January 14, 2008 at 3:54 pm #27019
for a series of events, I ended living with a guy which I can’t stand.
I think that when someone talks, although the talker emits energy with his voice, he is catching your attention…
This guy talks so loud, that my attention cannot avoid what he says, and is captured by him. It’s a sort of aggression. When I have some kind of verbal interchange, I feel so drained, almost robbed of my energy, that I crave for silence and solitude. The guy, instead, has always been very very lively and is unaware of his impact on people. Might be this a case of vampirism?
Is there some way to defend myself?
s-January 14, 2008 at 4:47 pm #27020
I learned a method to defende myself by David Deida. Or hes book.
Often when somebody is anoying you, you will feel a cramp in your stomach or tan-tien. One way to defende yourself is to have as much atention to your tan-tien as towards the anoying person.
I have tried it out some times and it often works out to help resolve tentions both for me and for the other person.
Try it it’s wery simple. If you think you are rude if paining atention to yourself, don’t think so, you help the other person also alchemicaly. I belive so anyway and have noticed the changes myself.
Perhaps there are more sofistikated methods from anybody else at the forum, but this one is at least simple and efective.
Sincerely S DJanuary 14, 2008 at 4:47 pm #27022
AS FOR PRACTICES:
I’d recommend practicing the Belt Channel–which is
protective channel around the waist. It is designed
to help act as a shield from outside influences.
Since you feel like your boundaries are being invaded and assaulted,
I’d recommend practicing a lot of other Earth exercises in
addition to the belt channel–such as Deep Earth Pulsing,
and even doing the Earth healing sound/Monkey (QF1) if you are
not familiar with the above. Any grounding exercises like QF4
or Iron Shirt will also help you connect to the Earth. Just
get into a standing posture and imagine rooting into the Earth,
and feeling the Earth support you and stabilize you.
I’d also recommend doing the Inner Smile, focusing on the Yang
version, where you smile outward to everything outside yourself–
including this guy. By having an outward positive radiance,
it creates a natural pressure so things don’t feel like
they are falling in.
Sound entering the ears affects the kidneys, which can weaken
them. Moreover, since this is mainly an Earth issue, and
Earth destroys water, your water could probably use support
also. It may be helpful to do some water exercises
to combat fatigue . . . although I’d still mainly focus
AS FOR THE SITUATION:
First I would suggest confronting the person and telling
him that he needs to not be so loud when he talks! Whenever
he talks, say “shhh, don’t talk so loud”. Do this
repeatedly as he talks if he doesn’t maintain a soft voice.
Of course, while you do this, you’re doing the liver healing
sound for your anger 🙂 . . . and helps prevent vicious wood
from destroying your Earth.
Maybe he’s talking so loud because he’s an attention whore,
and when he sees that you aren’t paying attention to him,
he figures that you “can’t hear him”, so he talks louder.
Whatever the reason, you need to confront him about it, and
give him the opportunity to make changes–sometimes people
don’t realize the effect they have on others.
Regardless, you should *first* give the person the benefit
of the doubt and try talking/communicating your feelings
and make sure that he knows–really knows–how strongly you feel . . .
because even if you talk to him, he might not realize how much
this is affecting you. See if he is willing to change
and give him some time to make changes.
If this doesn’t work and/or if you really can’t stand him,
then I suggest moving out. Your home is supposed to be
a safe haven and sanctuary, and not a place of stress.
In that case, I’d suggest moving out sooner rather than later–
find another roommate or whatever to deal with lease situations,
and just leave. Seriously!
In the intervening time, spend as little time as possible at
home–either be at the library, bookstore, coffeehouse, whatever.
When you are home, wear earplugs to block out the sound and ignore him.
All temporary until you move out, but I’d use these avenues
if and only if you’ve already decided it’s a lost cause and you
have decided on leaving.
My best to your situation,
StevenJanuary 15, 2008 at 12:29 am #27024
Energy lose from what I have found comes from playing along. You can make this a great opertunity to strengthen your integrity. YOu can use your roomate as a tool to feel resitance to speaking with integrity, and maybe old training in politness. We are trained into being polite at the exspence of our vitality and health. Trust comes from honesty not politness in my experience. If your physical home is crazy where will you run to? Maybe you are called to your inner home? Smile to his heart maybe you to will start to harmonize.
Hope my two cents helps
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