March 9, 2007 at 10:59 am #21532
I am in the midst of a doubting process, I will explain and invite you to answer what you would do…
Months ago a Mongolian woman came into my shop asking for work, she explained with a terrible and little language, that she gave Japanese massages. She ended up in Belgium, in fact on her way to Paris, to work there in a massage salon. A man who she met briefly here on her passage to France promised her a marriage and a safe place for her two girls who are still in Mongolia… you know that story…
To make it short, I gave her work, so she could earn her own money, the man has huge debts and is only able to give her a roof. He hoped that she would work for him, marry him and be a nice wife for him. I warned her not to marry him and when time past she decided thank god not to marry. She started to realize her situation.
Despite the fact she is in an illegal situation here I helped as much as I could. Providing work (in an illegal way) so she could earn her own money to go back.
I know I already earned my seat in heaven with this, she is thanking god every day that I help her in making money so she can go back to her daughters.
My question is: I know she really would like to take a new laptop with her for her daughters because they are double in price in Mongolia. At this very moment she has enough money plus some extra to pay her plane ticket back. (She already put money on her bank account in Mongolia for when she is back and taking care of her daughters again).
My partner and I talked about paying her ticket, what would result that she has money for her laptop. But because of our own situation at this moment, going into a new phase in our lives, which is a pretty demanding financial situation for us, I feel a tension.
Did I give enough already… or just give her the money for her ticket, which is the price of my retreat with Michael in a few days, and for which I have to scratch every penny out of my own pocket, because of the choices I have made,
so no matter my personal situation…
A laptop or a retreat :))
So seekers of the truth… what would you do?March 9, 2007 at 11:37 am #21533
Exactly, you are the type of man I feared she would end up with if she had no help and no money.
Reason number one to give her the money … thank youMarch 9, 2007 at 12:13 pm #21535
From the tone of your message Wendy, it sounds like you have given plenty. The laptop, while useful, would not be an immediate necessity if shippable at a later date, and that’s only if the laptop is a real need. Also, the laptop doesn’t necessarily have to be a new one. Lots of good used ones available.
Though simplistic, an old training adage might also be helpful: When in doubt, leave it out.
Good Luck!March 9, 2007 at 1:14 pm #21537
I think you should go to the retreat – the guilt will give you lots to explore!
Really, you have done so much for the woman, and what do they need a laptop for?
Then again, how many times will you have done this same retreat?
Then again again, maybe you are using this as an excuse to avoid some issues that will come up in the retreat?
Then again again again, maybe she has pulled you off your centre and you are looking outside for answers that can only come from within?
ChrisMarch 9, 2007 at 1:32 pm #21539
You should go to the retreat.
Everything you’ve done so far has been honorable.
You’ve helped a woman in dire need.
However, helping her get a discount on a laptop while
putting yourself at a disadvantage is not.
Since you can’t really afford it is not honorable to yourself.
My opinion (said with the utmost love) is that you
are crossing the boundary between being helpful and
StevenMarch 9, 2007 at 1:55 pm #21541
It is not a material/physical question, more a spiritual one… what serves who best… I know I gave her a lot, in fact I gave her the possibility to be somebody, not another refugee but a human being, she is honored for her work and her personality both with money and respect.
Why I did it and why I would do it:
1. I honor her courage to survive in a complete strange country, a complete strange language and yet the inner strength to make her way… I honor that strength
2. A laptop would open her window to the world, as it does with me.
3. I encourage any person who is good/has a nice heart, which she has… in all the months we spend together she never took advantage, was always grateful and despite her pain of not having her children with her she carried it with grace.
4. I want her children to be proud of her, that she brings this with her as a trophee of her courage, not as a failure.
I already gave her a very nice ring with real stones for Christmas, which made her very happy, because I know how important this is in her country, to look good, to have nice and expensive materials, it increases your status, as a single mother with two daughters I want to support her in her attempt to lift herself.
As for me… you guys are the best… even without a retreat I am blessed!
And your comments are still welcome I feel something cooking, see what comes out of it….March 9, 2007 at 2:05 pm #21543
If she really wants to have a laptop at a discount, why can’t she stay around a little longer and have the money herself to do it?
This would enable her more, because she would be doing it herself.
But, of course, it is your decision–and really it appears you’ve already made it,
you’re just looking for confirmation.
Opinions said with the utmost love for you,
SteveMarch 9, 2007 at 5:12 pm #21545
I’d stop thinking about what is the right or best thing to do and how to do it, and determine what I really WANT (heart/gut). Not what I want “to do” but what I WANT from the opportunity. Then I’d sit with the feeling of having it and open to allowing it to happen in the most benevolent way. Not too technically either. Mostly instinctual.
Obviously you know that our thinking messes up our possibilities so once you release that mode you are free to attract something most fulfilling.
I think you want both to go to the workshop and to provide things for your Mongolian friend. So, as I see it, your challenge is- “How big can I make myself so I get everything I will most enjoy?”
Then, I”d surrender it all and do whatever I felt like doing in each moment as I went along and looked at the results that got created- how I FEEL as it all unfolds.
Love, AMarch 9, 2007 at 5:12 pm #21547March 9, 2007 at 6:42 pm #21549
”I think you want both to go to the workshop and to provide things for your Mongolian friend”
Exactly, I opened the doorway for both of us… why choosing, there is plenty of everything in this universe…
my main feeling and concern is that she will be united with her daughters after 7 long months, and I consider giving her a free shopping in my store, so she can take gifts for her family and friends, something I see is important to her.
I want her to be a winner, not a victim.
I already gave her one of my Lao Tzu statues that hang around on my desk, she liked that for a relative.
I give myself a retreat because I deserve that as well. She will be leaving to Mongolia when I am sitting on a retreat chair… both on the next journey of our lives…March 9, 2007 at 9:18 pm #21551
I’ll be laughing about this for the next 15 minutes, quietly because my 8-year-old is sitting in the room.
Only on the healing tao board….I really marvel at our lack of political correctness here….are you the reincarnation of Ron Jeremy?March 9, 2007 at 10:47 pm #21553
“I want her to be a winner, not a victim.”
That’s interesting. I wondered how you were viewing her. What role she is playing for you. I think if you see her as the creator of her life and not a victim of it your choices might be easier to make.
“I give myself a retreat because I deserve that …”
Hey! I don’t like you saying that! What are you? A seal that gets a treat when she performs correctly!?
Smiling a loving challenge over your way…
AlexanderMarch 10, 2007 at 1:12 am #21555
This is the same guy who was quoting Genesis in another thread. What a joke!!March 10, 2007 at 1:43 am #21557
Did I say joke? I apologize your a cartoon character!March 10, 2007 at 2:43 am #21559
I checked the thread I was refering to and your right it wasn’t Genesis at all, it was the Gospel of St John, my mistake. It still doesn’t hide the fact that your kind of a, you know…joke! Hey you should try Qigong fundamentals 1 offered by Michael Winn. The six healing sounds would be of great help to you. That is after you’ve sought psychiatric help.
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