January 10, 2012 at 4:31 pm #38354
Been doing fusion 1 for the past few
months working with the virtues of
Last night I watched a movie
that stirred up feeling of fear. This
morning, as I laid in bed, this base fear
grew inside me. I wanted to cry but
crying wouldn’t help. I kept it in and
let it grow until it filled my entire
The gross fear changed into individual
memories from when I was young. I
put them into my dan tien. From there I
felt a gush of anger from my liver
pour into the dan tien. The anger
had been born from the fear. In succession
my heart poured out it’s hate of living
in fear, my spleen and lungs followed.
My kidneys felt shriveled and dry. All of
these negatives just kept flowing down
into my center until they mixed into a
I didn’t know what to do then. I remembered
the cd saying to put only one negative in
at a time but I couldn’t control my shen
to do just one. They all felt connected
as a team with the fear and their individual
reactions to it where interconnected. I did
the wudang orbit which released a little tension
in my neck, throat, and solar plexus. At the end
I just returned the black pearl to my center.
Maybe just having it there is bringing
the shadows out.
I tried to feel some of the virtues but
each shen was very against it. It felt as
if I were imposing what I thought they
should feel upon them. AHHHHHHHH I feel
confused but at the same time I think I
need to trust where this will lead us.
More deep earth pulsing seems to be what
Thanks for listening
AdelJanuary 10, 2012 at 7:04 pm #38355
I think that you are right on the money when you end your post with “I
need to trust where this will lead us. More deep earth pulsing seems to be what is needed.”
More earth, more grounding, allows our system the gentle connectedness to do what is needed to allow it to shift into a new way of being. We often just need to have the will to sit with these bad feelings, not doing anything in reaction to them, but allowing our system to witness and adjust so that it no longer creates that bad feeling.
I enjoyed your post about the red dragon. The sense you created of being in the presence of a dragon is similar to mine.
ChrisJanuary 10, 2012 at 7:23 pm #38357
It’s funny, I had been doing fusion
without getting anywhere for a few
months now so I bought the healing love
cds thinking it might give me a little
boost. I was expecting something juicy
when the first cd started with over an
hour of standing earth postures. I thought
oh crap, ok I’ll do it. After 4 days of
just doing the first cd I had my first
experience of what gravity can mean.
Michael was talking about releasing into
the earth and he mentioned that gravity
was the earth saying I love you, come to
me. Like a suckling babe, I snuggled
down into gravity and I felt my insides
open up so wide, infinity. I was able
to snuggle down so far that tears filled
my eyes. I had never known that gravity
could feel so good, it was bliss to have
Anyway, I think that this earth experience
has opened me to the fear I had this
morning. The grounding practices have been
hard for me but it seems I’m getting somewhere
I haven’t had a red dragon show up lately,
it’s been the white one who looks deeply
into my eyes and asks that I be honest.
Thanks, AdelJanuary 19, 2012 at 9:55 pm #38359
Thanks for sharing your practice experiences . . .
Hang in there . . . fusion can be hard to connect
to at first, but as you are finding: it will come!
Key to making it work is to get really grounded . . .
Even though grounding practices are not “the most fun”,
they are the most important ingredient I find for
creating a stable anchor to allow the shifting to take
place . . . without them, any changes tend to be
more “in the moment” and don’t integrate in and create
real changes in your everyday life.
Earth is the glue for all 5 elements . . .
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