Girl causing unusual effects on my aura

If you want some straightforward advice–albeit maybe not
easy to hear–I think the problem is you are having
boundary issues.

In other words, it’s not the girl that’s doing it.
You are.

You probably have some weak boundaries and due
to becoming infatuated with this girl, you are
getting your energies confused with hers.

Your whole post has the flavor of weak Earth element,
as it takes the tone of someone on too much coffee
with a dash of paranoia thrown in (even in your
first paragraph you are worried about her finding your
post, worried about talking about Taoism, etc.)

I suggest doing a lot of grounding practices and especially
doing a LOT of BELT CHANNEL work. You’re losing your center
and you need to be able to find it again and be able
to separate what is you from what is not you.

Recognize that you are attracted to this girl, accept it,
enjoy it, but at the same time, keep your center and
don’t let yourself get lost in the mix. Maintaining a
strong boundary is a good tool in this, which is why
I suggest doing a LOT of BELT CHANNEL work. Also, go
for some nice long solo walks to clear your head and
amplify your Earth connection.

Otherwise you are not doing yourself or her any favors.

And I say these words with a lot of love . . .

My best to you,
Steven

Well,

I’ll give you some things to consider and contemplate
based on your original post:

“avoid the person i write about to find this”
“avoid talking to her about taoism”

1. If things are as great as you say, why would you need to avoid her?

A centered person is not worried about what others may do, as
it is impossible to predict another’s actions. If things are
meant to go a certain direction, they will; if not, they won’t.
—-

“as she might google “taoism” and come across this forum, find this post, and recognise my style of writing and the situation”

2. Why should you be worried at all about what she might do?

—-

“I might have some boundary issues in general
(when i am around ppl with negative energy or ppl
who feel negative towards me, it becomes a huge issue)”

3. You use the words “huge issue”. You might want to think about this.

—
It’s not uncommon for two people in love to have a
strong influence on each other, but another statement
you make is very telling:

“I recently met a girl (i don’t know yet how things
are going to develop, we’re just getting to know
each other right now).”

4. You just met, huh? Does it seem healthy to you for
energies of a person you just met, dance and play in
your internal landscape? Hoping and painting a picture
before you even grab a brush is a little premature.

—

These are things to seriously look at objectively.

Now to your recent post:

>>>What’s happening now doesn’t feel unpleasant at all.
>>>Shouldn’t “losing my center” feel unpleasant
>>>in some way, if that’s what happening?

Not necessarily.
There are plenty of drugs a person can take that
will feel pleasant also: doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.

>>>If you are indeed correct, what concrete
>>>problems could it cause?

1. Early in a relationship you may overlook warning signs
from another person. Since their energies are doing
a dance inside you, things they say or do may seem
“familiar”, and thus OK. You could get into a bad
relationship.

**Any body `trapped’ in a bad relationship can
relate to this one**

2. Suppose it develops into a relationship.
You are totally in love, but you’ve given your center
to another person. Then, let’s say, they break your
heart and leave you. Guess what? They take your
center with them, and leave you utterly destroyed
and unable to function because you no longer know
“who you are”.

**I made the mistake of putting myself in this
position a few years ago, and it was a nightmare
and took a long time to piece myself back together
again**–but I’m not the only one who has fallen
victim to this trap.

3. Suppose you fall in love with another person.
Suppose they had a lot of traumas in their life
earlier on. Instead of being able to be a person
who can support your loved one, you become another
person to share the trauma. You may even begin
to imagine that some of your partner’s traumas
are things you experienced as well. Rather than
helping your partner, you become another victim.

**A close friend of mine had this experience**–but
many others do as well.

Need I go on?

There nothing wrong with falling in love. Love
is a wonderful, terrific thing. The trick is, to
be able to do it in a healthy way. Maintain your
center and objectivity through the process. It’s
really the only way to be truly loving to both
yourself and the other person. Giving up your
center and allowing yourself to drown in the mix
is neither loving toward yourself or the other
person. You want to be a support, not an anchor.

But it’s the stuff I quoted that caused to me respond
the way I did.

If you practice zazen, you should realize the importance
of discovering who you are beneath the changing clouds.
If you realize this, then it should become all the
more important to you to understand how you want to
keep your center and be able to clearly identify what
is you and what is not you.

So I stand by my comments in my previous post.
Do some grounding. Do some Belt Channel work.
Go for some nice long solo quiet walks.
Etc.

And think carefully and objectively about what I said,
because I say what I say coming from a good place.

Fair warning.

S

>>>Just wanted to ask is doing the
>>>belt channel movements in the DH many times
>>>considered to be doing “a lot of the belt channel”,
>>>I feel the DH movements very strongly
>>>except for the belt channel movement.
>>>Then, I hardly nothing at all like a belt just the
>>>breath coming in from between my kidneys.
>>>
>>>Thanks,
>>>Adel

Hi Adel,

The phrase “a lot” varies depending on the individual.
One person may do a certain amount of a particular
practice and it is plenty, but another person who
really needs the work done from a particular
practice, it may not be enough.

In other words, it’s hard to quantify “a lot”.

“A lot” basically means do enough so that desirable
positive changes start to occur, and then do a little more.

Regarding DHQ, the Belt Channel Qigong is a nice
movement. It’s hard to say what not feeling much
when you do the movement signals, as each person
is different. Speaking from my experience, when I
first did the DHQ, for a long long time, I didn’t
feel much during that movement. Now if I do that
movement, I feel quite a bit. It could be because
I’m more sensitive to my qi flow now, it could be
because I’m more grounded and have better boundaries,
it could just be that my body now knows what I’m
trying to communicate, I’m not sure. The point is
to stick with it, maybe do a little more of it, play
around with it, and maybe your experience will
change over time. But if it does change, it may
not be overnight either (it was more a slow
process for me).

There are other Belt Channel practices that one may
do also, aside from the Belt Channel Qigong (which
you’ve noticed is part of DHQ). There are numerous
meditation practices from Fusion 2 that involve
either circulating qi or circulating a golden pearl
around your circumference (like a belt). You can
loop it around like a hula hoop, you can spiral it
up around you from your head to your feet, you can
do visualization of surrounding your aura and energy
body in a cocoon of golden light, etc. There are lots more.
So you may want to look into trying some of those–see Fusion 2.
Moreover, if you try some of those, it will give
you new insight into the Belt Channel Qigong practice,
and will allow you to take it deeper and get more
profound effects.

I still do the Belt Channel Qigong practice, though–
both as a separate practice and as part of the DHQ.
It’s a nice practice. I suggest continuing with it
even if it doesn’t seem like you are “getting much” now.

Hope that helps,
Steven

If see floats your boat and finds your lost remote, go for it! I still recommend grounding practice to help with any worrying. Of course one of the best grounding practices is some good old hanky panky. Go find the common ground you both share. 🙂

>>>I just want to put my 2 cents in. Not worth too much.

Why put yourself down right at the beginning, and say
your comments are “not worth too much”?

I’ve noticed that your posts come straight from the
heart and are therefore inherently valuable. It is a
tragedy to believe otherwise.

>>>When we create boundaries are we creating them with wisdom or fear?

Exactly. There’s a difference between building a wall around yourself
so that you can hide, feel safe and protected, and be cut off from others
VS. strengthening yourself so that you can operate outward from a solid
core so that you have the ability to love MORE.

There’s a difference between trying to fill the hole inside yourself
with another person VS. filling it in yourself so that you have extra
to share.

I’m not saying this is easy.

Most of us have a number of various holes deep within that may take
a lifetime to fill, so it’s not practical nor reasonable to think
that you should wait until you are “completely fixed” (whatever
the hell that means) before getting into a relationship with someone
else–but it does mean loving yourself while you bring in
another person to the picture.

>>>There is a past teacher that I won’t see anymore
>>>because he naturally has an inclination to put me down.
>>>I just decided I didn’t need his disrespect anymore
>>>so I don’t go there. I don’t need that. He helped me
>>>see that some teachers teach one way, some another.
>>>I learned a lot form him. I thank him for it. Now it
>>>is hasta la vista baby. However this teacher and I,
>>>well his energy gave me a happiness that I loved to
>>>have but it is not healthy for me. So I had to walk away
>>>for it took away my freedom and my integrity and
>>>my self worth. I never did anything with him other
>>>than what a student should but he had too many games.

It can take real strength to put yourself first.
It’s fantastic that you did.
I’m sorry for your trauma.

>>>You should one day be able to see people
>>>as the wonderful energy they all are and
>>>that it is just their hurt that creates
>>>the bullshit.

Exactly.

It’s important to recognize the insensitivity
of someone else as being their problem and
not taking it onto yourself.

>>>The German fellow and I played circles/push hands
>>>for about 15 minutes. It was so much fun.
>>>After we were done. The young fellow stepped back
>>>and said — Wow, I needed that! I haven’t been
>>>with my girlfriend for almost a month and pushing hands
>>>with you was like I released all of the sexual energy.
>>>It was like having sex.

That guy’s comments were extremely inappropriate and immature.
He should have had the common sense to keep his revelations to
himself.

>>>I never realized till then what my energy can do.

Women elicit secret sexual reactions in heterosexual
men ALL THE TIME–e.g. erections being simple common example.
It’s just that most of the said men are smart enough to keep
their “honesty” to themselves. Doing otherwise is an invasion
of the other person’s boundaries–not to mention an indicator
of some serious immaturity.

In other words, it wasn’t your issue; it was his.
It was probably a good move to steer clear of him. 🙂

S