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Your experiences are classic experiences of “kundalini awakening” at
the
stage of the chi mai being cleared.
With retention of the semenal force (jing, brahmacharya) and sufficient
mediotation/cultviation practice of the right
type, jing can trasnform into chi and open up the chi channels. Hence
your
experiences. This is the same sequence
as in yoga, Taoism, Buddhism, Tantra, Tibetan Buddhism, etc. Nothing
new or
different. Unfortunately, you
stopped before the chi could clear open your chi channels. Forceful
cultivation techniques over short periods of time, without emtpiness
meditation, usually provoke the “fierce” response you felt. Longer
cultivation of emptiness ahead of such experiences
usually pre-opens the chi mai so that your experiences are less
extreme.
Once again, nothing new or mystical. It’s just science.There’s a free download at the bottom of the STAGES page ont he
meditationexpert website. That explains many of your
phenomena. Read it (about 180+ pages) and you’ll see you were at the
stage
of intensified practices, but your chi never entered the
central channel for dhyana attainment. This is the stage of generation
in
Vajrayana/Tibetan Yoga. Had you persevered you
would have been at the completion stage of practice where chi enters
intot
he central channel. See Tsongkhapa’s Commentary on the
Six Yogas of Naropa (Glenn Mullin) for more details. The free medexpert
newsletter lets you download 13 case studies of
practitioners with similar and dismilar experiences to your own.
SUggest you
get that as well.Good luck.
Bill
My thoughts at the moment:
Looking at his website, I feel that he is viewing this from a certain perspective rooted in the Buddhist approach, the goal of which is a certain “enlightenment”, and comparing all esoteric systems to this approach. I am not so sure all “enlightenments” are the same.
“Emptiness” has it’s role, but so does “Form”, and for me it is sickness to place emptiness over form, since they love each other equally. When I see texts espousing the formless over formed, I feel an intense distrust and aversion in my heart. I am not sure how much of this is “blockage”, but I feel it goes deeper than that. I was practicing emptiness meditations, as in last december when I realized “all is essenceless”. But I was discounting the my earth aspects, and that’s one reason my experiences shook me up so much, because they showed me a more whole experience of my psyche, which included many repressed things.
Based on my “deepest” meditations, I feel that every Buddha is reborn. That the formless loves the formed, and by “dissolving into the all”, one unites with that which is undissolved – thus being paradoxically “separate”. It took no “karma” for this all to begin; why should it all end once “karma” has ceased? The secret is beyond such duality, it is non-causal and unknown. I feel that heaven and earth are courting to birth a child, and it is possible to catch glimpses of that child. To me, returning to that, finding that, has always been the goal. These “enlightenments” that dismiss the great unknown of incarnation itself — are incomplete.
I studied some of the six yogas of Naropa last winter, particularly the dream-yoga and illusory-body oriented practices. But I always felt that “on the other end” of the emptiness, beyond the void, there was something — something so alien and otherly, something impossible, the only thing i’ve ever known..where i came from… beckoning. This is what I am calling “a glimpse of that child”.
Does anybody know what I mean? It’s not something that causal, linear, 3d time and space bound language easily lend to. I am mixing up different levels, or is there really something more?
Yesterday I experienced a subtle illumination right after spending a good while in a deep resotrative meditation. As I opened my eyes I was rather astonished at the world – suddenly the formless ocean of dreaming lights crystallized and coalesced into all sorts of colors, objects, relations… At first this was unsettling, I could have easily stayed in that silent sea before all these things. For a moment, I felt the gnostic dread of “spirit trapped in matter”, but then this quickly opened to something else. I realized from the perspective of matter-imbued-with-spirit, there may be this sense of being “trapped” – But for spirit-without-matter, matter is the most amazing, wildest trip around. The greatest gift of all! I mean, how could this be? It’s so impossible and strange, so sexy. It’s like finally being able to see yourself in the mirror. Without matter, “god” is lonely. The daimonic spirit realm is but a shadow without matter to reflect upon it.
ALL THE BEST,
dragonbonesp.s.
the last of the 6 yogas of naropa is that of powa: consciousness transference… shooting the essence of consciousness out of the head into the emptiness of clear light (or maybe a “favorable rebirth”). i don’t see how this is a desirable spiritual goal – it seems like going right back to sqaure one. and for those practicing these yogas, couldn’t such a technique lead to severe diassociation between body and mind? (as might the illusory body meditation, for example) i have heard one must do long-life practices in preparation for powa… otherwise it can destroy one’s health.
sometimes i feel a bit overwhelmed by doubts when exploring spiritual cultivation techniques, as often each school seems to feel it’s goals are the highest and then compare all other school and goals to its own.
***
i am just posting all these ponderings since i am curious what those more experienced in these practices than me would have to say about it…
DB> the last of the 6 yogas of naropa is that of powa: consciousness transference… shooting the essence of consciousness out of the head into the emptiness of clear light (or maybe a “favorable rebirth”). .. couldn’t such a technique lead to severe diassociation between body and mind? >
Yes, that is a danger with that technique.
However, the main point of the 6 yogas is the 1st yoga. Opening and filling the two side, thrusting channels (chi mai), and learning to draw the energies into the central channel, and what happens there. That is, by far, the main point of the 6 yogas (and its the basis of the other 5 – or however you want to count them). And its a practice that develops over considerable time. The other yogas are almost beside the point.
Also, I still stand by the conclusions reached earlier – that for now the solution is to slow down. Spiritual work is not a 100 yard dash.
One note, a thought that I have from previous posts in this thread.
If you had successfully and harmoniously acheived brahmacharya (abstained from ejaculation) … and I know you mentioed that you’d chosen to resume ejaculating .. its probably best that you don’t ejaculated very often (how ofen that is really depends on each person and their age, situation, etc.). After kundalini has awakened, especially during the following transitional time, the body uses and needs that energy to reconfigure, to adjust. Occasionally is one thing, but don’t deplete yourself.
If you ejaculate frequently, the effect is not really to slow the progress down as to cause damage. Slowing down is good, but you want to do it in a healthy way. And make the distinction between slowing down and damaging the vehicle. Not that you’ve shown any sign of a tendency towards self destructive behavior in your previous posts, simply stating a point.
Just noticed this.
Phowa is very often misunderstood as just being a kind of mechanical yoga technique; if it is not practiced within the context of a thorough understanding of the buddhist philosophical view, and/or if it is not received from a truly competent teacher, then it will indeed appear to be an extreme ‘escape hatch’ kind of technique. Even in ‘buddhist’ circles this technique is often taught in this watered-down, dangerous way.
In actuality it is about ‘taking a leap into the non-dual state’, which state does not constitute an escape into some blankness or bodiless bliss zone. It’s intent is not to be an out-of-body technique; sometimes that happens with those learning it, but that is not the objective. The idea is that the non-dual state so-to-speak ‘trumps’ all categories, being an operative mode you can take with you anywhere. It is a ‘prajna’ technique, like zen koans (see D.T. Susuki–‘The Field of Zen’, and ‘An Introduction to Zen Buddhism’).
Simon
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