I’ve practiced some already today, and will be doing
more so around midnight to get the full juice of the
new moon solstice.
StevenDecember 10, 2007 at 3:05 am #26586
Can you tell me more about the connection about grounding and the moon. I’m not so aware of this.
Sounds like you have quite a good idea of how to deal with your practises. But perhaps only on a rational level. The deeper issues involved seems to be a mystery. So even to me and it makes the situaion you are in interesting!
Sincerely S DDecember 10, 2007 at 3:57 am #26588
>>Can you tell me more about the connection
>>about grounding and the moon.
>>I’m not so aware of this.
You may have misunderstood me a little bit. Not
your fault though, I think I wasn’t clear.
I was speaking about practicing in general, when I
was referencing the Winter Solstice new moon. Here
the idea is that whatever you practice during this
time period gets amplified due to cosmological forces
of the Winter Solstice new moon. I don’t know enough
about the higher-level formulas to know why specifically,
but I have noticed personally just empirically that
effects come stronger and easier during major
cosmological phenomena such as solstices etc.
I’m sure that there is a connection between grounding
and the moon though. Grounding is all about connecting
with the energy of the earth, and the earth and moon
interact with each other all the time (tides for instance).
It would seem that during a full moon or new moon, the
interaction is more potent due to the lining up of the
earth, sun, and moon. Thus the energy of interaction
between the earth and moon would be greater. Hence it
seems reasonable that the earth’s energy would be
more intense during those times, and thus easier to ground.
>>Sounds like you have quite a good idea of how to deal
>>with your practises. But perhaps only on a rational level.
>>The deeper issues involved seems to be a mystery.
>>So even to me and it makes the situaion you are in interesting!
Yeah, oftentimes I can’t figure out the why either.
Although, if you read my recent journal entry, in this case,
it may not matter (I hope). . .
StevenDecember 10, 2007 at 7:21 am #26590
Steve, I looked it up in one of the books I have.
I took the chapter: ‘During going or driving somewhere, going for your goal, you encounter many obstacles’
When you deviate too far from your Living Self, when you don’t listen to the language of Life you will encounter many obstacles on your path, helping you to listen to your inner core, and to help you listen to the life in you.
You live in the realms of dead. You do stick your nose outside, but your hand is moist, taking and dead. You are bitter, hard about life and you want all out of it. You switch on your instincts for 100% and still it is not working for you (of course not because this is dead end, as long your life is not focused on your joyful existance you will not be happy and you will attrack situations that make you disappointing). You look at life with a dead mask: somewhat bitter, cold and grim. You keep yourself stif, dry and cold towards yourself. Stubborn you refuse to let living feelings flow through you. Because you want to serve the outer world, to act in the outer world, or because you think it has to be that way… Severe and cold, away from your inner heart. That is why you go on and on, despite the obstacles who tell you to take another direction: the direction of life and gratitude for your existance, a direction which is no longer hard and stiff structural. Because this way you shake hands with death.
your life was focused on maintaining, getting and structure giving, not on joyful enjoying, gratitude and happiness. You carry much pain but you don’t look at the real reason for this pain, only you hurt yourself, all the outer circumstances are the result. You torture yourself with disappointment and cold dry, sad or bitter thoughts. You keep your body stiff, despite the fact that every cell of you is asking for a free and open existance. Stop torturing yourself with your head full of squeezing thoughts, anger and longings: it is way to heavy.
let the child in you out, the wise child, he is no longer locked out of his own heart, he who feels, intuitively knows, who he listenes to his heart. Let happiness, intuition and spontaneous juices of life flow through you. Don’t stop life in you, don’t restrict it. Being content and grateful life will bring you what you need; IF you stop WANTING, GETTING and ACHIEVING, you are warned that you force too much and you have to let go your stiff attitude. Be gentle and soft with yourself, be loving, let you be touched by your deep heart. Feelings and emotions are allowed to run free… in service of life. Don’t cramp yourself, run free. Give the flow of life free acces. Don’t make yourself hard and rigid, don’t keep be so severe and structural cold. Don’t grasp for further, even more further… but become ALIVE. Learn to let go and give yourself to the spontaneous, playful, intuitive, flexible child in yourself.
The reason why you attrack such a difficulties is because it helps you to look and listen to your heart.
WendyDecember 10, 2007 at 5:51 pm #26592December 11, 2007 at 4:27 am #26594
Your posts are intriguing as always!
I’m going to have to dwell on this a bit, and
look internally and see how it applies in my situation.
Actually, as far as the direction my life goes, I
do actually like it. I just wish sometimes that I
didn’t have to do so *much* of “the main direction” as the universe
seems to want me to do. In part, I think that it’s
because I’m relatively good and productive at what
I do, and it wants me to continue to move in that
direction. Also, that direction is a more comfortable
one. Part of it I think is that the universe is testing
me to see how serious I am in branching in new, possibly
unfamiliar ways–in that it wants to make sure of this
before it wastes input into something that I don’t
If anything, these situations provide an opportunity for
Thanks again for your insightful post,
StevenDecember 12, 2007 at 12:47 am #26596
I want to thank you Wendy for this inspiring post. Although it was directed to another, the words have helped me to unlock a situation that I have been struggling with for the last three years. Also I have found the courage to try a new direction in life without worrying about how things will turn out.
Here’s to stepping into the unknown!
HortonDecember 12, 2007 at 1:27 am #26598
I also liked your post! Recognising much in it as part of my burned out issues still going on.
Sincerely S DDecember 12, 2007 at 8:52 am #26600
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