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Can anyone offer any advice on resolving these issues? Diet, time of making love, qigong exercises etc…
This question gets asked a lot, so I’m going to try to be comprehensive so I can just link to this post in the future. I don’t know of diet or time-of-day suggestions that work as a general rule, so I won’t address that bit.
There are many different solutions to each of these issues, each with their pluses and minuses. What a person decides to do, depends on what they feel is right for them vs. what they don’t want to do. Let me list all the options I know about, ignoring abstinence of course, because what fun is that?
PREMATURE EJACULATION
1. Learn Healing Love techniques from the Healing Tao curriculum
In particular, get really grounded and then while having sex, do the cool draw technique. When ejaculation feels imminent, do the big draw to prevent ejaculation, recirculating the sexual energy through your body via the orbit
Pluses: Use qigong techniques to delay ejaculation. Separate ejaculation from orgasm. Side benefit is that if you don’t ejaculate at all, you don’t lose your essence, so you also are not exhausted after ejaculation. It solves both problems simultaneously. Stops premature ejaculation, and gives you energy to boot. Advocated by the HT, so you get supported by many practitioners who are also doing the practices.
Minuses: You have do qigong techniques while having sex, so some of your attention is on something other than sex. Partner may not be thrilled about you doing this (assuming you tell them or they figure out you are doing something). Stagnation/irritation can arise in the prostate gland if a lot of other additional work is not done, as the prostate gland is not getting a regular flush. Could be viewed as unnatural practice as you are stopping the natural body mechanism.
See Healing Love
2. Use desensitization spray on the penis
Prior to sex, spray your penis with desensitization spray. You will be less sensitive and will last longer, depending on amount of spray used.
Pluses: Don’t need to learn Healing Love techniques, nor do qigong during sex.
Minuses: Need to possibly interrupt sex act so you can use the spray. As it is a one-time use, you will need to use each time, and this is an on-going expense. Long-term use of numbing spray (lidocaine) is probably harmless, but this is also untested, e.g. use at your own risk.
See Promescent Spray
3. Take certain herbs to sedate the liver
One is Bupleurem and Dragon Bone combination, but there are others.
Pluses: Don’t need to do anything in the bedroom, no qigong or spray. Just take some herbs and you last longer.
Minuses: This is an on-going large expense, and depending on the individual, may have limited to no effectiveness. A lot of experimentation in finding the right herbal formulation is needed, as this can vary from individual to individual. Herbs could have unintended side-effects.
See Dragon Herbs
4. Have sex more frequently
Simply increase the frequency of having sex. Ejaculation time tends to lengthen as frequency goes up.
Variation on this theme: after prematurely ejaculating, continue sexual activity, and renew sex in 20 minutes or whenever erection comes back, then have sex again
Pluses: You get to have more sex.
Minuses: Frequently ejaculating is likely to increase level of exhaustion, and you could put yourself in a qi exhausted state (unless you are doing other things). Partner may not also want so much sex.
EXHAUSTION AFTER EJACULATION
1. Learn Healing Love techniques from the Healing Tao curriculum
In particular, get really grounded and then while having sex, do the cool draw technique. When ejaculation feels imminent, do the big draw to prevent ejaculation, recirculating the sexual energy through your body via the orbit
Pluses: Use qigong techniques to delay ejaculation. Separate ejaculation from orgasm. Side benefit is that if you don’t ejaculate at all, you are not exhausted, but you also haven’t prematurely ejaculated. It solves both problems simultaneously. Advocated by the HT, so you get supported by many practitioners who are also doing the practices.
Minuses: You have do qigong techniques while having sex, so some of your attention is on something other than sex. Partner may not be thrilled about you doing this (assuming you tell them or they figure out you are doing something). Stagnation/irritation can arise in the prostate gland if a lot of other additional work is not done, as the prostate gland is not getting a regular flush. Could be viewed as unnatural practice as you are stopping the natural body mechanism.
See Healing Love
2. Get a vasectomy
Schedule an appointment with a urologist to have a vasectomy, severing the connection of the sperm to the prostate fluid.
Pluses: You still ejaculate, but you don’t lose your jing. Energy loss is drastically cut to just what is lost via the physical exercise and the prostate fluid loss.
Minuses: You give up the ability to have children, and this could be a problem for you or for some current/future partners. Some stagnation can still arise in the testicles, because the sperm are not being flushed out. Thus additional work still needs to be done (massage, testicle breathing, etc.). Some lesser fatigue still arises due to prostate fluid loss and the physical exercise aspect.
3. Do kidney-building qigong
Do a lot of standing meditation practice, as well as general kidney-builder qigong, as on the Sexual Vitality Qigong DVD.
Pluses: Works even if you are doing other methods.
Minuses: You still will likely be fatigued afterward if you use no other method, but recovery time is minimized. May increase horniness, so more desire for sex, tendency for premature ejaculation is increased. Effectiveness of the practices is dependent on the person and amount of practice done.
For the Sexual Vitality DVD, see: Sexual Qigong
4. Take certain herbs to build the kidney system.
Drink Goji 100 juice and take He Shou Wu capsules to rebuild jing essence that is lost via ejaculation.
Pluses: Works even if you are doing other methods.
Minuses: It’s an on-going expense. You still will likely be fatigued afterward if you use no other method, but recovery time is minimized. May increase horniness, so more desire for sex, tendency for premature ejaculation is increased. Herbs could have unintended side-effects
For He Shou Wu, see Dragon Herbs
5. Eat it
Yes, you heard that right.
Rapidly consume your ejaculate after you release (e.g. < 15 seconds).
The faster you do this, the less energy is lost.Pluses: Sexual energy hasn't yet dissipated from the ejaculate in this timeframe, and can be recaptured. Jing is not lost, as it goes back into your body. Hormones, sugars, proteins, are re-harvested.
Minuses: You have to eat it, and very few people are willing to. If a partner is involved, they may not want you to.
6. Put 100% of attention on your partner during sex
Forget the Healing Love techniques, and put all attention, 100%, on the partner. Connect to your partner on a deep-heart level, and send continuous love to your partner while having sex. This creates a void-space within you, so then the universe floods you with energy in response. Moreover, with 100% of attention on the partner, along with ejaculation, energy continues in a loop and your love with ejaculation gets multiplied by the partner's heart and is sent back to you. The energy coming from your partner's heart and the extra energy flooding into you from the universe exceeds what is lost through the ejaculation.
Pluses: End up with more energy, not less, after sex. Don't need to do qigong or any other method, just have sex.
Minuses: With 100% of attention on the partner, and energy directed so much away from you, it can aggravate premature ejaculation issues, so then you need to remedy that problem with one of methods #2-4 from the section on premature ejaculation . . . or not do this method very frequently. Sometimes if you are highly effective in the "100%"–and in creating the void space–that the amount of energy flooding into you from the universe can be too much, i.e. you can find it difficult to sleep, if you were having sex before bed.
As an FYI, when I've done this method #6 (which is my preferred one, all things being equal), I have NEVER felt tired after sex. I've always felt like I had more energy, not less, and I actually noticed my need for sleep to decrease. My partner even asked me several times in amazement, "where do you get all your energy?". But #6 is not the one-size-fits-all best solution either, because you can tire your partner out with all the frequent sex.
In any case, lots of different options for you.
Qi,
Stevenjust like to add; opinion of course:
The testicle massage – taught as part of iron shirt or bone breathing, compression and percussion – to release sexual energy into circulation – and then link it to bone structure – has some relevance here. If this massage is performed with the hands as conduits for chi flow, along with heart-mind observing, as a healing, it becomes a powerful alchemy transforming jing power and refining it (sunlight of mind on or into the water of body). If this is practiced regularly IMO it transforms a lot of the power seeking release so you have more control and options. Sometimes the effect is cool as jing spreads out and connects to earth and sometimes warm as jing power connects to above, Sun, heaven, higher mind. Sometimes just feeling irritation and itchiness dissipate. What you then can share with partner is more refined. This is all warming the water – if wanting to heat up for Big Draw practice (solo) can do that – but can be done without forcing, just do to around 70 percent (to blast off) and relax, let warmth spread out through whole body; repeating a few times. Depending on age – few times a week feels good. These practices give a lot of comfort and control. One to add is testicle breathing (eyes to T’s) – cool draw – without the T massage but do it lightly as seems right, not trying to move jing too much – that’s my feeling, just to say hello and check eyes and Ts are online and communicating – spirit guiding your ‘followers’. I Ching ‘followers’ are Ts in some passages.and (as a sidebar) moreover, testicle massage and testicle breathing are good to do regardless of any sexual activity interest . . . it helps clear stagnation that can give rise to tumors or other toxic health conditions, and it helps diffuse sexual energy in the body to fuel the pineal gland and the stem cells. Stem cells are what repair the body. So, all-in-all, this should be part of any man’s routine. . . . S
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