July 17, 2007 at 1:25 pm #22954
I am very interested in learning how to conserve my male sexual energy,
but I have been unable to learn how for several years now. I have read
“Cultivating Male Sexual Energy” by Mantak Chia and various other related
books. I have been following the book’s instructions as best as I can, but
have still been unable to learn how to engage in sexual activity without
Could anybody please help me? I’m curious if anyone could recommend any
books or DVD’s to me on this site related to this specific topic. I have
seen many upon many DVD’s related to this topic, but I have no idea which
one to buy or which one will help me with this specific issu.
Many of these dvd’s seem like they explain how to “build” sexual energy
and vitality, but I don’t understand what is the point of doing that when
I will just lose it the next time I engage in sexual activity. Could anyone
help me learn how to conserve my Jing or teach me what to buy or where to
look in order to learn this?
I sincerely apologize if I have posted this in the wrong area of the forum.
Please excuse my rudeness if I have.
Thank you to anyone for any reply or help.July 18, 2007 at 11:20 am #22955
I’ll give you my answer and you can take it from me, everyone will disagree! 🙂
Here’s my take: you don’t lose jing from ejaculating really. You do lose it from guilt over ejaculating and Michael I think has already pointed this out elsewhere. However ejaculatory sex (please I must repeat this is MY experience only!) does not give the full possible range of emotions and healing etc. for a man. It is like a quick way out from dealing with emotional sexual expression in my own life. I *personally* believe people ‘lose jing by ejaculating’ because they are using sex to reconfirm their lack of self-worth as men. This is a rather different issue from the idea that you lose it because of squirting out semen. It is an emotional and self issue in other words rather than a kind of mechanical one.
I really like the techniques taught at http://www.multiples.com 🙂 I have always had an affinity with non-ejaculatory and even completely non-physical sex, and I found the methodology there really enhanced what I tend to do naturally. Personally I stay very strongly away from the old Mantak books. I don’t agree with their principles or with their practice, which involved becoming very physically aroused and then blocking ejaculation. I don’t like the idea and I never practiced it, never will.
If you get to the point where you can choose whether or not to ejaculate, have multiple orgasms without physical stimulation, and be able to get off on the subtlest of erotic arousals and sensations as opposed to the incredibly unsubtle ones currently being provided everywhere in our culture 🙂 I believe you will not ‘lose jing’. I think ‘jing loss’ is by far more a case of being attached to outworn negative things in the energy body which do not allow love to be expressed throughout the system but relegate it to the physical genital area only. The confirmation of this for me came as I learned to have sex without physical contact and was in the process forced to confront alot of emotional stuff from the past. It is these that ’cause jing loss’, to me; they block the self from being present.
That is why guilt over ejaculating will lose you more jing than ejaculating without any concept of ‘needing to hoard sperm’ floating around in your mind, in my opinion. The negative thought becomes associated with the pleasure but fights it, and naturally saps off the positive love vibe.
So that’s what I think! Now I will brace myself for the extent to which everyone disagrees with me… I have to say in this area I can’t see how there would be a ‘right way’ though.
Best of luck on your own personal journey with this, JasonJuly 18, 2007 at 2:32 pm #22957
Jason is correct when he says you lose more through guilt, fear and worry than the act itself, and that each one of us has to find his own way. Michael Winn, himself, in one of the first classes I took with him, stated unqualifiedly that “It’s not about sperm”. It’s about the energy loss, and if you recirculate properly for awhile, even with a physical orgasm you will have more energy after than before- but not if you are in fear when you do it. Fear indicates that the heart and the kidneys are not working in tandem and if your heart is not connected to your sex act you WILL lose energy. You will be unable to connect the heart if you are judging yourself for having sex…Think about it. It’s really all about love.
There are many systems out there and it is wise to remember that we are preoccupied (usually) with finding the right one. Whatever you learn at any level you have to make your own. There is no other way. THE Way is the way you find which is Your Own Way. So I would say, especially considering the feeling I get from your writing, to begin to trust yourself to know what to do and to study what you are drawn to even if you THINK you might be wrong. You have to start somewhere and work from there. You will make “mistakes.” You will learn. You will find your own way. You have to see what works and what doesn’t work for you through experience in order to be able to correct things as you go along. Instead of crying about your dilemma, start laughing at it and enjoy yourself. (Smile)
Work mostly on balancing the many areas that this path encompasses. The sexual techniques are not central, imo, but secondary to the meditation and movement practices which teach you how to communicate with the lifeforce as it wants to move through you. You will learn what to do with your sexual energy as you develop these practices. I strongly urge you to explore your fears and your pain because that is where the real work is. Teach yourself to challenge the parts of you that want to scare you and the parts that make you want to control things. That’s just resistance. You will build true will by doing so.
It is likely that the center of this issue for you is sexual guilt which means accepting yourself at the most basic body level and transmuting the shame you will find there. And that is where the greatest rewards are because alchemy, which is what sex is about, is the union of earth/fem and heaven/masc in oneself. Trust yourself. Keep moving. Smile…
Love and blessings, AlexanderJuly 18, 2007 at 6:09 pm #22959
I am interested to know WHY you want to conserve your male sexual energy?
Do you feel you don’t have enough male sexual energy?
You want to be a better partner in bed?
Do you feel exhausted after sex?
Is it the idea of spiritual enlightenment?
Answers on this can shed a light on the reason why you seem to be in trouble with it. But this is an open forum and you might feel unwilling to share these intimate things.
Your question is more a Practice question but you don’t need to apology nor feel you are rude asking something so important to you. We are not here to judge but to help each other.July 19, 2007 at 11:17 am #22961
Considering what you wrote you need a guru/dojo, not a hint of direction. so you do not need a dvd, you need workshop. michael wrote a proposed sequence of study.July 20, 2007 at 3:00 am #22963
Thank you all for your help and advice.
Jernej, where would I go about finding said workshop or said proposed sequence of study? Thanks.
“You want to be a better partner in bed?
Do you feel exhausted after sex?
Is it the idea of spiritual enlightenment?”
All three of these are reasons I want to improve my control over my sexual energy. However, I have a long list of reasons why I want to do this.
It has nothing to do with the fact that I am embaressed to share why, but I don’t think anybody would believe me if I told them. I will go ahead and write why I want to improve my control over sexual energy, but I usually keep it to myself because most people think I am strange, looney, crazy, or a liar when I tell them.
2 or 3 years ago, after I started practicing Tai Chi, I began feeling what felt like electric current, warm water, or pleasent buzzing flowing through my body. I have no idea what this is, but I am labeling it “Chi”, because I don’t know how else to label it or how to describe it to other people.
At the same time I became aware of chi, I began feeling tingling all over my body, that felt like bugs crawling through my skin. It was a very itchy, annoying, , discomforting, and distasteful feeling and I wanted it to go away. I quickly realized a corrilation between ejaculation/sex and this distasteful feeling intensifying. I experimented with Celibacy for a long time, but in the end, I didn’t feel that it was healthy… So I began practicing sex without ejaculation. Though I do not ejactulate when having sex, I still lose chi and the negative feeling still intensifies, though not nearly as much as when I ejaculate.
If I don’t have sex, I feel the feeling of “Chi” getting stronger and stronger every day. It feels quite wonderful and I would love to develop my chi more. When I have sex, the feeling of chi diminishes and the negative sensations grow stronger.
I believe it has to do with the “chi” or energy in my body transforming into bodily fluids when I have sex. I would like to learn how to keep all my energy and not lose any so I can develop my chi.
I am spiritually curious about chi and have felt some amazing things at times when I had refrained from sex for a long time. I would like to venture in this territory and see how deep the rabbit hole goes. I believe it could lead me to a path of spiritual enlightenment. However, I am unable to do this because I am unable to figure out how to have sex without losing energy. I have been very interested in learning how to do this, but I have no teacher, no ideas or ways of finding a teacher, no idea how to practice or improve, and no idea how to achieve my goals. I am a student with a desire to learn, but with no idea how to go about doing it.
Please help me. Thank you.July 20, 2007 at 7:56 am #22965
– strong orgasms without ejaculation, sometimes without erection even.
However I have to say that the ‘distasteful feeling’ could very easily be a creeping karmic guilt thing to do with dislike of sex on some deep level. I still say emotional leaching of your energy sexually is far more like to come from considerations within your character. I could never believe that the ability to be celibate relates to spiritual achievement. For big spiritual efforts I sometimes go celibate beforehand but I don’t believe it’s hugely important under normal circumstances. In fact for me involvement with sex is very important as a way of being connected to the energies of life.
So don’t simply think (is my advice) that because sex loses you energy therefore ‘sex is the problem’. This is outdated ideas to me. To know if there is something in you that dislikes or disapproves of sex you have to know yourself deeply – but then if you are going into spirituality and you want to sound the depths of the rabbit hole, well, you need to do that anyhow don’t you?
Just my thoughts… best of luck with this, Jason
To know whetherJuly 20, 2007 at 8:16 am #22967
Jason can you enlight us with some of the basic ideas/exercises of multiples.com?July 20, 2007 at 8:52 am #22969
It’s basically a meditation on sexual feelings which you concentrate on developing inside yourself by using a vocalization to trigger them off. There’s some physical stimulation when you have the hang of it but the first steps are just using the sound and breathing and seeing signs of arousal develop inside yourself. Eventually you use sound to ‘ejaculate’ the energy out of your mouth. The energy gets very intense, and you get contractions and wave after wave of orgasm, but if you get good there doesn’t need to be much if any physical stimulation. If you are with a partner you can swap energy. Orgasms are very intense and don’t require erection necessarily – the catch is it might take a while to learn, depending on how you take to it. It’s meant for men but apparently women do it alot also.
For men the only other thing I heard of was this aneros anal doodad that Plato used to promote. This is not for me let’s say! But ever since I was a kid I liked to lie still and just concentrate on sexual arousal and feelings, so the multiples thing happened to be good for me. Of course if one disapproves of sex then it won’t work hahahaha!
best JasonJuly 20, 2007 at 9:12 am #22971
… the reason I was thinking about it for asthmatic there is really because it will settle once and for all why sex is losing him energy. All over the CDs for multiples is stuff about what they call ’emotional furballs’, that is, things which prevent emotional connection to sexuality and intimacy in men, being brought up by the practice. Time and again, it seems, – was the same with me too – it turns out a man can’t be having multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms unless he is emotionally comfortable with himself, with sex and intimacy. Often you feel definite ‘stuff’ standing in the way of joy and pleasure in your body, definite issues popping up. To me it’s these issues that reduce your energy in sex, it’s not a sperm mechanism.
So if asthmatic goes this route he will find if he has these issues which I am guessing is far more likely than a mechanical problem with ejaculation as I say. You and I both know that people are often using celibacy in spirituality as a negative thing, as a way of not dealing with life, people who have ‘incarnation issues’ etc. who don’t like the idea of being in a body and who want to use the spiritual to disengage from life – exactly the kind of people Michael talks about from the TM movement in the latest chiflowsnaturally for example. To me that kind of thing is 180deg different from the positive and disciplined use of witholding oneself from sexual activity to explore what happens or to build energy – I believe Michael did go celibate for a while and since he still does sexual practice one can draw one’s own conclusions.
The fact for me is that Mantak’s (and Michael’s! :)) old book, which I did read BTW, didn’t explore these emotional things at all for men. What is being done now on the audio course I don’t know yet, but the multiples methodology did automatically bring up lingering feelings in me that I needed to resolve and it was as valuable in that way for me as it was in giving me piles of orgasms! The two go together in other words. Either you are able to make a deep connection with yourself and another person, or else there will always be something missing in sex for you.
That’s what Alexander was trying to say as well I believe, so I hope asthmatic ponders it well! The stereotypical celibate spiritual seeker is a damaging oversimplification, to me it seems that centuries of people not addressing sex as part of their practice has damaged human karma quite unpleasantly. I know it doesn’t happen here because sex is still emphasized but I have met people, magicians even, who just thought they were above it all, and thus above the common ruck. This is to cut oneself off emotionally.
I’ll stop now!!!! 🙂
JJuly 20, 2007 at 9:55 am #22973July 20, 2007 at 10:37 am #22975
Creeping feeling could also be health imbalance,emotional resistance amplified by sexual energy.July 20, 2007 at 10:45 am #22977July 20, 2007 at 11:32 am #22979
I suggest you try the Healing Love audio course – AFTER you’ve done Qigong Fundamentals and Fusion homestudy courses. The full week homestudy course has the female perspective of my partner, who has tested these methods for 20 years. It’s all 100% guaranteed, return it if not happy/not your path.
The first book I wrote for Mantak Chia is nearly 25 years old, the audio courses update that with: best and simplest methods that don’t interfere with sex, how to integrate emotional body, which energetic pathways are easiest and differences between them, how to avoid guilt, focus on recirculation, etc etc. The lesser kan and li is the doorway to spriitual sex,b ut you arent likely to be successful at that without doing the prerequisites.
All of Nnoonth’s concerns are addressed by studying this in sequence. You need training in chi cultivation overall, not just sexual energy. That what’s the Fundamentals and Fusion tgive you, and why I always recommend people study them first, instead of thinking it just a problem of having the right sexual technique.
The sexual moaning and groaning technique is not just on mulitiples, it is being sold by other sites as well, re-packaged. Sound moves chi, it is that simple. I suggest adepts use the healing sounds, and be more precise in which organs they tonify or want to direct it to (usually heart sound for men). Groaning moves kidney chi. But simply re-circulating post-natal sex energy is the beginners level. Capturing it into a vessel and refining its vibration is the spiritual work. Couples can do this for each other to some degeree, depends on their level of spiritual development.
Your intutiion is correct, sexual energy is the alchemical elixir essential for rapid and profound spiritual alchemical work.
Hope this helps.
love, chi, blessings,
ps heading back into a retreat, may not be answering further enquiries qucikly.July 20, 2007 at 4:31 pm #22981
I’m not a master at all, I can tell you about my experience.
I think that Cultivating sexual male energy is that last book you shoud read, and the last discipline you should practice, form a solid ground on the fundmentals first (mainly orbit meditation and inner smile) during a looong time. Then, you should know by practicing how to take up your jing to your upper centers just using mind intention, but when you finally learn how to do it, and finally do this… BE Care ! Jinq or life force is kundalini force, and you “burn” all by inside you. Already experienced that and decided not to follow, so just keep doing the fundamentals and those practices will change your life in the long term, believe. Don’t worry about retaining all your semen, I was one of those, but after practice experience changed my mind about this topic, maybe if I’d have Chia or someone with experience I will do it, but i just guide myself from mantak books so the fundamentals are good enough 🙂
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