On Loving the Death of My Wife (Sent to eList Dec. 21)

Ok straight talk. This is an internal issue thats why I say some aspects of your self can get out voted. Life force god in neutral. Your soul heart-mind and body need to get together and talk about what is best. What serves you and most importantly life, they can find common ground I feel. God gets blamed allot but it is peoples souls that mainly decided a path while in the early heaven state, and most decide to ride it out mainly blaming or praising god for there destiny. Life does not start at birth. Thats my straight to cents.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKu2QaytmrM

Hi Steven, Thanks for asking the question in the first place.

#1

but ignoring signs along the way is a mistake.

The underlying belief here is that you will be unsafe if you do not do something to stay safe. The song means be at peace in the dream for the best results, not ignore reality. It means don’t believe in the things in the dream (the things you think up) because those meanings create experiences other than the sense of peace and oneness that comes from the heart-mind.

#2

The question of “are these practices dangerous” and/or
“are these practices really *effective* for health” are concrete ones that
don’t have anything to do with “understanding the self”.

I am not talking about “understanding” the self. My stuff is not philosophy, it’s alchemy. It is the mind which “understands” things. A mental understanding of sex is not sex. I am talking about being it. What underlies everything is that.

Your mind seems to be trained to disregard information which does not give you the kind of answer you think you should have. You think I misunderstood your question because the answer I gave you doesn’t fit what you want to hear and you shun it or sequester it to the realm of “interest”. (Like a doctor who sees a miracle and has to call it a “spontaneous remission” because he can’t get his mind around it.) What you seem to want to hear is a mental response that you can think about and use, and I am saying that’s completely unneccesary and, actually, a distraction.

The real answer is not there. It appears when you stop strategizing and surrender your egoic sense of self to be in alignment with your Presence which is the true self. (Ego is an idea of what I am. Presence is what I am. Ego thinks. Presence is.)

Mind as a means of coping with universal life forces is subject to failure because it can only reach into the past, its memory, for answers about a future which isn’t present and that’s it’s imagining. So this all reduces down to: Does one want to know/be oneself or does one want to think about it and hunt for it and always be in a drama?

Heart-mind is spirit and person in open communication as the oneness they really are. Thought mind is the act of not seeing reality for what it is but from having projected all kinds of stuff from preferences, beliefs and opinions onto everything so I’m just seeing reflections of my own thoughts about life rather than truth. Truth is visible when I don’t project. It’s always there when I am still.

When you ask a question like “How come they died?” you are asking what they were victimized by. They weren’t victimized. To try to find out what killed them is to try to protect yourself from something -like dying from alchemy. There is an inherent distrust of the process of life in a question like this. The life force knows what it’s doing. It has the whole picture in mind. From down here, we see little of what’s really going on and from the ego’s standpoint, that is unacceptable. From the point of view of “the ideal Realizing Person” it’s all in divine order and there is trust in that. Most of what happens I must be comfortable with not understanding. And even beyond that, releasing all meaning, what I think I know about things, releases the true self from the bondage of the thinking/believing mind. My awareness, freed from the constraints of my mind is free to give me guidance that is free from fear and always is right. It is our actual beliefs about things that keep us from being free.

What I do when a question comes to mind is to ask that the answer be provided if I need to have one.

And I ask the life force to do everything, like to guide all my “practices”, in the highest good of all so the matter is taken completely out of my personal hands and if I need to know or do something, it will come to me. I find this has created miracles in my life. It’s a matter of trust.

#3

I’ve also heard that belief in the HT, that
when you die, if you have not lived long enough to
do all of the internal alchemy techniques to integrate,
then your shen scatter after death.

The shen team form your “self”, and thus while the
shen live on (possibly forming new teams to reincarnate),
you do NOT live on . . . because “you” is only defined
by the assemblage of the team that no longer exists.

In other words, you cease to be and are recycled.

Of course, this is up for debate. : -)

What I experience is that I Am and that that is the real “me”, not an ego structure made up of beliefs and attachments. My awareness is the real me and it’s divine and not subject to death. The personality I use down here is a temporary vehicle for the expression of spirit. That will not last. And if I think I am that, I will definitely be frightened to death of death.

Finally, Jeffrey Yuen: What really becomes immortal is the love you create.

Since love is our true nature, there’s nothing to worry about.

Love,
Alexander

´´From down here, we see little of what’s really going on and from the ego’s standpoint´´

A part of me is in full understanding of Steven´s question, a question that is in many (if not in all being honest).
My very little understanding of the whole picture called ´Life´ is, and in this particular case with Joyce, that she was not able to accomplish something in this life but she is able to accomplish it from the other world. Her death at so called early age was necessary to fulfill her destiny. What she could not accomplish in Life she could in Death… it is sad she felt limited to accomplish it in her living life, we can do a lot of internal work but we are not able to change others if they are not listening, not ready, or if they have another destiny to fulfill.

There is no need to move into more details as it is a private matter and I am just a far away observer. But Joyce is not dead, she is very much alive, just not in the physcial realm we know and she is heading to accomplish that what she wanted for her own earthly life.

Steven, tell the people who ask the question, that she is doing exceptional work from the other realm, she felt limited in her physical earthly life but by dropping the body she is still fulfulling her destiny…. she is doing great work.

And I am very happy she is finally talked about, she is not ´dead´, her work is not finished yet…

Hello Steven:

I would suggest to you that the only thing you have experienced is “life”, “being alive”, that is all we know. This “being alive” or “aliveness” is you, this is your essential nature, your yuan self.

I suggest tao cultivation is to turn your attention or Yi to this, which over time you realize this is your essential nature, your true identity. Passing thoughts and emotions come and go but this “aliveness” is always there, by living and knowing this your attachment to other aspects dissolves, it does not mean you do not have emotions or thoughts, but how you view them changes, they come and go in the terrain of your aliveness. This Aliveness is both you and what you seek, creator and creation, when one realizes this they often giggle, what you seek has always been there.

This “aliveness” is the tao and it is you.

This is what I mean by eternal, its what you have known your entire life, cultivation can now make it a priority, shifting from using one’s Qi, Blood and Jing to finance false attachments, beliefs and patterns.

IMHO this is our destiny, to realize, experience and live from this space and enjoy our changing, dynamic life from this spontaneous space. No more and no less.

Hope this whole dialogue has been some help.

Your friend bagua

Damn it Alexander. I love ya, but you can be real
frustrating at times . . .

#1
>>>The underlying belief here is that you will be unsafe
>>>if you do not do something to stay safe.

There’s a difference between trying to stay safe (out of fear),
and being sensible.

Say you have a pool of several people who do activity X–either
publicly or privately. Then you notice that quite a number
of people in the pool develop kidney failure, say. It is
a natural question to ask, “is there something this group of
people is doing that is causing the development of kidney
failure”?

It’s not a fear/security question.
It’s asking a sensible question upon noticing a pattern.

Although most would say that qigong and/or spiritual practices
are healthy (myself included), consider to illustrate my point
those practices deemed by society as unhealthy–such as smoking
or drinking.

After a noticeable pattern that heavy smokers tend to develop
lung cancer, heart disease, etc. and heavy drinkers tend to
develop liver disease, diabetes, etc., people started asking the
question “is there some aspect of what they are doing
destructive to health?”

This is how the connection of smoking and drinking being
detrimental to one’s health was discovered. It amounted to
noticing a pattern, and asking if there was a cause to it.

Clearly, responding to the question:

“is there some aspect of what they are doing destructive to health?”

with

“you are thinking too much with the mind; try to actualize and
align with your true self”

is dodging the question and providing use*ful* advice that doesn’t
*relate* to the matter at hand!!

#2

ME: The question of “are these practices dangerous” and/or
“are these practices really *effective* for health” are
concrete ones that don’t have anything to do with “understanding the self”.

YOU: I am not talking about “understanding” the self. . .
It is the mind which “understands” things.
. . . The real answer is not there. It appears when you stop strategizing and surrender your egoic sense of self to be in alignment with your Presence which is the true self. etc.

—-

See my comment in #1.

If a person were asking the question, “what should I do with my life?”
or “why are these things happening to me?” or “why do bad things happen?” etc.,
then your response couldn’t be more appropriate. They are open-ended
questions that have no worldly rational reason. These questions get
answered automatically however when living from the core true self.

However, asking whether certain worldly activities generate certain
effects, are not such questions. They are cause-and-effect questions, i.e.
is there a cause which generates this effect. For such a question,
either there is, or there isn’t! It’s not an open-ended question.

———————

>>>When you ask a question like “How come they died?” you are
>>>asking what they were victimized by. They weren’t victimized.
>>>To try to find out what killed them is to try to protect yourself from something >>>-like dying from alchemy.

NO. I didn’t say anything about victimization. That’s a judgement.
There’s no reason to assume that there was any malicious intent by
any form of consciousness. Asking if a worldly activity–either
supported or was ineffective at preventing–an early departure
creates no judgements whatsoever. It’s a cause-and-effect question.
It’s a completely different question than “why did the universe do that”,
the latter being one of the open-ended type that responds to ego-detachment.

>>>There is an inherent distrust of the process of life
>>>in a question like this . . .

See my previous discussion.

I suppose you *could* if you wanted to, take the “living from the core”
concept to the extreme, and just live a blissful existence akin
to Winnie the Pooh . . . not worrying about whether too much honey
and obesity would cause an early death from diabetes, or
other possibly negative consequences to physical life from a complete
carefree lifestyle centered on the self-axis.

If that’s the philosophy you want to take, there’s really nothing I
can say to argue against it. You’re free to choose such a viewpoint
if you wish.

I prefer to opt for a middle road.
One that tempers complete trust and surrender with an awareness
of all possible tools that can provide flexibility in my free choices.

#3

>>What I experience is that I Am and that that is
>>the real “me”, not an ego structure made up of
>>beliefs and attachments. My awareness is the real me
>>and it’s divine and not subject to death.
>>The personality I use down here is a temporary vehicle
>>for the expression of spirit. That will not last.
>>And if I think I am that, I will definitely be frightened
>>to death of death.

Doesn’t sound too good to me.

A *baby* is pure awareness. No personality, no memory, no rational mind.
I’ve been there and done that already, and I consider that to be
far too limiting . . . and moreover, a baby at least had a physical body,
so what you describe sounds less than that.

Great. I have awareness. Big deal.
As I’ve described in the previous paragraph, that’s not much.
Is it really selfish and ego-attached to want more?

S