May 18, 2009 at 2:40 pm #31546
As many of you probably know I have a long time history of a wery cold body syndrome. In association with a burned out condition.
I have been om armour thyroid and hydrocortison, the former is continued but with at a lesser level and the other is stoped completely.
I have now a treatment with homeopathy. But I have a sign in my treatment that I realy not understund. Since about three months back I have had severe stresses from time to time, but I see a pattern in this. During the intence and stressful periods my body developes what I call superficial heat. I feel hot in the body! That is very unusual. The hotness is sometimnes severe and I feel some small problems with it, I need to be a bit cooler to feel comfotable. But as I have the heat going on in my body I still have the cold intolerance as before. And I feel this is a bit weired. I have been thinking of it in the following way. I see it as if during the stress period or owerworking period my body creates energy, or take energy from it’s deposites, that energy is felt stressful and hot. The hotness is empty beacase it is just stress energy and it is not long lasting upbuilt energy. After the periods I feel extraorinary tiered and need to sleep extremely much and rest for several days in a row to come back and be active at my work or at home.
This is what I have been thinking about this pattern so far. But the last days I have been thinking in another direction. I see the hot energy as perhaps a part of the solution. My body is starting building hot yang energy in my system. This could be a start of the healing process a start of a solution for the coldness I so much have been looking and longing for for the last ten years! But I’m not totaly convinved jet. I think it would be good to be in the process without owerworking so much. But I go into the work beacase it is a tradition I have done for several years and a work that is highly positive and not long lasting. And the money is not unimportant for my possibilite to finnish my master thesis work either.
The changed pattern was recognised by my homeopaths also. I go to a group of them for free, they treat some patients together and develope themselves further as healers in that way. They so a new pattern that was recognized as a heat pattern. So they might change the treatment from a cold pattern homeopathic medicine to a hot pattern homeopathic medicine. But they have decided to wait and see in which direction the things are going. But if they are rigth? Is it possible that hidden in my cold syndrome there have been a heat syndrome as well? As yang within yin.
I am a bit confused and at the same time curious. Whatever it is it signals to me that theire is some changes going on regarding the heat and the cold in my body and that is absolutely possitive and looked for since a long time. But how far will the changes reach? And is this realy a possive sign?
S DMay 23, 2009 at 9:04 am #31547
Angels Die In Offensive States?
I very much agree what Paolino Luna says about diet.
Other important thing would be to choose yoga or qigong practices which really work therapeutically. I would say most important is zhan zhuang type of practice with stretching.
A.D.I.O.S.June 6, 2009 at 2:05 am #31549
Let me point out a few things I noticed when reading this.
>>>In association with a burned out condition. [*some clipped*]
>>>I think it would be good to be in the process
>>>without owerworking so much. But I go into the work
>>>beacase it is a tradition I have done for several
>>>years and a work that is highly positive and not
>>>long lasting. And the money is not unimportant for
>>>my possibilite to finnish my master thesis work either.
You are not going to like what I’m going to say, but
given what I know about you, I think it’s true.
You don’t *really* want to get well.
Well, I should qualify that. You *DO* what to get better,
but it’s less important to you than other things.
The reality is, you are really not going to find
something that is going to cure you. You can try all
kinds of different things, but none of them are going
to *really* going to get rid of the problem. The best
you really can hope for by doing these things is to
get some short-term symptom relief.
The REAL problem, the REAL cause, is that you are
a workaholic. You work way too much, but you LOVE to
do so. It’s part of who you are. You don’t really
want to give that up, even though it’s not a healthy
pattern. Yes, you want to get rid of your symptoms,
but you don’t really want to eliminate the cause.
In fact, you yourself admit that when you start
feeling better–either through some of these treatments,
or through doing qigong/Iron Shirt/etc., then you
use your newfound health and energy to work even harder,
and then have a relapse and feel terrible for several days.
Yes, you want to be healthy and symptom-free, but you want
MORE to be able to work a lot. Really, you’d like both, but
it’s the working that’s contributing to the illness. In other
words, you are not willing to do what it takes to eliminate
the illness. There is something more important to you, namely
being able to work a lot. It’s something that gives you a
lot of joy and happiness. You are not interested in giving
that intensity up, just so you can get rid of the illness–you’d
rather fish around for things less effective hoping something
else will do the job of curing you.
I know you might say that your current workload is “temporary”,
but I don’t believe that. First, it was “I need to
do this to finish my master’s degree”; then it’s “I need to
continue to get a licentiate, or even a PhD, because doing
this work is important to me.” Even after that, there will
always be *some* reason why you need to keep working. The
bottom line is, whether you want to admit it or not, you
LOVE working really hard on your area of study. It’s your
biggest passion in life. As much as you’d like to get
rid of your illness, you love this a whole lot more. I’m
not casting any judgment on you for this; who’s to say what
a person should or shouldn’t do–especially if it makes the
person happy. But this is something you should still realize.
You really have to decide–or become aware of–the level
of importance things are to you. Really you can either
decide to make a RADICAL lifestyle change to eliminate
your illness, or you can continue your current lifestyle
which ultimately I think is what is making you happy and
then accept that you are probably not going to really ever
get over your illness, other than some short-term symptom
I’ve come to the realization recently that everyone that
has a chronic illness really has the power to eliminate
it (myself included, e.g. intestinal condition). Moreover,
we all know–deep down–what we really need to do to eliminate
the problem. We don’t do it however, because ultimately
we are not willing to do what is necessary to fix it–often
making a radical adjustment as to how we interact in the world,
physically and emotionally.
I myself don’t have the courage or interest to do what I
need to do to fix my intestinal problem. Other things I hate
to admit are more important to me. Yes, I’d like it gone,
but I’m not really willing to do what is necessary to eliminate
it. I don’t think you do, for your condition either.
All of these chronic physical conditions are the body’s way
of trying to get you to solve a problem. As long as you don’t
address the underlying problem, it will never go away.
And for us, I’m afraid to say, we’d rather do other things more
important to us than to deal with the underlying problem.
Any excuse for not dealing with the underlying problem is
really just an excuse. An excuse plain and simple–to try
to dodge the fact that we really want to do something more,
but can’t admit it.
All of the above, just my opinion, of course.
But, ignoring your instant reaction to disagree, I think
you know what I’m talking about 🙂
And I’m smiling a big smile to your path, as I say this also 🙂
My best wishes to you,
StevenJune 6, 2009 at 3:56 am #31551
I think you are partly right. Or perhaps more so.
Actually I am trying to find the midle way. I am trying to do what I want
conserning jobs and carier and it is my passion in life, no dobt about that.
No dobt about that being a workaholic is the biggest rot to the problem and
a reason for why it takes long time to fix it.
On the other hand by choosing the thing I want to do I’ve got more energy and reason to cure myself. My path is to work so litle so that my energy level is rising ower time. I have not been able to find a fast cure and are not looking for one at the moment. I think this will take time and are willing to do what’s necessarily for many years to come.
I’m for the moment in a situation where I sometimes work to much, that is true. I also know why. I realy want to get started whith the things I want to do and many times in my life it hasn’t been possible for several different reasons. I am a workaholic but I also give myself rest nowdays.
My plan is to finnish master thesis next term and not work much at all as a teacher. I also want to finnisch some litle stuff from other corses I have left.
The thing is Steven I work alot but I also work alot to be cured, by giving myself rest by doing my qigong by taking time off and by eating good by doing treatments. Of corse one of the most important things is to give myself enough rest. I am quite aware of this, beacase I have worked for several years with that part and still do.
I think we not come much longer in this discussion for the moment. It is interesting and it will be a part of my solution in the years to come. It is extremely important aspect of my treatment to give myself enough rest.
By the way I have been fighting for having half time health insurance for my country and will not have to work more than half time for the next year to come. So I can start my licentiate at half time. When that work is started if my plans will work in januray, I can be able to set up a scheme for myself that both take care of giving myself enough rest and to give myself time to finish that work. I think it is possible to find a midle way there. When working with my master thesis I have been given myself a day totaly of work and any kind of social duties. I have also given myself another day of for social activities and other pleassurable things. I have also given myself time to practise and lie down to rest everyday.
This is the way I am going to work in the future also.
Regarding my health my goal is to reach a sitation where my health is improving ower time and not being less good. That is my meassure if I reach that I continue with what I am doing and if I not reach that I do less work and more treatment.
Actually I am able to take it slower after hard work I think so anyway.
Thank you Steven and welcome back!
SDJune 7, 2009 at 8:20 am #31553
Nice to talk with you again . . .
Sorry if I came on a little strong 🙂
Sometimes, when people are struggling they just
tell their problems because they are looking for
support. In that case, providing support without
adding a personal commentary can be good in itself.
If that’s the case, I apologize–as it’s my sincere
wish that everyone do well, both physically and
You’re a person that does everything intensely;
it’s one of the things I admire about you–your
strong will and motivation.
Just wanted to point out that–in fact–it may
very well be the *intensity* itself that’s the
problem. You even say “you work a lot to get
healthy”–so even there you are “doing something
with intensity”, if you get my meaning. Anyhow,
I just wanted to point it out, and shake you up
a bit in the process to make sure you noticed, LOL 🙂
Best to your path,
StevenJune 8, 2009 at 2:57 am #31555
Yes, I recognise the meaning of your posts.
Things have happened and I am starting to work!!!! harder with my
I Know about that paradox! It is even recognised in the book that I follow.
What I am trying to achive is to follow the whole program in the book from now on.
To change my sexual behaviour. To avoid cofe and alcohole. And much more. I’m shore I will present the whole program soon. This time I am looking for some professional help to be able to follow the program.
I have also done some changes in my yoga program.
Unfortunately the intense periods often follow by some kind of collapse. It might be true that the intense work is contraproductive in some sence. But I also have recognised that my changes to get well aren’t so good if I’m not fighting. Pehaps I am wrong and realise it in a few years from now, but untill then I realy want to go on figting it.
One thing that is true from your post, is that one of the points in the program for recovering should be to not owerwork. I have a list without that point in it, that I did yesterday, but perhaps that point should be the one on the top.
I will put restrictions on my teaching work from no on. I will just work a few weeks with it the next term and I will not work more than half time. Untill know I have been quite flexible on that part, a money issue and a will to follow my students during theire field works. It is quite hard to follow theire development when you not are with them all the time.
I hope I am into a real commitment this time. Also encourage by the fact that it seems possible to start with my licentiate in January 2010.
To not get to frustrated I think I need to enjoy some nice girls on the way to recovery and perhaps also gain some yang qi or Jing during the way. Seems to me that I should be looking in the directions of yoga classes nearby or in the new age movement to find someone that chare some of my aspiration dedication and interest. There are also alot more of woman in those circles than men, at least in my home city, so the chanses seems to me to be rather big there. Which me good luck on that journey please. 🙂
S DJune 11, 2009 at 12:15 am #31557
>>>Things have happened and I am starting to work!!!!
>>>harder with my health problems.
>>>I Know about that paradox!
>>>It is even recognised in the book that I follow.
>>>What I am trying to achive is to follow the
>>>whole program in the book from now on.
>>>To change my sexual behaviour. To avoid cofe
>>>and alcohole. And much more. I’m shore I will
>>>present the whole program soon. This time I am
>>>looking for some professional help to be able to
>>>follow the program. I have also done some changes
>>>in my yoga program.
One thing I’ve found to be true is that even more
important than working “hard” to improve, or doing
a lot of qigong (which is great also), is to pay
attention to how you live your “everyday life”
when you are not doing qigong. By this I mean to
try to relax and live life from a state of subdued
happiness. Try not to take things too seriously;
as you do your day-to-day life, try to recognize
that things you create tension and anxiety around
are ultimately not that important, and just let it
go. Try to live from a state of measured trust–that
everything will be OK and you don’t need to worry
about doing something a “certain” way to make it
happen. Trust that it will happen, and the universe
will create the best path.
I’m not always successful in completely implementing
this advice myself–too many bad habits–but I have
found great changes and feel a lot better in my body
when I do manage to pull it off. It’s something that
takes practice. What seems to work well is to do
some qigong that puts you in a blissful happy safe
state, and then when the qigong ends, try to
continue to live your life and act from that same
state as long as possible. See if you can then
notice when certain tensions and desires-for-control
start to happen to take you away from that state,
and if you can notice it happening, then whatever
it is–just let it go, and realize that whatever
it is, is not important. You can then use the qigong
for training for this. I’ve found a lot of positive
changes happen from this. It’s something I’ve been
playing with; you might try it and see what you think;
something to play with, at any rate.
>>>Unfortunately the intense periods often follow
>>>by some kind of collapse. It might be true that
>>>the intense work is contraproductive in some sence.
>>>But I also have recognised that my changes to get
>>>well aren’t so good if I’m not fighting. Pehaps I am
>>>wrong and realise it in a few years from now, but
>>>untill then I realy want to go on figting it.
Try playing with the method I mentioned above; it might
help reduce some of the back-and-forth swinging . . .
and release some of the struggle.
>>>I will put restrictions on my teaching work from no on.
>>>I will just work a few weeks with it the next term and
>>>I will not work more than half time. Untill know I have
>>>been quite flexible on that part, a money issue and a
>>>will to follow my students during theire field works.
>>>It is quite hard to follow theire development when you
>>>not are with them all the time.
Sounds like a good idea.
As to the latter idea about “following their development”
and “feeling the need to be with all the time”, I understand
this feeling. You have to sort of let it go a little bit.
Recognize that you can’t do everything and also give some
trust that they will be able to find their own path and
that they’ll be OK. It might not be what you could consider
“optimal”, but what does “optimal” mean anyway? Who’s to
say that some fumbling on their own might not be better
for them in the long run anyway? Something to think about.
>>>To not get to frustrated I think I need to enjoy some
>>>nice girls on the way to recovery and perhaps also
>>>gain some yang qi or Jing during the way. Seems
>>>to me that I should be looking in the directions
>>>of yoga classes nearby or in the new age movement
>>>to find someone that chare some of my aspiration
>>>dedication and interest. There are also alot more
>>>of woman in those circles than men, at least in my
>>>home city, so the chanses seems to me to be rather
>>>big there. Which me good luck on that journey please. 🙂
No problem. Good luck.
Wishing you to connect with some nice women 🙂
StevenJune 12, 2009 at 2:24 pm #31559
Will not answer alot to you rigth now. To tiered.
But I feel like your suggsestions are well in tuned with what I am thinking about in the moment.
I find the idea of looking for the stressors and change in the mode in the everyday life as realy interesting. I think it comes as a part of the qigong and yoga wheter or not you are aware of it. As I see it it is one of the early benefits from qigong and yoga, you migth be working on for the first early 20 years or so 🙂
Regarding the teaching: I plan to continue with some or the teaching at the company I work for at the moment and take some breake, yearly from my licentitate. The field work our students do each spring might be a perfect breake from the studies. But as you say I want to do this teaching work in the future with more concern to my health. So far I have kept the health problem as a secret from the students. But in the future I migth not hide it and I migth be more open about it and I migth also crave that the company not put more work on me than I can handle for each moment. I hope I also am able to find a ballanced aproach to my licentitate work, that will be my main work in the future, if I got as I want. Well Steven I am shore that this discussion will be important for me in the near future and we will talk about it frequently. Realy I need to focus here and are thankful for any help.
I was on a party with one of the girls that I have been interested in. The one that was married. She have had a divorce and was living with her mother for two months. Right now she have moved back and is trying to live with her former man and theire two children who are teenagers.
She want to give her husband another chance and we have decided to not meet eachother anymore. Well at least not for a long time. I am wery atracted to her and was a bit sad yesterday, but not a complete missery either. That is probably beacase that girl with the situation she is living in not is the right for me. And also I haven’t put any energy into fantasying about here beacase I know and understund that a process of divorce take times and is no easy thing. And I was thinking when meeting her that I not want to be a secret lover, so I was not sleeping with her, even though she realy turned me on. I was waiting for a more clear situation, defined by (boring word) that she could meet and see me without any secret. That did never happen and we did meet more and more less often, and today there are no big bounds betwean us. I not think so anyway.
What I see is that both of us have feelings and atractions to eachother but that it’s no idea to investigate it further.
She doesn’t realy understund why I am interesed in putting more effort into the master thesis and not either want me to take a licentiate. Probably she is more interested in a man that can give here financial support.
There seems to be some standards in how at least the midle class in this country should live and if you not fit into that model you are a somewhat strange person. Or perhaps it is just the need for woman to look after a man that can and want and is interested in financially supporting a family that is under the lub here. I don’t know, I just feel that in my life I have to go in the direction that is given from my inside and from my soul, even though that might give me some struggles in my life. Well today I am more ballanced concerning following my inner path and compromising with some outer needs, for instance financial ones, than I was 10 to 20 years ago.
Got a phone call and stop here
SDJune 12, 2009 at 11:28 pm #31561
Thinking about the girl:
what she feels is the greate problem in her marrige is that her husband not have enough energy. She herself is hyperenrgic and all the times want to do things for her excitment. He is 10 years older and work quite hard and can’t follow up with her.
So realy I am not a greate alternative for her, at least not for the moment. Probably having even less energy than her husband.
She also told me this, so she has became aware of my low energy level. And I have also told her about it.
My conclusion from the story with her is that I want to reay follow all the advises in my book about adreanl fatigue. The time have come to go into it even more serious than before.
Questions arises about dicipline contra free life and let go. That is how to obtain greate diciplin in all this and still not be frustrated and still be able to enjoy life. I will look more deep into my sexuality and into possibel good relationships with woman during this more intense disiplined time for cure of myself. Perhaps also a part of the solution lies in the frustration in it self. What is the frustration that hinder you from follow a diciplined life.
Well I think wery many interesting things will happen with me and my health cure in the comning future. Many of them will be described here on this forum for those interested.
SDJune 13, 2009 at 12:50 am #31563
>>>So far I have kept the health problem as a
>>>secret from the students. But in the future
>>>I migth not hide it and I migth be more open
>>>about it and I migth also crave that the company
>>>not put more work on me than I can handle for
I wouldn’t consider “whether you tell them or not”
too seriously. Don’t think about it too much or
analyze too deeply. Other people usually are
wrapped up in their own problems. The fact that
you don’t tell them or whether you do tell them
is likely to be of much more importance to you
and a much bigger deal to you, then to them. In other
words, do what you feel like doing, or what feels
good to you, while also knowing that either choice
creates more thought patterns for you and not them.
I hope you understand what I mean. I don’t mean
that they wouldn’t be compassionate; quite the opposite,
actually what I mean is, is that it feels to you a
bigger issue than they would find it (either telling
or not telling). It’s easy to create worries about
what other people think, when usually we are the
ones that think it to be a big deal. And if you
don’t say anything, keep in mind that you are under
no obligation to tell them anything. They don’t
really have a basis to judge you anyway. Think of
it this way: who are they to judge; they are not
perfect and have their own problems. Remember we
are all in it together, and no one is really alone.
SJune 13, 2009 at 1:00 am #31565
On both this post and the previous one about
the girl, there a number of things I could say,
but I think here I’ll just remain silent and
provide a space for you to tell your story.
I’m probably talking too much anyway. 🙂
Only one small suggestion–don’t allow yourself
to be drawn into her drama. It’ll pull you off
your center. Do what you feel is right for you.
You are of course always welcome to share
anything you wish to share in the future about
your health, relationships, etc. I’ll hold a
space for sharings.
StevenJune 13, 2009 at 1:33 am #31567June 13, 2009 at 1:35 am #31569June 24, 2009 at 10:40 am #31571
The Inspired Spirits are the Solitary Spirits of the universe of universes. As spirits they are very much like the Solitary Messengers except that the latter are distinct personalities. When a Solitary Messenger is near an Inspired Trinity Spirit, he is conscious of a qualitative indication of such a divine presence and also of a very definit quantitative registration which enables him actually to know the classification or number of the Spirit presence or presences. When a Solitary Messenger is in a planet whose inhabitants are indwelt by Thought Adjusters, he is aware of a qualitative excitation in his detection-sensitivity to spirit presense. In such instances there is no quantitative excitation, only a qualitative agitation.
-TUB, Paper 19, 5. Inspired Trinity Spirits
By day, Jeffrey Manchester spent his six months on the lam as a generous churchgoing volunteer known as John, who gave toys to kids and told his new girlfriend and church congregation that he had a secret government job, police said.
At night, he was fugitive hiding and playing in Toys “R” Us, making his lair in a cubbyhole in the bicycle display, racing remote-control cars on the roof after hours and riding bikes around the store for exercise, said Sgt. Katherine Schemreif of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg, N.C., police. He even monkeyed with employees’ work schedules, and his diet included stolen bay food, she said.
-San Francisco Cronicle-SFGate, Tuesday, January 11, 2005: Escaped robber returns to annals of weird crime, cops say ‘Roofman’ lived large in store
Sorry Steven and Swedich Dragon, but is this so called small talk what you are doin’?
I myself have tried to learn it, but I could never master it.
For me it’s logic comes from the body chemical and the cure could be achieved through internal recapitulation (I don’t promote Carlos Castaneda, but that activity which he also taught).
For me it’s also very much what I think what the psychoanalytic session is about. But who’s the patient and who’s doin’ the analysis?
Comrade H, F.B.I.
Ps. I’m sorry again for my broken English.
There’s a grey horse standing still as a soldier climbs in the saddle for one last ride. As the rain pours off his hat(#) you can see the shadows of the past written in his eyes. He’s the last rebel, last rebel on the road.
I sing the body electric; the armies of those I love engirth me, and I engirth them; they will not let me off till I go with them, respond to them, and discorrupt them,and charge them full with the charge of the soul.
(#)(…the Higgs field has a non-trivial self-interaction, like the Mexican hat potential, which leads to spontaneous symmetry breaking…)June 24, 2009 at 10:42 am #31573
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