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Shame about sexual feelings

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Home › Forum Online Discussion › Philosophy › Shame about sexual feelings

  • This topic has 24 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 15 years, 3 months ago by Steven.
Viewing 10 posts - 16 through 25 (of 25 total)
← 1 2
  • Author
    Posts
  • February 14, 2010 at 6:00 pm #33317
    singing ocean
    Participant

    The pure virtue qualities of cultivation do provide guidance though, it is true, to something that we can move towards, and grow in our lives.

    February 14, 2010 at 6:10 pm #33319
    Steven
    Moderator

    Thanks for linking that interview.
    It was worth watching.

    The little I’ve seen from that interview with Saida,
    gives me the feeling that she has some really
    healthy views toward sexuality. It’s quite
    refreshing actually.

    Thanks again,
    Steven

    February 14, 2010 at 6:22 pm #33321
    Steven
    Moderator

    >>>No, I’m not. I’m referring to the fact that
    >>>”understanding your true nature” is not a panacea to all problems.
    >>>**************************
    >>>Since I have never said that it is was and
    >>>certainly did not in my post, you are talking about
    >>>something different.

    Fair enough!

    >>>On these comments, I think I agree pretty much in full.
    >>>***********************************
    >>>YIPEEEEEE

    Always good to find some common ground, reaching a
    mutual point of contention 🙂

    >>>Nice chatting my friend

    As always,
    Steven

    February 15, 2010 at 5:53 am #33323
    Nnonnth
    Participant
    February 15, 2010 at 6:07 am #33325
    Nnonnth
    Participant

    (sorry hit return)

    … Mantak forewarded her jade egg book. Her Swimming Dragon demo on YouTube is recommended over porn any day.

    Some people go into themselves and have a look at what is really there; others are content to try go along with the majority, but it is the first who ultimately become deeply comfortable within themselves, not the second.

    There is all this (quite societally necessary) ‘supposed to’ stuff about sex, which varies massively with culture and period, but on the other hand — read Krafft-Ebing, Havelock Ellis, Kinsey, etc. There aren’t too many sexually ‘normal’ people around. One should be gentle with necessary hypocrisies in others, but once you get a handle on them in yourself, they tend to appear silly.

    Unvanquished peace of mind even when societally condemned

    February 15, 2010 at 6:48 pm #33327
    Steven
    Moderator

    This sort of goes off-topic, but reconnects . . .

    Something interesting happened today.

    Today someone totally screwed me over.
    It completely blindsided me, because I didn’t see it coming.
    I had been nice to the person, and I
    didn’t see they had ulterior motives.

    Needless to say, I could have legitimately gotten angry because
    the other person did something bad, but strangely enough
    I didn’t. I just smiled. I smiled externally and internally.
    It didn’t even require effort or a thought to do so; it was
    spontaneous.

    I realized in that moment that the other person’s actions had
    nothing to do with me whatsoever. Their actions were theirs
    alone, and I was merely observing their selfishness.

    Strangely enough, this had the miraculous effect of making
    me feel wonderful. All these discussions we’ve been having
    about shame, sexual issues, society, tensions etc. suddenly
    crystallized.

    I realized, why the FUCK do I give a SHIT what other people
    think about me? (excuse my language, but it felt particularly
    appropriate here 🙂 ) The application arising from the concept
    that what other people do, think, say has very little to do
    with me personally whatsoever–just like what happened today.

    Anything that someone else thinks, says, or does, is
    ultimately THEIR DEAL, not mine.

    That doesn’t mean that suddenly I’m now going to be
    non-compassionate or disrespectful to others: quite the
    contrary, as I try to see others with compassion and intend
    to continue to do so. That’s who I am. However, I suddenly
    no longer feel any shame, guilt, need for approval, etc.
    with regard to anything–sexual or non-sexual for that matter.
    I now feel that as long as I feel good about myself, and feel
    that I’m being true to who I am, that the rest is irrelevant.

    It’s interesting how in one single moment your life can
    change. It’s interesting how a terrible situation ended
    up being better medicine than all the alchemy I’ve done
    up to this point.

    The Tao gave me exactly what I needed today, and I am grateful.

    Steven

    February 16, 2010 at 5:56 am #33329
    Nnonnth
    Participant

    <>

    Exactly what I meant… did you ever read Chuang Tzu? Sure you would enjoy it.

    February 16, 2010 at 8:29 am #33331
    qtface
    Participant

    I don’t think it’s off topic at all but i bet all your alchemical work has made it possible for the TAO life force to assist you in this way.
    I’ve recently had a somewhat similar experience. I applied for a new job & didn’t get it. First time ever I’ve been turned down, I’m used to getting what i want. Next morning in fusion practice my shadow self is ASKING to integrate. How cool is that? What I’ve gained from this “loss” is of immeasureable value.

    February 16, 2010 at 11:42 pm #33333
    Steven
    Moderator

    >>>did you ever read Chuang Tzu? Sure you would enjoy it.

    No, not really. I’ve only heard snippets ala “the Butterfly Dream”.
    Usually I don’t really philosophical stuff since I find it to
    be a little abstract, i.e. non-pragmatic, i.e. unless I can
    experience it, it doesn’t resonate. But then again, I’ve never
    really read it, so I really can’t judge it either.

    S

    February 16, 2010 at 11:47 pm #33335
    Steven
    Moderator

    You’re definitely right about the cultivation.
    It was probably the cultivation that made me ripe to
    capitalize on the moment in question.

    Also, my condolences on your unsuccessful job acquisition,
    or should I say congratulations on the magnificent
    reward you got instead! Great to hear!

    Best,
    Steven

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