November 6, 2015 at 12:48 pm #45113
Last night I had a dream orgasm. I don’t recall ever having this type of experience before. It was not a wet dream – there was no ejaculation in waking life, but in the dream there was. Also the orgasm felt just like a regular awake one. There was only images before me and I wasn’t involved with any other being that I could tell, just masturbation – however I did feel very much in the same space as the images (porn like)
So is this some sort of sexual repression being surfaced or was I being ‘cued’ by an entity for feeding? I have a history of porn use but have not watched anything in at least a year and do not plan to return. I have been practicing internal qi breathing recently and in the process of learning healing love via homestudy course. I am not concerned just interested and curious of any feedback. Thanks!November 6, 2015 at 6:07 pm #45114
It’s probably not an astral entity. Likely if it were a hungry astral entity, you’d have ejaculated and/or woke up feeling tired and drained. It’s more likely that the Healing Love you are learning is getting your vital organ spirits activated with sexual energy. Then consequently this is amplifying your sexual desire and bringing to surface psycho-sexual emotional issues that were left dormant when you ceased your porn use. In other words, simply stopping the porn likely didn’t really bring completion to your desires, so now your heart-mind is giving you the opportunity to re-explore that, perhaps bringing completion to them in another way. Just my feeling. But you really need to look within and investigate your own inner landscape to see what your own shen have to say, and whether or not there are unresolved issues.
SNovember 7, 2015 at 4:30 pm #45116November 7, 2015 at 4:59 pm #45118
Thanks for the response Steven.
I tend to be a rather secretive person, which I figure is due to my reluctance to receive any feedback about myself (I have all the answers obviously!) I lurk here almost everyday rarely ever posting. So I initially posted this as a way to challenge myself to even talk about something sexual with a forum, attempting to change this area of myself, allowing myself to experience some vulnerability.
Your feedback is appreciated as it helps me to focus in on what I tend to avoid in practice. Thanks.
MichaelNovember 7, 2015 at 9:56 pm #45120
I understand completely.
The thing is, is that most people have a lot of deeply buried psycho-sexual emotional issues. Sex is the strongest impulse next to survival, and yet there are so many cultural taboos and fear patterns imprinted with it, due not only to religious but cultural conditioning. There is a lot that gets repressed simply out of fear, and especially fear-of-judgment.
This is true for everybody . . . yet everybody is likewise bottled up. It’s kind of funny and kind of tragic at the same time.
One solution–albeit typically somewhat terrifying–is to share these personal private psycho-sexual emotional issues with others. It allows true healing to begin, because it forces you to finally get authentic to who you really are, without any concern with what anyone else may think. In some ways, I kind of think it to be the only solution. Because as long as there is fear of “revealing” these to others, then, in a way . . . one is hiding who one truly is, and this is the opposite of being authentic.
Sidebar: It’s probably the one main benefit that “out” homosexuals/bisexuals/etc. have over either closeted homosexuals/bisexuals/etc. OR the “regular” heterosexual population. They’ve done this, to some extent. In their “coming out” process, they made an effort to reveal to the world their sexual desires. In so doing, and overcoming this fear, they typically end up living their lives in state of internal self-happiness and bliss that others don’t experience. They have a sense of joy, a sense of freedom that they are now unburdened by this fear-based curtain that everyone pulls over their lives. Their “coming out” process may not necessarily be viewed as “spiritual healing”, but in reality, it really is. Being authentic is–in my opinion–one of the truest expressions of self-acceptance that there is . . . and true self-acceptance is so fundamental to making any real personal progress.
Consequently, connected to this sidebar, I think everyone (gay/straight/bisexual/whatever/everyone) would benefit from giving a verbal public voice to their psycho-sexual emotional issues. It forces one to get authentic, and to do so in a hurry. The only sticky point is that it typically involves summoning a fair amount of courage to do this, as the fear patterns are typically exceptionally strong and hard to overcome.
But here’s the good news: it’s typically not as big a deal for the listener as it is for the revealer. 🙂
At any rate, back to your post. I know I sort of went off on a tangent, but just wanted to share some related musings . . .
Coming full circle to your post, let me thank you for your posting as much as you are thanking me for my response. When others that likewise may be lurking see that it is not such a big deal to reveal themselves in whatever small way, they may feel the courage to do the same. So thank you! 🙂
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