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Scorpio Types (=Alchemists) and Nature of Desire (Astrological view)

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Home › Forum Online Discussion › Philosophy › Scorpio Types (=Alchemists) and Nature of Desire (Astrological view)

  • This topic has 15 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 5 months ago by Moonglow.
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  • November 29, 2010 at 8:32 pm #35993
    Michael Winn
    Keymaster

    Note: by astrologer Malvin Artley, writing from a western viewpoint about Scorpio, which may be of interest to the many Scorpio types (Sun or Rising sign) in the Healing Tao work. Artley is a bit of a Buddhist, but his discussion is still revelevant. He also has a Chinese astrology program that is pretty good. – Michael

    Sorry for the spacing here, couldn’t fix it.

    ———————–

    Pluto is the natural ruler of Scorpio, and since we are in and
    completing that interval during this full moon it is fitting that we have a look at that sign. Pluto gets us to take a look at ourselves,
    and it usually does so through evincing some sort of conflict, largely as a result of our own
    projections onto people or situations.

    Scorpios tend to get a bad rap from people who know a little bit about astrology. They are seem as
    dark and brooding, as moody and somewhat unapproachable, as someone who constantly does
    battle with life – not generally the sort of person seen to have a sunny disposition. Contrary to that
    view, most of the Scorpios I have known have been quite delightful and a lot of fun.

    Yet, if one
    looks at the esoteric side of Scorpio, one finds that Scorpio represents the very essence of what it is
    to be human. As humans, we have a sense that we are somehow born of the divine, yet we are
    bound by our passions and struggle within and without with regard to them. We have high
    intelligence (at least we like to think so) yet wisdom seems to escape our notice and we constantly
    bring ourselves undone by our short-sightedness. We are our greatest hope and our biggest enemy,
    all rolled into one.

    We have grand ideals and have achieved great things, yet the tests that befall us
    often seem to indicate to us that we still have a long way to go. It is as if we are great beings that
    have somehow been cursed to live in this illusory place where we have to struggle with every little
    bit of light on things that we can garner, yet in the darkest of times the wisdom that can flow from
    us comes from a source that is a surprise to all concerned and does indeed show that we are saviors,
    each in our own way, and are indeed of that dimly-sensed divine origin.

    Scorpio is one of the signs that brings testing with it. We spoke of renunciation in the last letter
    (Libra) and how every Libra life or interval brings with it a choice about whether to live more
    spiritually or not. With Scorpio we are tested as to those decisions. More to the point, we are tested
    as to those factors that keep us bound to the seemingly endless cycle of lives, and those factors are
    largely the animal passions and desire in general. When it comes to spirituality, desire is the big
    bug-bear ย– the demon that taunts us, the hobgoblin that disturbs our otherwise peaceful inner core.

    Although it is said that every life is the result of the working out of some desire, it is that very desire
    that keeps us bound here. If there is one sign that exemplifies dealing with desire definitively, it is
    Scorpio. Hence, it is one of the signs most intimately involved with the whole realm of discipleship
    and with overcoming to bonds of cyclic existence.

    There are said to be three great obstacles to liberation and full enlightenment ย– anger, desire and
    ignorance. Of the three, however, desire is the one that heads the list of obstacles to be overcome.
    Why would that be, and what is the nature of the desire about which we speak? Let us have a look
    at the two other factors (anger and ignorance) for just a minute and see why they are not so
    fundamental as obstacles as is desire. Anger, to begin with, is an effect more than a cause.

    Why
    does anger arise in us? It usually arises because we do not get something that we want, unless
    something is perpetrated upon us that brings harm to us. As people, we are not usually angry
    without reason. It is not a state of mind that is usual or normal. Desire, however, is inherent in the
    human continuum, and our desires are manifold and unceasing. And, it is just such desires that bend
    us from the spiritual path and distract us from our true work and heritage, that of being the divine
    beings we are meant to express in life. As for ignorance, if we are blinded as to our truth, then we
    are ignorant. Hence, ignorance is an effect from having to incarnate, yet it is itself inherent in being
    bound in a body as well. Having to incarnate blinds us in some measure to our higher Self.

    If
    incarnation is the result of some desire, then we can perhaps begin to see how pervasive and
    insidious this thing we so benignly call desire is and how troublesome it can be to our sense of
    peace and spiritual progress.

    When most people think of Scorpio the word ย‘sexualityย’ usually springs to mind. It is that type of
    desire that people most frequently associate with Scorpio. Scorpio does rule the gonads and the
    reproductive urges, but more than that it governs over the transmutation of said urges. The desire
    we speak of when we talk about Scorpio is not simply sexual desire. What is actually being referred

    to here is desire of any sort. The reason Scorpio is connected with the reproductive organs is not so
    much about desire as it is with the fact that we have to incarnate in order to achieve liberation.
    There are certain stages along the spiritual path for humanity wherein advancements cannot be had
    unless one is actually possessed of a human body ย– what Buddhists would call a ย‘precious human
    rebirthย’.

    Sex as exhibited through Scorpio takes on three distinct facets: the providing of a human rebirth
    through procreation, the desire for the sexual act which is, in the final analysis a hook which keeps
    us bound to samsara (the cycle of rebirths) via desire, and our ย‘ticket outย’ of samasara in the final
    stages of the path through specific practices of anuttara yoga tantra ย– this final aspect of sex being
    reserved only for the initiated and thus available only to those who can be trusted to engage in it
    properly. The vows undertaken in such a case are strict and unwavering and are the way of safety.

    It
    is a rare soul indeed who can truly take on such a practice. What most people understand as ย‘tantraย’
    is actually nothing of the sort and what is touted as tantra in the media and on the web can actually
    be dangerous and a trap for the curious, unwary and uninformed. So, this latter facet of sex will not
    concern us here. The desire element of sex is what is usually addressed through Scorpio and one
    will occasionally find a celibate Scorpio (if you can believe it) when they are inwardly having to
    address their inner urges. The first facet of sex (procreation) is by far the most important for
    humanity with regard to Scorpio, though, as it is the means whereby we are born to this world and
    are thus able to engage in our spiritual practices on this plane ย– the ย‘precious human rebirthย’.

    What is it that makes such a rebirth so precious, and why is being human such a big deal and so
    necessary to spiritual evolution? The answer to that is hinted at in the Bible when it is stated that
    God gave humans dominion over all the subhuman kingdoms. Why? Well, it is not so much that it
    is our birth right to simply have all such resources at our disposal, even though karmically one
    could say that it is so. Rather, we are given dominion over the lower kingdoms in nature so that we
    can learn how to work with them in wisdom rather than use them at our whim, and through mastery
    of those aspects of nature within us, to then be trusted custodians of the same. I would venture to
    say that our custodianship over Nature is more of the nature of a training ground, rather than a ย‘gift
    from Godย’.

    It is not that we have to master Nature. We have to learn to master ourselves ย– our own
    inner nature – and to do that, we need a body composed of all six constituents ย– earth, water, air,
    fire, subtle matter (drops) and mind (winds).

    It is an occult fact that our little globe is the one in this solar system whereupon physical suffering is
    registered and dealt with as a karmic necessity. Mars is the planet whereupon the corresponding
    thing is seen in relation to desire, and likewise Saturn with respect to the mind. We are born on this
    world because we have to learn to deal with material, emotional and mental karma (for karma =
    suffering in the final analysis), all at the same time, and grow in wisdom as a result.

    It is a fantastic
    opportunity in the final analysis, and seen from a higher perspective. And, the driving force for our
    having to be here and to reincarnate again and again? ย– desire. When we think of it, being sparks of
    the divine, being divine in our essence, we are ย‘the WORD made fleshย’, and if we can rise above
    our petty self-interest, then we can exemplify that divine aspect of ourselves to great effect. It is
    largely our desire for the world that keeps us from realizing our own divinity.

    Scorpio has been called ย‘Chr_stos in humiliationย’ (Christ in humility), for the fact that having to be
    in a body is a humbling experience to a divine being. The divine powers are usurped until that being
    has gained full control of every aspect of its bodies while it has to work through those bodies. It is
    thus occulty ย‘humiliatedย’ until it has gained dominion. On the downward arc, as it were (Scorpio
    working outwards into form), there is a profound sense of frustration and ย‘divine outrageย’ at having
    to be reborn again and again in a body of any description. In that phase the Scorpio type projects
    his/her anger outward to the world and can become a veritable monster towards those around them.
    This is the worst-case scenario.

    There are said to be nine tests with Scorpio, though only a few would likely be addressed in a single
    life ย– sex, physical comfort and money (physical), fear, hatred and ambition (emotional), pride,
    separativeness and cruelty (mental). These tests are illustrated for us in the hydra of the Hercules
    myth. With the Scorpio on the downward arc, such a person will project those tests onto others, and
    they will thus be a horror to live around. When however, the Scorpio begins to sense that they are
    self-responsible (one of the key indicators that one is ย‘on the Pathย’), then all such tests are
    eventually turned inward and the wisdom that can be evinced from such a Scorpio type as they
    overcome the lower aspects of their nature is a joy and a balm to all who surround them.

    So, in the final analysis and to sum up what has been put forward here, there is always a test of
    some sort with Scorpio, a test that will ultimately determine if the Scorpio native will show inner
    h and go forward on the spiritual path or if there is not sufficient strength and they have to
    backtrack and do more preparatory work. If one is born as a Scorpio type (Sun or Ascendant in the
    sign) they are, in sense, sitting for examination, especially if Scorpio is rising in the chart. They can
    be assured that at some point in life some test as to their orientation on the spiritual path will be
    presented to them. There will be some aspect of their desire nature that will have to be overcome.
    Spiritual practices are a must for any Scorpio consciously on the path, otherwise there is no
    effective release for them when the fires of purification take hold (and they will) and illness,
    explosive situations or both will engulf them at some point as the points of crisis and thus
    opportunity appear unless they can positively release the tensions that arise in the purificatory
    processes. Scorpio governs the path of preparation.

    Finally, Scorpio is the sign of renewed effort, of transition, change and reorientation, where a
    person is given opportunity to subdue and thus gain wise use over some aspect of his/her lower
    nature. Then, through wrestling with the lower self and gaining in self-mastery, the Scorpio type
    first sees and then gives out the ย‘Light of Dayย’, the very Light of the higher Self. Scorpio rules over
    the plane of buddhi, or of karmic volition, and when it comes down to it, the ย‘bill comes dueย’ when
    Scorpio is strong in a personย’s chart. ย“Warrior am I, and from the battle I emerge triumphantย”,
    being the catch-call of the Scorpio type, is in the end a victory cry for all of humanity, for every
    Scorpio type who wins the day and the battle within becomes a wise leader and exemplar of what it
    is to be human for all who follow after, and exemplary, too, of the very best that is within all of us.

    December 1, 2010 at 5:51 pm #35994
    Steven
    Moderator

    Buddhist approach here is Theravadan Buddhism,
    much different from my posts on “ZBuddhism”
    (lower on the same page).

    In particular, these views (Theravadan Buddhist)
    are too negative and life-unembracing, and focus
    on trying to escape from the wheel of samskara . . .
    of the cycle of rebirths . . . ultimately a
    modified Hindu philosophy but recast with a negative spin.
    Too much of an ascetic viewpoint, in my opinion.

    I have FOUR Scorpios in my chart, including Sun sign,
    so I read this post with interest, but had to filter out
    the Theravadan philosophy. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    S

    December 1, 2010 at 5:57 pm #35996
    Steven
    Moderator

    Sort of speaking in general, I think Scorpios have the
    following characteristics (and being one, I think, gives
    me additional insight):

    1. Intense interest in spirituality, life, and death.
    2. Obsession with sexuality.
    3. Tend to do things with intensity.
    4. Tend to be extremely passionate when in love.
    5. Experience emotions (either outwardly or inwardly) to
    a much greater degree than other signs.

    Of course, all five of the above characteristics make Scorpios
    especially well-suited to being Daoist Alchemists . . .

    S

    December 1, 2010 at 7:53 pm #35998
    wendy
    Participant

    That makes us also very complicated beings for other people, especially our partners.
    My philosophy in life is ‘ I do not rest until I hit the bottom’ and ‘ I need to understand the things behind the things’ just to say that we do not ‘tend’ to do things with intensity, we ARE intense.

    For an Alchemist that is the right spirit, but in partnership we need a partner that can handle us because they never know when we jump up with our shovel to start digging again to find the raw diamonds in the dirt. And for sure we will dig until our last breath.

    I do believe scorpio’s are the most misunderstood signs of the zodiac.

    December 1, 2010 at 9:58 pm #36000
    Steven
    Moderator

    Yes, I agree with what you said completely.
    I only used the word “tend” because I wanted to
    soften the blow, a little bit. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Re: partnered situations
    Part of my experience in partnered situations is
    that a Scorpio can help a Scorpio partner by giving
    full communication at every step of the way . . . so that
    as the partner experiences the intensity, they can understand
    what the motivation and reason is behind it. It allows
    them to join the ride, rather than be shocked and
    mystified by something they can’t identify with.
    Also, by reminding the partner periodically of your intensity,
    it can help them feel you empathize with their challenge,
    helps them to feel that you are on “their side” as well; it
    gives them a little breather, so they can rest and feel secure.

    There is likely always going to be a little struggle, but
    I think these things help anyway . . .

    S

    December 6, 2010 at 7:10 pm #36002
    Moonglow
    Participant

    to this I agree – the most misunderstood and will never stop digging…..just can’t.
    A scorpio I am and the definition here helps in the understanding even if Michael Winn’s first definition was Theravadan – it still comes pretty close. As far as sexually obsessed …. not so. Just need to turn within more. I find men in particular get stuck on the sex part. Sometimes when reading here it gives you the impression everyone has sex obsession to the degree that they have a big problem. Somehow the energy seems to give them the “reason” to be so. Not so. Lift up to the heavens and quit putting the energy in your gonads. Sorry, just had to say that. Not that I am not sexual – but as I said Scorpio is misunderstood. But to the few that know us (no one ever truly knows us) … they see the funny side, the comical side, the open heart side, the taking joy in seeing a bug side. But no one wants to listen anymore. To know a Scorpio you need time. It isn’t done lightly. No need to say anything more than this. There is no more need. Glad to hear there are others of the same, somewhere … even if sex is their #1. I am not sure what #1 is for me. I do know that meditation helps a lot. I do know that I wanted to go home a lot. Ahhh, well, there will always be aheavy sigh in the background of a Scorpio’s breath, until we leave and the breath is no longer required. But it doesn’t make a difference. It is just one motion after another. What gets me the most is that thetr are so few times a Scorpio can truly just be, without others judging. Isn’t that so? We seem to be open game sometimes, or at least it feels that way. All we really want is be at peace. There are not too many energy workers that come forward with sincerity. There is always a game plan. Sometimes is better to choose beyond that – go straight for the light. Can’t be near a lot of people anyways. Cause change, too much sometimes and that is not good. Energy becomes inherent catalyst. Better to keep still and dig inside. Better to keep quiet, not near too many. Better to heal in one’s own land with nature as the caretaker.
    I strongly believe that sex obsession is due to a vacant emotional healing. It is easier to feel the sex than it is to look at what is driving it. Scorpio’s are passionate, that does not mean they are sex starved. WRONG. That means that Scorpios have the ability to feel “things”, to feel “situations” to truly expereince beauty and compassion and love. That is what a Scorpio is. Passionate. Well, at least we were until people started reading us wrong and started berating us for emotional attachment. That is where it gets screwed up. Emotion takes us up to the light. Just needs to be the right emotion. Not to live like a block of concrete with no emotion. Wrong way for a scorpio for it deadens the heart. Scorpios CAN live each minute, each second to its fullest. Just we find it hard to because it is not accepted. I look at all the things I have read and all the teachings I have had. I am what I was before. All I learned was that there is a lot of bull shit out there. And I can still sit on a gravel pit and look at a bird who has died and wonder about its life and death. I can do that now just as I did when I was 5 years old. what else do we need? It is when people fill other’s minds with crap and fear and take away that wonderment of life and death. That is a death in itself. A death I visited and am returning from. I don’t like it there at all. Just give me a blue sky, a kind heart, a singing bird, a compassionate look, a beautiful flower a dried twig, a fading butterfly, a fierce storm, a struggling mother …… that is life and when we embrace each one of these with our essence …. as we can, as a Scorpio can, we need nothing more than quiet meditation to soothe the homesickness. Ths is the life of a Scorpio from birth to death and beyond. When we see inside ourseles it is full of passion … full of passion for our truth. The divine truth.
    To be a Scorpio – to see what is here and what isn’t here and to live here. A true Taoist joke. I like the what he said about being angry. He is so right. Theravadan or not. That is the anger. You can dig all you want and that anger …. it will always reappear. Because it can’t be here the way it was there. Well it can but it takes a lot and sometimes there is just no game plan and not many players.

    December 9, 2010 at 1:09 pm #36004
    Steven
    Moderator

    There is more to sexuality than sex.
    Obsession with sexuality really is about not finding simply sex to be sufficient.
    It’s more an intense interest in coupling sex with heart connection, with passion, with emotional intensity, with love, with taking it beyond the mundane and into the
    super-spiritual, with feeling totally saturated with the aliveness of the energy of the lifeforce, with feeling all aspects are not only important but essential, with feeling it can’t simply be discarded in the quest to be spiritual; ignoring it and trivializing it, simply won’t do. It is the whole multi-dimensional aspect . . .

    There’s no need to be angry.
    We are intensely curious at the universe’s mystery, we struggle to understand;
    with lack of understanding, frustration can arise. Anger is about us saying that if we ran the universe, we’d do it differently . . . we’d create people and situations that could communicate and harmonize better. Instead: Better to just accept, and not demand that everything has to have a reason. The source of anger is always the self.
    Stimuli to our anger are gifts to remind us to relax into the world.

    S

    December 10, 2010 at 3:27 pm #36006
    Moonglow
    Participant

    I don’t believe you and not so much anger ………
    and I wouldn’t want the job of “dong things better or differently”. That is a task much better left to the Universe. Doesn’t mean though that there are not things one can do to make it “easier” for others and ourselves.

    Sexuality and sexual OBSESSION are different to me. Two different things although related. You have tried to simmer the pot you were stewing or are stewing. Don’t do that. Sexuality is our embracement of our genes. Whether that be female, male or both and being comfortable with that. Sexual obsession is transferring everything we feel and do thru a “sexual experience”. Nice try but I don’t buy what you just said. Nope, do not. It’s a cop out. I believe that we can have truly euphoric experiences thru our hearts AND NOT JUST our reproductive organs, although reproductive organs can give quite a bit of enjoyment and cause euphoria in itself. Truth is, if you want to go backwards then believe that enlightenment lies between your legs. If this is hell and you are here for penance, what do you think you are here to learn. And if this is not hell, but heaven then why would humans need to experience “joy” thru sex when in reality joy is in the heart? Somewhere things have gone astray with the energy development. Too much in the wrong area. Dangerous. Look at Oliver Shanti. Look at a good number of other “cultish” leaders. Energy goes to their heads, or should I say to between their legs. Nothing new. It will take years yet before our development turns the right way. Someday there may just be one sex – we will be male/female in one, kind of like some are now but we will all be that way. Maybe that will happen. Quite a high liklihood actually. True yin and yang.
    Look in history – all of the cultures who were destroyed had paganistic screw everyone, anytime, cultures (physically and socially). They didn’t last. I would take a deep look at that.
    Not everything you read in books is correct. And not everything everyone has done in the past is correct either. If they were then they would be standing in front of us 500 years later telling us to our faces that what they did was right. The proof is in the pudding. And so far, I haven’t even seen a pudding half baked.
    I am not angry ….. I can give off an energy that you perceive as anger. I have learned to do that ……. but in my heart … there is no anger. I can sit and be at peace. The other stuff is just a game. You play it, I play it. We all play it. It doesn’t matter. It matters not. What matters is the heart.

    I don’t believe you – this having to feel everything to the core, I do that thru the heart not from between my legs.
    Just thought I’d check in to see what’s happening. I grew up in the hippy days and when I see and read some of the things here it reminds me of those days. Good for a memory but I wouldn’t want to live there. And nothing against you or anyone else here for mostly you do a good job. There is some good information. I just don’t believe that way. Human’s are always searching for that euphoric high, well some of them are. Some use drugs, some use sex, some use beating themselves, some cut themselves, some have sex mixed with pain. That euphoria can be addictive. That can be a problem. And that may just be a problem one has to figure out while they are on this earth. However, that is not my problem and I frankly refuse to make it mine. I have a choice and I choose to try to attain a step to enlightenment thru another modality. There is more than one you know.

    And you should do more grounding exercises.

    December 10, 2010 at 4:44 pm #36008
    Steven
    Moderator

    I do feel some anger coming through your posts.
    Sort of a frustration that “people just don’t get it” . . .
    Maybe that’s just my feeling I get from reading though and from not
    having the advantage of being able to talk genuinely and
    in person. That’s the limitation of this sort of medium I suppose.
    Smiles to you, nonetheless. ^_^

    Also, I need to clarify something, because I feel you
    are projecting some things on me that are not the case.

    If you want to know my situation, I was celibate for 10 years; in
    part due to some years of being with a woman who didn’t believe in
    sex before marriage, and some years I simply wished to be alone.
    After a couple of nights of “simple fun” which ended the celibacy,
    returned to celibacy simply because I had no interest in sex outside the
    confines of a deep loving relationship . . . the former being too
    superficial. I do not spend my time looking at porn, nor spend
    my time looking for one sexual conquest after the other. I have
    absolutely no interest in such things. And as of recently, in fact,
    have found true love–albeit separated by continents. To be honest,
    I am quite happy.

    Sexual obsession and/or intense interest in sexuality (from
    my experience interacting with other Scorpios) does TEND to be prominent
    in this sign, but that’s all I said: there is a tendency.
    I didn’t say it applies to everybody. I didn’t say it applies to you
    specifically, nor did I say that it characterizes my life.

    So please don’t shoebox me, when you don’t know my life.
    (Smiling when I’m saying this.) ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Peace and love,
    Steven

    December 10, 2010 at 6:25 pm #36010
    wendy
    Participant

    I will add my little thoughts in the mix as a scorpio.

    In my previous past marriage I had a difficult time enjoying sex deeply because I felt no safety and no true heartful commitment, without this it just did not work for me. I could have orgasms without problems but my deeper self was never satisfied. So while my ex was convinced I had a good time because of my orgasm I felt left empty on a deeper level.

    With my current partner Chris, the love making is finally bringing me to a place deep inside of me that I feel is the source of all life. So I completely understand Steven and how he is talking about the sexual ‘obsession’. To me sex feels like completion, like all the parts of him and me are exposed and in the open – or not! which brings up interesting issues to work with as a couple! And when in a loving relationship these issues are deeply healing when exposed and shared and nurtured.

    So ‘sex’ to me is much more than ‘fun between the legs’.
    It is the closest I can get to my partner and in myself using our physical bodies, how wonderful that is!
    His orgasm often makes me cry, experiencing deep joy and deep connection. The energy he brings in me I use upward to my heart to give it back to him. Doing that makes me absolutely humble and I always feel deeply touched and wonderfully grateful.

    So yes Steven, sex is doing it for me as a tool to deep connection on many levels of my being. For me it is a gateway to heaven on earth, and moves me into tears of gratitude and love…

    December 10, 2010 at 6:27 pm #36012
    wendy
    Participant

    I will add my little thoughts in the mix as a scorpio.

    In my previous past marriage I had a difficult time enjoying sex deeply because I felt no safety and no true heartful commitment, without this it just did not work for me. I could have orgasms without problems but my deeper self was never satisfied. So while my ex was convinced I had a good time because of my orgasm I felt left empty on a deeper level.

    With my current partner Chris, the love making is finally bringing me to a place deep inside of me that I feel is the source of all life. So I completely understand Steven and how he is talking about the sexual ‘obsession’. To me sex feels like completion, like all the parts of him and me are exposed and in the open – or not! which brings up interesting issues to work with as a couple! And when in a loving relationship these issues are deeply healing when exposed and shared and nurtured.

    So ‘sex’ to me is much more than ‘fun between the legs’.
    It is the closest I can get to my partner and in myself using our physical bodies, how wonderful that is!
    His orgasm often makes me cry, experiencing deep joy and deep connection. The energy he brings in me I use upward to my heart to give it back to him. Doing that makes me absolutely humble and I always feel deeply touched and wonderfully grateful.

    So yes Steven, sex is doing it for me as a tool to deep connection on many levels of my being. For me it is a gateway to heaven on earth, and moves me into tears of gratitude and love…

    December 10, 2010 at 7:12 pm #36014
    Moonglow
    Participant

    I do apologize for shoe boxing you. I did not mean to do that. I also did not mean to label you specifically, although I may have started to do that.
    I think I attached to you what I have read in these posts earlier on. I haven’t been following the posts much lately because of that. The discussions seem to all end with the same connotation. No matter how great they start out. I just tune in sometimes, see if any of the posts hit me in a way that stirs anything I think I need to deal with and sometimes to put my 2 cents in and then usually leave. I think I test the waters to see if I still get irritated and most times I still do. I have just never been one of those people who have a soft, soft all enveloping mush to them. I do try to understand but I just never relate very well to that kind of mushiness. I was a kind of a hippy but not like that. I guess you could kind of take me as a softness, kind heart but with a blade to it. There are a couple of people I can talk to, one is in Tennessee. In fact, energetically he is probably the one person who knows that area of me. But really I don’t usually discuss much with many “practitioners” anymore. I think too, I don’t have any set exercises I am doing right now other than meditating. Just too busy. I have no notes to share. Just a break at work. And in writing I usually provide the therapy I require. Or at least a part of it. Things I have found out via these latest emails are:
    1. to be careful of being judgemental
    2. sexuality – perhaps I need to spend more time there – privately of course
    3. I am changing my structure re practise re energy and processes. Didn’t realize that till now.
    4. I am in prison. Well I knew that before. Kind of got a drift on that when I kept buying striped t-shirts. that is interesting. That could be the anger you hear. However not to worry, this prison is self inflicted (well, self-inflicted to a point) and it is for a good reason and it won’t be for too long. It is just the end of the week, I am very, very tired. The prison is required for a few more months.
    5. Even though I get very peeved off at being psychic sometimes, I really would not want it to change. Life would just be too boring.
    6. I am learning to differentiate between spriitual help, spiritual nuisances, invasive energetic manipulation, my higher self and divine energy. That could also be where the anger comes in. I don’t know…. people who say their guides are loving angels and they feel so blessed with them. I don’t get that. I must have really pissed someone off somewhere. My guides aren’t quite that way. Ah, but I guess I need a challenge. Who knows. Don’t get me wrong. They are very helpful and kind in their own way. But I certainly don’t get that warm fuzzy feeling, if you know what I mean. I have the type of guides who …. picture this…. you are in the dessert, you have no water, it is so dry and hot and you drop to your knees and you pray for help. And then you feel this energy come to you and then you feel this kick in the ass like you never felt before. And this voice in your ear, that says “get up on your feet!! NOW!!”. So you do. but it hurts a lot. And just as you stand up this native man on horseback just coming over the sand dune sees the top of your head so he trots his horse towards you, down the sand dune….. you turn, you see him and you think you are rescued. But what the hell, shit….he’s the slave trader from the last town you were in. Always a joke. Ony thing is, being human, its not so funny. That is sometimes where the anger comes in. You friggin know why you are where you are…. you fell for it all at a time when you were at your weakest. You know what the little voice in the ear tells you after the slave trader picks you up and puts you behind bars. “It’s okay dear, you are going to have quite the memorable experience and just think how much you will learn”. That’s not so funny. And believe me I am not being mental here. A psychic I didn’t even know said one of my guides had a strange sense of humor, another religious fellow said to get rid of my guides, they didn’t seem to be doing me too good. What a joke! Like here you go….have a good set of bed bug bites while you are in China … you’ll build your immunity. Like those kind of guides. I don’t get it.
    7. Truthfully I do push the envelope a bit. But I have found if I don’t I can get squashed and used. I am learning to temper a divine energy with compassion and strength and power. A lot of times I get too much of one or the other. It is hard to balance when I am tired. I have arguments. You would think I am crazy because I have arguments with something you can’t see. But the arguments teach me a lot. I tend to be stubborn.
    8. The only time I have a warm fuzzy feeling is when I am inside. When I am “there” and see the divine. That is so beautiful. But the guide part, I don’t get those angelic beings at all. I sometimes wish I did. But I also probably pissed them off a long time ago. those books of heavenly beings…ha,ha,ha. Well further up there are but not so much day to day stuff. And don’t tell me that guides don’t have egos, because that is NOT true. Not all of them.

    anyways, have begun to chatter and is time to go home.
    Thank you God! That is divine.

    December 10, 2010 at 7:19 pm #36016
    Moonglow
    Participant

    I can understand what you are saying Wendy. Sex was okay for me in my first relationship, but it didn’t feel right – but being young I didn’t see that. It felt not complete and there were many reasons for that which I won’t go into.
    Now, there is a completeness in my sexual relationship with my present partner I have had for the last 10 years. We have grown together in that area. It is nice. It is an understanding and it is natural. There is not more “not right”. So, yes, good sexual relationships can be very healing.

    December 11, 2010 at 7:41 pm #36018
    Steven
    Moderator

    No hard feelings and no worries.
    I know you weren’t intentionally trying to be mean;
    I just needed to establish some boundaries.
    That’s the part of me that’s not mushy ๐Ÿ˜‰

    In all seriousness, though, everybody has things to work on.
    It’s part of the great experiment and great experience.
    And you are not alone.
    We are all in it together.

    Also, feel free to continue posting.
    I’ve even found forum communication to be another vehicle
    for continued spiritual growth . . .
    Friends helping friends . . .
    Something to provide a balance against overly harsh guides ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Warm wishes,
    Steven

    December 11, 2010 at 8:18 pm #36020
    Steven
    Moderator

    I resonate with your post.

    When people are deeply in love, and when I say this,
    I’m talking DEEP SOUL LOVE . . .

    The situation becomes one where the only true desire one
    has . . . is to become as physically close to the other person
    as is humanly possible, the desire to merge your essence
    with other person’s, the desire to transfer the love and
    warmth from the heart directly to the other person’s heart
    (chest to chest, separated only by skin).

    Thoughts of yourself are minimal, as the overwhelming
    thought that is penetrating your whole being is a singular
    wish for the other person’s happiness, your wish for the
    other person to feel loved, for them to know in the core
    of their being of how much they are loved. The actual
    sex itself is just a convenient way of amplifying this
    intention and the transference of this feeling to the
    beloved. In this way, it moves both parties upward,
    heals both parties, and is the most blessed thing one can imagine.

    The thing that makes this the complete opposite of
    having “simple sex” for some carnal self-interest . . . is
    that in the first case, attention is completely on the other person;
    whereas in the second case, the attention is on one’s self.

    Having experienced both ends of the spectrum,
    DEEP SOUL LOVE is all I’m interested in, when it comes to two
    people having sex.

    Steven

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