January 26, 2007 at 1:06 am #20720
Forgive me if this is slightly off-topic, but I’d like to share with
you a deeply personal story (and subsequent beliefs) that cause
me to believe that the main goal is the evolution of the soul.
When I grew up, I was raised an Evangelical Lutheran. I went to
church every Sunday with my grandmother. My grandfather did not, but
did not say why. When I was 16, I asked him why he didn’t go. He told
me he couldn’t tell me. After I pressed him, he said, “OK, you’re old
enough”. He told me he was atheist, and that he had promised my grandmother
not to say anything until I was 18. I pressed him for more details,
and he explained why he was atheist, and explained that I should question my
I initially brushed his comments aside, but slowly they gnawed on me.
After a couple of years, his comments and other questions arose in me slowly
but surely unraveling the fabric of my beliefs, and ultimately destroyed them.
I fell into a deep depression and for a period questioned everything. I wasn’t even sure there was a God! I became deeply afraid of death, the idea of it, etc, to where I would lay awake at night in fear and depression of going to sleep–for fear of what death meant.
Every night I prayed that I would be given some understanding of my purpose, the nature of reality, and everything. Even though I wasn’t sure there was a God, I prayed intensely to the universe asking it to please give me some answers.
I was in this state for about a year and a half!
It was as if I had fallen into some hell.
I can not adequately express how deeply fearful and depressed I was.
It was terrible!
Then one night, the universe answered me.
I went to sleep, and had a “dream”.
I say “dream”, because the experience was so profoundly real that I can’t even adequately describe it in words!
In this “dream”, I was walking down some empty peaceful street, and to my left–just above and behind my left shoulder–was this intensely warm, peaceful, loving light. I asked this light all of my fears, questions, concerns. It responded with the most comforting embracing love and reassurance. It said, or rather “communicated” nonverbally to me, with “Steve, please stop worrying. I’m here. I’ve always been here. Everything is going to be all right. Just enjoy your life.”
When I awoke the next morning, I awoke with a profound sense of peace and happiness. I knew through and through that the experience was NOT just a dream, and that it was real.
Some of you may say, “well, after suffering for so long, your brain just told you what it needed to hear to end the misery”, but I can tell you whole-heartedly that
that is not the case. The experience was real and profound, and was not just a dream. Nothing in words could really convince you of that, but I know for myself what it was.
After the episode, I never felt more at peace. I hadn’t really been given any “answers” at least up until that point, but I was overwhelmed with a feeling like “everything is going to be all right; I don’t need to worry anymore” I knew that there was some kind of “God”, or at least some loving, nurturing aspect to the universe that is connected to every individual.
Then within the next year or two, “answers” started coming. Without even trying, certain things just started to reveal themselves. Moreover, I knew that they were true without even needed to think about it.
This is what my soul has told me:
1. We are in a cycle of “life” and “anti-life”.
2. When you die, you enter this void, which I’ll called “anti-life”. Your persona/soul becomes (inadequately described) a little dancing speck of light.
3. Out of the “corner of your eye”, you notice a great big burning ball of light. It is very welcoming and loving, and asks you to join it. You feel compelled to join it.
4. You “float/move” toward it, and eventually enter it.
5. Inside you feel complete and total bliss. You are completely happy. You feel completely loved.
6. You still remain your separate self though. It is as if a “shell” protects/separates you from the rest of the light mass.
7. After a period of time, the loving light mass, “asks” you if you would like
to dissolve your shell, and merge with the rest of the light mass.
8. Fear is not the right word here, because you feel no fear–only bliss. However, the idea doesn’t sound appealing. You recognize that your personality is different from the personality of the light mass, and that by dissolving your shell, your personality ceases to be–as you become one with the mass.
9. You decide to remain separate.
10. After a period of time, even though you feel completely happy and completely loved, you feel unsatisfied. You don’t want to join the mass, but you feel unfulfilled. You start wondering what you should do now.
11. You then notice Earth out of the corner of your eye. You observe/intuit all of the activity that is taking place there, and long to be a part of it again. Kind of the feeling that one gets when you want to go on vacation, or go to an amusement park.
12. You “ask” the light mass if it would be OK, if you went “down there” and took a look around. The light mass tells you that, of course you can, and that you can do anything you want.
13. The next thing you know you are in the womb, a fetus soon to be born. As you wait, you begin to forget the “anti-life” realm, as you are so excited about life, and could “care less” about the “anti-life” realm.
14. You are born anew, and live again.
15. As you live, due to new experiences your soul evolves. It purifies.
16. When you die, you return to the light mass with a more pure essence.
17. This cyclical refining process happens again and again. Each time your essence purifies more and more, and your “personality” becomes more and more
similar to that of the light mass.
18. Eventually, there comes a time when your soul has evolved to the point that it matches that of the light mass. Then, when the light mass asks you to join it and become one with it, there is no hesitation. You no longer feel that your essence/being will be destroyed, as you and it have the same “personality”.
19. You then join it, and the cycle stops.
In a way, it is ironic. When we are here, we spend our time thinking about what happens on the other side. When we are there, we spend our time thinking about what happens here. It is this loop, like yin becoming yang, and yang becoming yin.
The nature of reality, existence, and everything is extremely complex, and I do not claim that this is the “complete picture”. However, I know that it is a piece of it.
I know that there is no way that I can convey to you this knowledge. I can’t even really explain why I know that this is true. I just know that it is. I wish that there was some way I could transmit this “understanding”, as I have felt such peace from it.
In conclusion, the main goal of existence here is EVOLUTION OF THE SOUL.
Furthermore, I know (even though I’m just beginning to learn the elements of Taoist qigong and meditation from Michael Winn’s DVDs), that Taoist qigong and meditation works in concert with this goal and helps to accelerate the natural evolution of the soul.
With love to you all,
SteveJanuary 26, 2007 at 6:50 am #20721
You’re in the right forum (: Deep regards, BarryJanuary 27, 2007 at 12:11 am #20723
I experienced the light and the bliss too. Yes! there is nothing to be worried about 🙂
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