December 24, 2007 at 5:13 pm #26713
I have recently immersed myself in the new set of kan and li meditations Michael has generated and want to give my early responses.
This past summer I met a woman and while our circumstances weren’t favorable for a substantial relationship we professed our attraction and appreciation of each other. It was sweet.
However over the subsequent days, weeks and then months my meditations were filled with her presence on a very sexual level. At first I imagined it was a heightened masturbation fantasy but through e-mail found she was experiencing an astral part of me entering her bed at night.
I have the blessings of sabbatical and retreat at this time and so focused all my efforts on using the energies released for growth. It was hard. The personality wanted to take action. Wanted to make something familiar out of it but the situation was clearly defined by physical inaccessibility which enhanced the soul polarity.
Over the months the work crystallized as her energies stimulated and helped birth in me a reawakening to the feminine inside. Without her body around- her earth- but with the intense sexual soul connection I was forced to open to the embodiment of spiritual love.
I got this fully upon listening to Tom Kenyon’s Songs of Magdalen which I highly recommend as an aural resonance to the androgynous soul from the feminine voice. He channels the voice of Mary in a 4 octave range.
I broke off contact with this woman as I felt we had completed some part of the spiral together- I never really understood it, so mysterious- and immediately my lowest back gave way. My support.
I turned to Michael’s new production knowing it was exploring soul sex but more important teaching how to sustain our connection to the core channel.
In my exchanges with this woman I noticed the sexual charge coming through was much more than my body could handle. It pounded into me and I didn’t have all the channels open. Of course the new energies forced me to discover ways in to open and I returned to all of the first formula- banging bones, standing, deep healing etc.
I sang to open the throat and voice, I wrote to express myself in poetry, I studied other traditions and their approach to sexual energies and this sort of relating.
Only when I began the meditations could I remain long enough in center to grow this new influence. Grow the feminine in concert with my maleness.
Michael does a wonderful job progressing from material already covered like Pangu, Wudang circulation,Lesser Kan and Li so by the time of the main meditations I felt totally prepared.
While I have tasted each of the first 4 kan and lis and digested as much as I could there was something missing. It had to do with sustaining a more substantial earth center so the energies coming in would saturate into many channels and not get stuck in just the psychic ones up top.
I needed a more skillful approach to settle into center as the practices demand a lot from us.
After a month of immersion I have extreme responses. On the one hand I feel closer to my source and the breath of in and out from here. On the other hand my body took me into pains and dysfunctions already present but where they were a low murmuring they rose into a symphony of discomfort.
Also on the mental/emotional levels I experienced the same strong polarity of experience. Mental anguish, terror, hopelessness followed with bliss,exuberance and joy.
I contacted Michael and as usual he answered me the same day and counseled how to manage the process and also helped me realize that this is powerful medicine.
The techniques integrated and presented have a sly way of entering through the cracks patterned resistance sets up. Before I knew it I was solid, whole and flowing. If the price to pay is the screamings of an old psychic set up in me than so be it.
Of course I tend to do things to extreme. I don’t think the techniques themselves are presented in a fashion that stimulates extreme responses. On the contrary, the supports built into the techniques create a safeguard all along the way of balance and harmony.
It opens up all the other practices for me to revisit and deepen. It keeps me fresh and the formulas alive and growing.
It also is helping me integrate the feminine into my body along with the sexual.
If you have some foundation in this work I highly recommend trying it on. The meditation doesn’t leave you, it lingers I think due to its inherent balance and inclusiveness. BarryDecember 24, 2007 at 10:33 pm #26714
so very nicely centred, grounded, earthy.
Congratulations, and thanks for sharing your new journey.
And Merry Xmas!!!December 25, 2007 at 10:39 am #26716
Yeah what a year…whew… it continues as I go to Thailand to support a Yoga Teacher training this winter/spring. There for 6 months. Then back to Heavenly mountain. Perhaps I will meet you this year.
How are you doing with the kan and li? Have you been practicing? Perhaps better over e-mail but I am interested in how you are integrating. Stay well my snowy friend…barryDecember 27, 2007 at 12:11 am #26718
Wow, your experiences sound intense.
I can’t even begin to comment!
As you develop the solidity that you speak of,
I’d be curious to know how your practice
evolves from here.
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