March 5, 2008 at 5:46 am #27791
I am reading after a long absence comments below recalling old friends and realizing how lonely this path has been for me. Of course this is in relation to the incredible communities developing all over the world around yoga and of course buddhist groups.
I don’t feel alone. I mean I connect deeply with intelligences of nature and bodymind and there is a huge company to listen and attempt to center.ANd O f course I have smatterings of taoist friends around the world.
I have taken life off for the past year or so. In this time I am building layers of kan and li inside. Moving up to stellar and back down and then up again. Up and down don’t do it justice.
I can slow things down when solo though I cannot in a group. When I went to visit deep earth in Greater I realized I had scurried past real fear and childhood beliefs the first two times. Probably went unconscious the second time as I don’t even recall the meditation.
This time I stopped and started the cd and felt the thought form keeping me from descending. it dissolved and that one lynchpin made the pieces come together.
In the discussion about moon or earth in Greatest I realized this wasn’t the lynchpin this time but the spinning pyramids. in this meditation which I slowed down and repeated a lot I entered the taurus with full awareness and this opened up the living planets and stars to me and saturn landed below my heart. The sun began to smile at me as I am by the ocean each day to welcome him/her.
And when emotions rise that seem to destroy the internal peace i realize this is such a huge practice and is it any wonder I am stirred up on so many levels? And i do not have many to share this with. Not the stimulation at least. The results, yes. I have found good friends who listen and touch.
One practice i want to pass on to you came to me recently. When I am moving in any chi kung form or internal practice i say to myself “ok, do this 25% less”. If I persist internal space opens and the efforting which is hiding the underneath layers holds form while I can feel. Most of the time it is old hauntings returning. The heart opening and reviewing the past. Issues of love and loss.
I lessen my resistance to this by 25% and they blossom and release and reveal such inner beauty and breath. Even if only for the moment…what else is there…and I release 25% of pushing for perfection and find myself floating in chi and the kan and li’s seem to arrange themselves like master composers.
I am back to solo Sexual practices again. ALso fusion. Basic pearl building. it is like I never learned it at all. Not quite but you know what I mean? layers I couldn’t integrate before humbling me. Making me feel good too. Now I have inner earth. I have saturn and the sun in a new way.
I wonder if what Ineed is a girlfriend…hehe. 25% less serious would feel just fine.
I wonder if there will ever be an explosion of taoist centers as there are yogic? WHile so much of yoga is physical there are quite a number of energetic and transformational communities and teachers from vedic stock.
I look forward to the summer though and some community again that feeds me in a different way. barryMarch 5, 2008 at 10:39 am #27792
if you want more community, just create it! that is how I started the summer retreats.
Mass consciousness is more comfortable with masses, i.e. group work. Group work is good and necessary foundation for most. But higher work always involved facing the personal aloneness and then transcending it – but making the larger collective that is embraced REAL.
You cannot take a community with you when you depart. You can only internalize its essence, that will travel well, wherever you are.
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