December 5, 2005 at 10:49 pm #9165
With the changes in my life come sudden bursts of fiery emotions, rage and grief, made all the more powerful by what resistance I have to feeling them fully. I find the desire to change them comes over me and this adds fuel to the repressive fire.
I think by asking on the forum I will initiate some shift in my shen and get some answers from inside, but am also interested in your experiences or suggestions.
When I am feeling explosive the fusion practice is difficult to contain. I think I learned it in a calm place, like buying a car after driving it on the lot and then entering the freeway.
Perhaps the Healing sounds are more appropriate for this, releasing the steam from them and recycling the energy. I will try those more, especially the liver and lung. But it feels like it is the heart that is where the heat is.
I wake up at 3 or so in the morning awakened by the energies and mind. Move the Primordial, which calms me and centers me somewhat, but also can exaggerate the intensity.
Exercise, ocean breath, kidney pumping…all these help too.
Talking to people, being held, releasing the emotions as I am witnessed…these come too.
Taking refuge in the Immortals and the living pulse of the planet…this gives the greatest quickening and shifting but also a lot of confusion.
Any ideas or suggestions for dealing with inner intense arisings of emotions? Besides raping, pillaging and murdering my next door neighbor there has to be some more skillful ideas? babaDecember 6, 2005 at 8:59 am #9166
Realized through simple practice that it is the force of these emotions that can strengthen the energetic matrix rather than the matrix needing to be strong enough to handle them. Perhaps it is the chicken and egg thing. That one gets experiences one is only able to handle even if the mind rebels.
AS I work the Primordial form and welcome the consciousness of the sun and moon into my solar plexus the cauldron begins to cook. Emotions seem a very distant expression of myself from this vantage point and in other meditations I would have considered them as clouds and let them pass. A Subtle repression.
As I move and stand the energy of the emotions press through tightened structures of belly and organ, it feels, and the cauldron shen welcome them. They then pass into and through the matrix of orbits and meridians strengthening them with their purified but not repressed force.
Perhaps after all these years of fusion I am learning it from the inside for once. Thanks for listening, babaDecember 6, 2005 at 11:25 am #9168
Emotions are like flowers… you need to let them bloom and die out naturally. If you supress them from fully blooming they’ll dig the roots in and start trying to force their blooms out in other ways.
Just as you would observe a flower, you can observe your feelings. With a flower you can differentiate the petals, leaves, colours, stem etc.
With an emotion you can get in contact with the memory causing it: the pictures you make in your mind (a lot of the time they’re slightly shrouded – but by conciously allowing yourself to see them, how they look (colour, clarity etc), where they are in space (how far/near in relation to your body) you begin to become concious of them). Some memories are particularly to do with sound – the sound of your voice nagging, or the sound of an angered parent’s voice – notice the sounds in your memory. Many times you will have a specific part of your body that you tighten/constrict in connection to your emotion/memory.
As you notice these things and keep your attention on them, use each of the healing sounds and with each one, as you do them, notice the pictures becoming black an white, moving further away from you untill they become a speck of light and get released through the healing sounds. The voices/sounds you are concentrating on can become a little distant and somwhat muffled beginning to sound like ‘blah blah blah’ and almost funny as you release them in your healing sounds. and finaly notice the feeling/tightness in your body (wherever it may be) become relaxed and get released progressively through each of the sounds.
and then as you smile to each of your organs they will let you know that you’ve released the emotion and the root memory that was causing it by smiling back.December 7, 2005 at 8:26 am #9170
Thanks FF. Your metaphor is an apt one. Spatial awareness isn’t as strong in my processing but visual is. The auditory is one that has recently increased as I open. I tried this last night and while it certainly wasn’t as linear/clean as you suggest the essence of observing, asking, releasing, smiling was. I just feel my relationship to the life force growing immensely within my current changes. I had plateaued for quite a while and now this…thanks again, it really helps to get others experiences, babaDecember 7, 2005 at 8:55 am #9172
Beside my inner work (for about 13 years) I had some good results with high potential homeopathy. Something taken from outside in but helps to get more space to work better inside out. Recently I used nux vomica ch 12 to release my liver better and I have to say my liver is much more balanced and happier. My liver was/is my worst organ, going in it was very difficult to have flow and openess like in the other organs. Because of that it effects my heart flow as well. So your feeling that it comes from the heart could be the other way. When the liver is stuck your heart is deprived and will give signals that something is not ok. At least my heart is a very obvious transmitter of that. So I avoid working on the heart directly but feel that liver comes first.
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.