Home › Forum Online Discussion › General › Seperating Orgasm from Ejaculation
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August 14, 2005 at 3:48 am #7350losboogieParticipant
I’m trying to learn to become multi orgasmic. I’ve been practicing exercises from “The Multi Orgasmic Man”. They are doing me some good. I almost instantly overcame my strong compulsion to ejaculate. And I no longer get blue balls, which I always had after long non-ejaculatory love sessions before reading this book. But I don’t think I’m anywhere near becoming multi orgasmic.
According to the book, the contractile phase of an orgasm comes before the ejaculatory phase. I’m supposed to be learning how to stop at the contractile phase, so that I don’t slip into the ejaculatory phase. Here’s the weird thing: when I practice self-pleasuring, I ejaculate first and then begin to have contractions.
Has anyone else had encountered this issue?
August 14, 2005 at 5:15 am #7351oldhParticipantMight be two different things going on here:
1. it is just precum and not semen
2. the prostate squeezes without you noting it as the contractions are too slightjust my thoughts
Harry
August 14, 2005 at 10:59 pm #7353spyrelxParticipantI agree with Harry. I’d bet it’s one of those.
1. Precum. Precum shouldnt’ be a lot, not like a full blown ejaculation. Also (at least with me) it tends to be less thick.
2. Prostate Squeezes. What this means is you are actually coming, at least a bit. When you start messing with you’re normal learned response (get excited, get hard, build up, ejaculate) all sorts of wierd things happen. Particularly when you start to build up energy. It’s almost as if you’re body really wants to shoot the semen no matter what (which, if you think about the evolutionary mandate for procreation, maybe it does).
So you might not even get that hard and find yourself ejaculating. Or you might ejaculate “a bit” and then still get hard. It’s all you’re body rewiring itself — and you learning more intimately about how your body reacts to things.
If it’s ejaculation rather than precum, you’re probably more excited than you know. I’d back off earlier, even if you’re soft, so that it takes you longer to get hard. This has helped me — though all bodies are a bit different.
August 16, 2005 at 3:02 pm #7355losboogieParticipantIt’s defiantly not precum. There is a lot of it, and after I ejaculate, I do have contractions, and I lose my erection.
I was just under the impression that the contractions were supposed to come first. I do get some involuntary contractions before I get to this point, but these are triggered when I touch my penis. I don’t get the ones that last 3-5 seconds after I stop stimulating myself, like the book talks about.
August 16, 2005 at 5:22 pm #7357spyrelxParticipantIt’s been a while since I’ve come, and even a longer while since I’ve come in my hand and paid close attention, so I’m having a bit of trouble remembering all the sequencing.
Also, I may not be understanding your question.
This I know. There is no way sperm can come out of your penis without contractions. It’s physically impossible. THAT’s what makes the sperm come out.
However, it doesn’t take much of a contraction to make sperm come out. It may be that you have deeper but much less noticable prostate area contractions that send the sperm out initially and then — after most of it is out — you get those kind of large penis/perenium/anus contractions that really signal the end of the ejaculation rather than the beginning.
I think the sort of contractions you’re talking about when you touch your penis before ejaculating are the penis/perenium/anus kind. Contractions of the large musculature of the genitals. This can trigger the more subtle contractions around the prostate that make you come but are not really the same contraction.
I’m not sure which — if any — contractions the book is telling you are good ones (I haven’t looked at the book in a while). I think the large penis/perenium/anus ones are OK to have and pleasurable, so long as they don’t trigger the deeper ones that make you come.
August 17, 2005 at 4:34 am #7359losboogieParticipantHere are the steps in the exercise, so that you can get a beter idea of what I’m trying to acomplish:
SEPARATING ORGASM FROM EJACULATION
1. Start by lubricating your penis, as you did in the Self-Pleasuring exercise.
2. Before focusing on your genitals, remember to touch and message the rest of your body, especially your belly, thighs, and nipples
3. Self-pleasure however you like, remembering to stimulate your entire penis, your scrotum, and your perineum.
4. Pay close attention to your arousal rate. Once again, try to notice your increasing levels of arousal: notice the tingling at the root of your penis, notice the stages of erection, notice your breathing change and your heartbeat rise.
5. As you feel yourself getting close to the point of no return, stop, breath, and lightly contract your PC muscle around your prostate. In addition , you also can delay your ejaculation by pressing on the Million-Dollar Point, by using the scrotal tug, by pressing on the tip of your penis, or simply by using your mind to squeeze the tip of your penis. You can experiment and see which of these techniques works best for you. Most important of all, however, is paying close attention to your arousal and stopping in time-at least a few strokes before the point of no return.
6. If you feel that your sexual energy is getting too wild and difficult to control, try to draw this energy up your spine with your mind, and squeeze and release your PC muscle several times. If you are still feeling too hot and out of control, stop for ten or twenty seconds and focus on deep breathing.
7. Try to notice the contraction of your PC muscle and anus that occurs at the contractile-phase orgasm.
8. After you have peaked several times without ejaculating, stop. You will feel peaceful and/or energized afterward. Try to notice your sexual energy circulating in your body, which you will feel as a tingling, itching, or prickling.August 17, 2005 at 8:50 am #7361oldhParticipantSee. I am with Spyrelx. Very likely the contractions are there without you noticing them. On the other hand you could have a medical condition. You might want to see an Urologist to get that checked.
About the above techniques I can only tell you what happens to me:
contacting the PC muscle leads to ejaculation.
pressing the Million Dollar point gets my prostate more stimulated and thereby leads much quicker to ejaculation.
tugging away the scrotum quickens my ejaculationyou’d be better off training the muscle are between coccxyx & anus, trying to separate it from all the other muscles. Best not to contract PC or rectal muscles inside except you want to charge up your lingam…
get the keysound CD from multiples.com and experiment with this
Harry
August 17, 2005 at 12:44 pm #7363spyrelxParticipantlosboogie,
Your first post said you’re problem is you ejaculate before contractions. As I’ve said, that’s not possible (though you can certainly have stronger contractions afterwards).
Your second post said: “I was just under the impression that the contractions were supposed to come first. I do get some involuntary contractions before I get to this point, but these are triggered when I touch my penis. As I said in my earlier post, you must contract around your prostate to ejaculate. The contractions you may be feeling when you touch your penis are larger muscle contractions of the penis/pcmuscle and perhaps anus.
You also said: I don’t get the ones that last 3-5 seconds after I stop stimulating myself, like the book talks about.”
There’s nothing in the 8 steps in your third post that talks about getting contractions 3-5 seconds after you stop stimulating yourself, so, again, I’m a little unclear on your issue.
Perhaps you’re talking about step 7. “Try to notice the contraction of your PC muscle and anus that occurs at the contractile-phase orgasm.”
Let me just go through my understanding of what these steps are trying to accomplish and perhaps it will clear some things up for you.
Basically, all thats required to ejaculate is to contract certain internal muscles around the prostate. This is why you can ejaculate even if your soft. However, other muscles in the entire urogenital area are usually also involved. There is all sorts of musculature in and around your penis, perineum and anus that swell and flex during arousal.
The prostate area muscles are usually not subject to conscious control, while the bigger pc muscles are. (e.g., if I said flex your penis, pc or anus you could do it. If I said flex your prostate, youd have a hard time).
However ALL this musculature is connected physically, eclectically and through nerve networks. So stimulation or contraction of one tends to stimulate and cause contractions of others. This is why after you come (prostate) some of your parts (PC) sometimes keep twitching and also why contracting your big muscles (PC) to pump up your penis can sometimes send you hurtling toward orgasm (prostate).
One thing youre trying to do with this practice is separate the big muscle contractions from the prostate area ones, so that one doesnt trigger the other. The big muscle contractions are pleasurable, help engorge your penis with blood, assist in sex and also can be used in assisting sending of energy up the spine. So they are all good to keep.
The prostate fluttering associated with ejaculation generally is unconscious, internal and not that physically noticeable (except for the ejaculate). Its basically only good for sending semen out and is generally to be avoided. [Im oversimplifying this a bit there are times you might want prostate contractions, even during sex but lets just keep it simple for now].
Step 7 says “Try to notice the contraction of your PC muscle and anus that occurs at the contractile-phase orgasm.”
What I think they are trying to get you to do is get to the edge of orgasm but then back off so that your prostate muscles dont contract but your larger muscles do. In other words, your body normally associates orgasm with the contraction of EVERYTHING and they are trying to get your body to drop the prostate contractions and just associate orgasm with PC contractions (thats where 99% of the pleasure lies anyway).
OK, how to do this?
Well, its not easy and no one I know has perfected it 100%. Heres some advice though.
Step 5 talks about various methods which are basically designed to confuse your nerve impulses. I don’t recommend the scrotal tug, the end of the penis pinch or the million dollar point for a variety of reasons that I won’t go into now. That leaves breath control, drawing energy up the spine with your mind, and squeezing the pc muscles (discussed in Steps 5 & 6).
Breath will calm you down and help disburse the energy (thats pretty much what the key sound is designed to do). Drawing energy up your spine is excellent, but takes practice and concentration.
Clenching or PC contractions are a complex issue.
The book initially advises all sorts of hard clenching to do the draw (teeth, legs, back, buttocks, strong pc, etc.). This is really designed to simply and roughly pull energy away from your genitals to keep you from coming (again to confuse and divert the nerves, blood flow, etc). This is an interesting beginning method to use, just to kind of show you whats possible and allow you to keep control
However, the real multiorgasmic work happens when you graduate to very light contracting/lifting of the pc muscles combined with drawing up the spine. This is a much gentler procedure, and more exact. If you can do this you can avoid ejaculation but often retain some of the spontaneous orgasm-related twitching/contracting of the penis and pc muscles. Ive actually done this where I end up with a dry come. That is, no ejaculation (internal or external) but my penis/pc/anus is twitching uncontrollably like Im orgasming. This is perhaps the sort of multiple orgasm that people talk about.
Personally, I find that in the midst of sex Im too busy and physically active to notice (or perhaps even have) this sort of dry come. Usually what happens is I avoid ejaculation and have a general all over pulsating feeling that comes in waves. For me these do not have the same WHIZ BANG! physical oomph of a regular ejaculatory orgasm, but are equally satisfying (particularly because they last longer).
OK, thats enough for now. Hope that helped.
August 17, 2005 at 9:05 pm #7365losboogieParticipantThis is extremely helpful. Thanks a lot.
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