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Hello wendy I have been looking at this practises alitle.
Doing the meditation on original cavity
And have done the nine jade dragon exercises during the summer.I had the books for a long time but hadn’t red all of them. The story of the bamboo imortal ch 7 was something that realy talked to me. Beacase the practises made him cure a wery bad kidney weakness.
So perhaps threre is wery greate possibilities to use the sexual energy to cure my own illnesses.
Buy the way have you red the book “The art of the bedchamber, with womens solo meditaion texts in it? It says it contains all the writen taoist classic texts known about taoist sexology! Not shore if it’s true beacase it’s rather thin only about 300 pages.
Good read anyway.
Regards S D
I did read the White tigeress, which I found interesting placed in the context of history. As you maybe remember I am not exactly a reader, so I prefer to read my own inner book and come up with very interesting and personal sexual practices. Most too delicate to explain here openly.
And I believe in mutual empowering, and I believe in love which implies respect. In case of your and Stevens old relationships I understand those two elements were not explored equallyBut when I went to bed last night I was cold, the heating broke down and this will be my second winter without heating in my bedroom and since my partner and I broke up I sleep by myself without a natural heater next to me to keep me warm, at least part of the time 😉
My feet and outer layers were freezing and I spontaneous shifted in you, feeling how you must feel and the sadness that was connected with it, it felt like a wide moat (canal) where you were out of reach (or keep yourself out of reach) of love and warmth.
I am not going into any psychological explanations here.So use the cold as your friend… I will explain how I did it to give you a pathway which you can explore further by yourself.
I used the cold to arrouse me, when having deep shivers I focus them on sensitive areas, like nipples, no difference for a man, and start to rub them intensly combined with the focus on the warmth on the inside, which you must have somewhere, your organs must generate some warmth. So combining physical outer rubbing and inner awareness of warmth inside yourself, use heart glow…think of your new friend.
I don’t think I have to explain more on this… no need to go for ejaculation since you want to enhance and expand your energy more to the surface.The cold is NOT your enemy, make peace with it, question it!
Ok I’m remember you weren’t the bookish type. I’m completely or maybe was beacose I nowdays not have so much patient with books only from time to time. Earlier I red several book each week. Mostly science and psychology.
I wasn’t familiar with the word “wide moat (canal)” and laught at it when I looked it up in the lexicon.
WENDY WROTE
“””I used the cold to arrouse me, when having deep shivers I focus them on sensitive areas, like nipples, no difference for a man, and start to rub them intensly combined with the focus on the warmth on the inside, which you must have somewhere, your organs must generate some warmth. So combining physical outer rubbing and inner awareness of warmth inside yourself, use heart glow…think of your new friend.
I don’t think I have to explain more on this… no need to go for ejaculation since you want to enhance and expand your energy more to the surface.The cold is NOT your enemy, make peace with it, question it! “””
COMMENTS:
ohh gosh Wendy you are realy not making it easy for me. When cold it realy is hurting me. And this exercise feels wery dificult. But perhaps I remember it next time I have the problem. Usually I manage to not have this problems beacase I know how to handle myself. But if during the day beeing in somewhat cold areas the problems is back.I do some practises from time to time. With hot suns under the bubbling springs and sometimes with a sun over my navel area.
The basic thing I do when having this problems is raising the heat in the room take another blancet and drink a cup of hot milk with a piece of garlic and some spices in it. And from time to time also look at some porn. All this helps a litle bit. Often though I feel realy sad when I’m cold and it’s extremly difficult to feel some love in the heart during this times.
Actually beeing with a woman helps a litle bit beacase the arosal have some heat in it. I have tried it some years ago, during one summer.
Although your aproach is much better than the porn stuff. This kind of shit I’m realy want to stop completely but have never manage completely only for quite long time no, beacase I feel how bad it is realy. And another matter is I feel wery much sympathy with the girls and see from time to time how they suffer thrue the pictures. I’m on my way to be a greate enemy to the whole big porn industry.
So next time I go and try your way instead!
Thanks for your sympathy. Sometimes people need to be realy cold themselves to imagine how bad this could be. Sometimes it’s just completely impossible for some to understund this. I can understund it but I don’t like it and have a tendency over time to skip the contact with such people.
Thanks Wendy for thinking about me hope you have the possibility to do something about your home to get rid of the problem.
By the way it was good to speek about this with you I still remeber your talking with your daughter about this with not have the courage to be with woman. And would like to ad, even thouhg what you to said then was true, maybe not a fouteen year old girl have the capability to see how special sircumstances or life situations can make a man or woman behave in strange ways.
Sincerely S D
YOU SAID: Often though I feel realy sad when I’m cold and it’s extremly difficult to feel some love in the heart during this times.
I SAY:
Yes, that was exactly the feeling and the problem at the same time.
You are a very sensitive person…SD:It haven’t just been a process of appreciating myself for me. Realy when I was more ill than I’m today there was no point in trying to have an relationship beacase I didn’t hardly have the strenght to do anything appreaciating myself or not and I realy needed to just focus on trying to cure myself. I was realy bad dude. Today I think I apreaciate myself quite alot. But I have low self esteem in this part with relationships. It’s not a fixed thing though I working on it and it on it’s way to get better.
S: Well this sounds fine to me. The fact that you are not as ill today
and the fact that certain things have improved can show you that it is
something you can fix–and I’m sure you will.SD: For me this process or similar processes with the girl I had a relationship is ower since quite a long time. I do have good fiends toyday and I’m happy most of the time. I feel a litle bit like you might read into my story things that realy have happened to youself but not necessarily fits into mine.
S: No, I was relating to the energy drainage bit–not that your relationship
was similar. Mine was a completely different situation. In your case
you felt that your energy was being drained away by her use of sexual practices,
and in mine, it was being drained away from her emotional tactics.
In other words, I was letting you know that I understand the
energy drainage stuff, and was relating how it manifested itself in
my case.Previously S: The point is this:
Sometimes intense traumas can bury themselves within you,
and act as a continual drain on your energy. With enough
patience, time, and self-love, these things can diminish over time
and your energy can return. In other words, in your case,
I wouldn’t be surprised that if that as you resolve
more and more of these internal issues, that your energy
will come back. Just having positive reasons and passion
to live, along with being happy with who you are, can act as
a battery to propel you forward into a more energetic and
positive state.SD: Yes I believe this is true. A least to some extent. I have work quite alot with this part during my illness. Mostly with kind of positive thinking and working with self esteem and changing bad thoughts about myself into good ones. I remember after working with this for about three years my profesional healpher did get quite surprised when noticing my cold problem was still there and still hard to deal with when sleeping at other places than my own. It was at my sisters house during christmas. And I had a realy hard time that night beacase of my cold syndrome. It just this it doesn’t seem to be such a big connection betwean the psychological and the illness. I can feel perfectly fine on the psychological plane but the illness is still there with full strenght.
My ordinary doctor have been looking at the psychological part as the main reason as I see it, beacase the blood result doesn’t show anything. But for instance of the persons with hypothyroidism they are just able to detect about 70% of the people with the illness. I did wisit an endocronoligst telling me it could be this anyway. So today this is my main line of trying to cure myself.S: On the psychological front, sometimes you can deal with the 10% that
is conscious and feel fine, but it is the 90% subconscious that is still
operating in the old pattern. This is often hard to fix, but through
patience, time, and internal work, some progress can be made. In the
meantime, when you visit family/friends, maybe they can be somewhat
accommodating for you and turn the heat up while you’re there. I’m
sure they don’t want your visit to be unpleasant for you! Also,
if you get cold, have you tried taking a long, really hot shower?
I’ve noticed that when I do that, the heat can really get inside
and you can feel really warm for awhile anyway. Granted this
is not a long term solution, and may only last a little while,
but it might be a quick short-term fix if your symptoms seem
to be flaring up and you are feeling really cold–despite
having turned the heat up.SD: Still though I am thinking about a couse that might be psychological. Actually to put together some of the stuff from Mantak Chias books have given me a clue. If you have red in the Tao Yin book about the balance betwean the heart and the kidney. Emotionally betwean love and fear. This is also connected to the adrenals=kidney yang. Might be a deeper problem in me perhaps from problem from my mother in early years having problem with giving love. If it is an inbalance her the psoas will get short and I have kind of problem with psoas. ( Not huge but kind of) The psoas is also connected to cold in the body! From Mantak Chias book Tan tien qigong.
S: This sounds reasonable, and would be worth exploring further.
SD: There is also a connection betwean the adrenals and rooting. The main psychological issue with peaple with adrenal fatigue is to root themselves, this problem often disapears when the adrenals get fixed. I sweat alot when doing iron shirt for instance. I’m on my way to increase such practises in my daily exercises.
I put most of my effort today on the thyroxin and adrenal treatment. But in my universal tao practise I trie to do something, to exercises daily, to strenghtening the kideys. Haw started a group therapy with painting but had to stop momentarily beacase the adrenal fatigue treatment is expensive. Working with my relationship issue also.S: It sounds like you’re trying the right things. It may take some time.
It does sound as if your condition has improved through time,
so hang in there.previously S:What I recommend is to practice a lot of self-love, ask
yourself what it is you really want out of life, and
then allow yourself to accept the truth that you
deserve it . . . because you do!SD: One of my favorite exercises is the inner smile sometimes it makes me shining of radiant love and happiness real nice. Yes perhaps some psychological issues is the main cause to this problem. If the treatment withe the medicines doesn-t work I think I will do the group theraphy regularily and I think I will go to an schaman and see where it leeds. Perhaps I manage to have a relationship also and get the opurtunity to look into this issues deeper.
S: Yeah, the Inner Smile is favorite of mine also.
In complicated situations as yours, often a multiple approach is
what is needed–which is exactly what you’re doing.previously S: Realistically, if she loves you she’ll understand. Moreover, as
far as temperature goes, put on some thermal underwear/undershirts
on–a couple layers if need be–to remedy the problem. Also,
if you are in a bed with the girl, I can think of plenty of
things you can do (with her) to keep you warm, if not hot 🙂SD: You are underestimating the problem with my coldness. If it was enogh to put on some extra clodes then I should think the problem is partly solved. Actualy putting on more clouds and more blankets make it worse. It has to be the air that is hot and the clothes and the blanket rather thin. Otherwise the cold from the air is going deeper into the body while sleeping at it realy hurts alot. Of course it helps a while to put on more blakets over the body and over the head so you just have a hole to breath throuhg but then you are getting warm in some sense to warm and sweat alot, the air is still cold and go even deeper into the body. This is what happens if I not have enough warm air around me or if I’m sleeping in a room with air conditioning or a closed window that is not completely new and wery well isolated. Actually there was a time I had it like this every night no matter how much clothes or how hot air. As soon as I fell to sleep if I could at all I woke up cpmpletely wet from sweat and with a much hurting coldness. Could hurt as much as it is possible to be aware of I think. This was the torture. I lasted for about three years and did get worse if I sometimes wisited someone beacase they not had as warm as I needed at home. I haven’t been sleeping at other places than my own for three years now. I don’t wan’t to feel this coldness again I have had enough. It’s like if you had been tortured for years and not wish to wisit the torture chamber afterwards. If it wasn’t psychological from the beginning it will be after a time. So today I have desided I’m not sleeping at other places. It will be the first time in three years when I go and wisit the dr aboud at my sisters place in february though.
S: I’m sorry to hear about that!
If, at least right now, you feel you need the air to be hot, do
you think that family/friends could accommodate you when you visit
and turn the heat up for you? Most people want their visitors
to feel comfortable and welcome.SD: This is part of the story that holds me back from being with a woman. But gosh I raly should like to be able just to sleep together with someone I like much. This is something I long for even more than the sex part of it. To just wake up togehter and make some breakfist should be greate.
S: Maybe if you explain your situation, she would be more than happy to
turn the heat up when you come over. Then you’d be able to do this.
Or alternately maybe you could have her come to your place? Usually
there is always some solution that two people can use remove such
barriers.SD: For me its more and more clear that its much about the cold problem that holds me back even though I have had the feeling there might be someting else also. But today after thinking about it I belive its this cold problem that is the main cause. It holds me back and I just don’t take any initiatives. If it is that I’m seriously in love I get afraid. And if it is someone I just want to have sex with the embarasement and the problem with my body seems to make me belive I prefer to do nothing.
S: Even as serious as problem as you have, I don’t think you
need to let it be a barrier. You may find that if you share your
problem with the person that you love, that not only would
she want to do things to help accommodate you, but it could
provide an even stronger bond as the two of you work together
to find a solution that will allow the two of you to be
together. Plus, as far as the sex part goes, you’re going
to get pretty heated, right? 🙂Best wishes to your situation,
StevenOh, I’m so sorry to hear about your heater!
I hope that you’ll be able to get it fixed.I liked reading about your exploration of cold.
Thanks for sharing.>>And from time to time also look at some porn.
>>All this helps a litle bit. Often though I
>>feel realy sad when I’m cold and it’s extremly
>>difficult to feel some love in the heart during this times.
>>Although your aproach is much better than the porn stuff.
>>This kind of shit I’m realy want to stop completely but
>>have never manage completely only for quite long time no,
>>beacase I feel how bad it is realy. And another matter is
>>I feel wery much sympathy with the girls and see from time
>>to time how they suffer thrue the pictures. I’m on my way
>>to be a greate enemy to the whole big porn industry.Yeah, I would consider staying away from it actually.
It may actually make your problem worse.I understand how it can be appealing when you’re
either sexually aroused or you’re feeling lonely,
but I think that overall it ends up sucking away
your energy. Moreover, I think it ends up
increasing sadness because the visual stimulation
you see is not a real emotional connection, and
deep down it just amplifies the feelings of
being separated from true emotional connections
with others.All of the above is just personal opinion from
personal experience, but I think that there is
some truth here.In my opinion, usually the desire to look at porn
isn’t so much about sexual desire as it is
a desperate attempt to fight the emotional
void you feel inside and the inner yearning
to be close to someone else. The thing is
that porn doesn’t provide that; it’s empty
and fools you into thinking that you’re getting
what you want while amplifying the void.The next time you feel the urge to look at porn,
I suggest thinking about this and analyzing what
you really are wanting at that moment on a
fundamental level. Then, if indeed it is
the emotional connection you are craving,
try either connecting with some friends–via
going out and doing something, or if later at night,
via a telephone. Another thing you can do is
to go and do an extended Inner Smile meditation
instead. Oftentimes, you’ll feel a lot better
afterward, and find that it was that feeling that
you were really looking for.Steven
I am learning to make friends with it, taking cold showers when I feel strong enough. Yet respecting my kidneys, it does drain them when too much.
I once went swimming in the sea end of October, for quiet a bit and did primordial afterwards on the beach being wet and cold. Man, I suffered afterwards, completely cold and drained, hypothermia.
Cold can be a good teacher…
So no need to feel sorry for me, it is my choice not fixing it and I do have an electric heater in weak moments…
Thx Steven for your suport!
There are people that helps me with my cold problem and there are people that don’t mostly beacose they haven’t understod how bad it is or not believing what I tell them. Sometimes I don’t want to take the subject up beacause it’s not always I want to speak about it especially not with people that not are believing me and sometimes not with others either. It’s always different, but the ones that cares make me happy!
Yes I also believe in sertain solutions. It’s mostly me that have to deal with myself in a situation with a partner that I feel is dificult. I feel wery vulnrable in this situations.
Then there is the normal things going on betwean people that meet echother also. It’s not always easy even though if you are healthy. Can you tell me it is easy to meet someone in your own life and start something seerious?
Sincerely S D
>>I once went swimming in the sea end of October,
>>for quiet a bit and did primordial afterwards
>>on the beach being wet and cold. Man, I suffered
>>afterwards, completely cold and drained, hypothermia.Wow that sounds intense.
Although probably not that cold, I swam in the
“Blue Hole” at Heavenly Mountain early last summer, and
that water was ice cold. It was a whole body experience.
After I got out and stopped violently shaking, I
noticed a kind of rebound effect, and suddenly it
felt as if my kidneys were on fire! Extreme heat
from the area . . .>>Cold can be a good teacher…
Definitely.
About 10 years ago, I almost drowned from water-induced
hypothermia. I had been swimming in moderately cold
water in a northern lake, and I decided to swim out
further into deeper water. Ultimately, a big mistake,
as there was a current of ice cold water flowing below
the surface. It struck my body, and it froze up.
I realized I was in trouble, and started swimming
back to shore. Very rapidly my muscles shut down
as though I were becoming paralyzed. I started to
not be able to make my arm break the surface of the
water. At the last moment when I couldn’t do it
any longer, my toe caught some sand on the bottom and
I was able to struggle my way into the shallows and
get out. When I did get out, my skin was a deep
blue–literally. I felt terrible for a long time.>>So no need to feel sorry for me, it is my choice
>>not fixing it and I do have an electric heater
>>in weak moments…Oh, I see. Well I wish you much success on your explorations then! 🙂
Best,
StevenYes Wendy I’m a wery sensitive person. But maybe not because I’m not shore if I follow what you meen by this?
Thx Steven again
I’m completely with you. It’s wery unbalancing. The sexuality gets stimulation but the heart doesn’t. Sometimes I have noticed it seems to give me energy though. This has been someting to look at and experience with. Buth how you feel at an emotional level after using this stimuli is often or nerly almost quite or real bad. I have noticed I have developed an adiction to it and working nowdays to not use it at all. But sometimes I’m there again. For the moment I’m in a 100 days without ejaculation and without porn period and see what happens. I try to have one such period each winter and plan to continue with the nine jade dragons at the summer. Have noticed that my sperm is a bit watery and try to fix that to. It’s a sign of general weakness. Thats one part of a multiple solution way of my illness. But sometimes why building this extra sexual energy you get quite horny and I think the girls some how notice it beacase they get atracted to you when doing this.
I was with one of my student’s for instance while she was looking at my hairy chest and I felt some enegy wave just wild pushing up to the head. I’m just also wery sensitive to the womens signals when doing this. Every sex experience is better without porn. You also get quite hard with your sexuality and the signals when you are looking at porn. The girls not like that part I think. It’s beacase you develope a sexuality without a heart and without the humor and sensuality. This is my reasons for working against the urge to look at porn. Sorry to say I haven’t completely managed jet but I feel closer and closer to it. Just not like it and not like the way people are handled like objects ore consuming sexuality or comersial sexuality.
Yes I think it could harm or stop me from completely curing myself also. This subject is one aspect that realy interest me nowdays. Not just porn but everything that has to do with sexual energy and spirituality. It would realy be interesting to know more about this subject of how people will be afected by porn. I even think we on this site or other cultivators as well have something to learn the rest of the society about this questions. It seems to be a bigger and bigger problem if you look at how huge this industry realy are. How does this afect the humans in general? How does it afect the subtle energies that is intricately interwoven with who we realy are? What does it to relationships? How are we afected as a society at large?
What are the good efects of it is also interesting and adictions as well. People that use narcotica and porn together is also common I belive. Making everything worse.
>>There are people that helps me with my cold problem
>>and there are people that don’t mostly beacose they
>>haven’t understod how bad it is or not believing what
>>I tell them. Sometimes I don’t want to take the subject
>>up beacause it’s not always I want to speak about it
>>especially not with people that not are believing me
>>and sometimes not with others either. It’s always
>>different, but the ones that cares make me happy!If you can spend time with the people that are more
supportive, and less/zero with those that aren’t, then
that in itself can be a big boost.>>It’s mostly me that have to deal with myself in a
>>situation with a partner that I feel is dificult.
>>I feel wery vulnrable in this situations.Yeah, but even if you didn’t have this particular
problem, there would be others. No one is flawless.
Part of the dance is to share these things with
a new partner, be vulnerable, and watch the bond
grow as you support each other.>>Then there is the normal things going on
>>betwean people that meet echother also.
>>It’s not always easy even though if you are healthy.
>>Can you tell me it is easy to meet someone in your
>>own life and start something seerious?No, it’s never easy. That’s for sure.
There has to be a mutual attraction, and
a common compatibility of personalities and hearts–
not to mention the mechanics of meeting and dating . . .As for myself personally, I’m currently happy being
single. If something came along, I’d definitely nurture
it; but at the same time, I’m perfectly happy without
one.My best wishes to you,
StevenAlmost all sensitive people I know, including myself have/had an earth problem. Depending on what we encounter in life, the challenges we get, the support we get or don’t get from others, and the ability or neglect to strengthen our inner earth by practice and insights, we can either lose more of the already weak earth and weaken ourself even more or become stronger and more healthy, not volunerable for the energies, but instead being able to work with them in a grounded and healthy way.
In my dark days I had no energy left, felt drained all day, and was it not for my mother who helped me with my three young children and a household I don’t know what I had done (allowing her help). I was without sufficient earth, went through major energy shifts without knowing what had happened and felt very lonely and desperate with that.
In those days I refused sex with my partner because I couldn’t handle his stress mixed with my drained energy. I felt it would drain me even more. So I put him in hold for more than 9 months to find my inner strength again.
Sex without the heart is a draining situation too, same with porn, if you have a weak earth using porn it will drain you in a subtle way. Reading you used quiet a lot of porn in the past on your already drained energy is not healthy.And like you mentioned other people, like your former girlfriend or energies can drain you from energy also.
Of course any actual physical illness aside.
Did you ever had yourself checked on entities?
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