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This one is for you Steven:
The immortal and the future events all happened in a yin fase after Nei Gong practice. The mind was empty, still and open. In my deepest empty states the deepest events happened, because of that it took me a long time again before ‘daring’ to empty my mind out of ‘fear’ that something would happen.
That is why empty mind practice is not to be taken lightly and needs some serious grounding practice.Anyways… the story…
Michaels teaching in a full class room, sitting on a chair in a circle, in the yin practice after doing Nei Gong, I was empty and in complete inner silence.
I felt a presence behind me, first at the outer border of my body, skin touch, a clear feeling of a body behind me. I was shocked to feel someone so close and wondered if this was someone from the class, it was not. Everyone was sitting in silence. The ‘person’ nestled himself even closer in my body, like he was entering in the back of my body, putting his hands on my breasts which almost made me jump off the chair. But I settled with it and allowed him to do this.Then an internal conversation started. At some point he asked if I wanted the power: his voice was clear saying: ‘Do you want the power?’ Knowing though that dealing with entities who offer you something… they want something, so I did not bite and kept silent. Yet the energy started to rise in my body as he moved deeper in my body, which made me breath more deeply to handle it. He asked again and I did not respond because I had no clue what he would do or offer and what the price of that ‘gift’ would be.
He asked the last time and I knew this was the final offer, a sort of take or leave it feeling came over me. I was in doubt yet my intuition and interest told me I could go for it and I answered YES.
The moment I agreed he entered in me fully, meaning his penis entered me, his hands on my breasts and there was ‘love making’ on the chair in a full class room. A part of me was in shock and I was sure everyone could see this, but looking around, everyone was in their own silence.I was in shock because this was his ‘gift’? The power he offered? Having sex?
Only much later the understanding of this gift started to make sense.He did gave me full understanding/feeling of spiritual sexual intercouse and yang energy, something I was dealing with and have been dealing with since.
At that time though my body was in shock, at the dinner table I hardly could hear or see the people around me, he was still in me and I could not handle the world in a normal way. I remember though that Michael was sitting at my table and that he put his foot on my feet to ground myself, but at the same time it also grounded the immortal deeper in my body, because by then it felt like it was about to leave because of my inability to hold that much energy in my undeveloped body.
Not able to eat and being off the world, I have been put on a couch.
Later on Michael started to ask questions to him and I answered them, yet confused about the images and things I saw before my inner eye.Because meanwhile the immortal started to paint on my body. With black ink he put signs all over my body ( energetically of course) like tattoos he covered the whole of my body, saying this was protection for the future… little did I know about what was about to come later.
So my attention was partly with Michael and his questions, another part was totally soaked in what the immortal was doing to my body.As a sort of final act he put an energy token in my thymus gland, again to protect me for the future events.
He put the same token in Michaels chest.
He worked on the liver of another person, Peter, present. I remember him sobbing and crying hard when ‘we’ worked on his liver while he was sitting next to me on the couch. A couple of weeks later this person decided to change his life and leave the center where he was working for the last several years.Another person, who I considered to be a friend and was also present in the room, got nothing from the immortal. I felt that person could not receive any ‘gifts’ because his mind was not open for this energy. He looked with unbelieve and had no trust in the process and so he did not receive. Some years later he expressed his distrust he felt during the event and still could not believe it.
On a question why he came to me in particular, he said I was once his wife and that he came to protect me for the future and to give me strength (power) to fulfill my path in this life. I never ever gave it any thought any more after that, until last night talking with my lover Chris about this.
I do have a strong inner sense of where I am going but I also give myself a lot time to grow into it, as well, I am dealing with my normal life things, like raising three teenage daughters. They know little about my ‘other’ life and I like to keep it that way. I know though that when they will have their own lives, my life will change and I will walk my ‘other’ path fully.
For that reason I divorced and find myself in a deep relationship with Chris (Voice on this forum) who is able to understand and walk with me this ‘other’ path.
I needed a partner who is open and able to be surrounded by immortal beings.
You can ask him how it feels to him.Hi Wendy,
That was an extremely intimate sharing, and I appreciate
deeply your willingness to share it. It takes a lot
of courage and trust to share something so personal
with strangers, so I thank you sincerely.>>>In my deepest empty states the deepest events happened,
>>>because of that it took me a long time again before
>>>’daring’ to empty my mind out of ‘fear’ that something would happen.That’s completely understandable. Fear is one of our
most primal emotions. We are intensely curious, but
at the same time we are afraid of what will happen if
we get exposed to the unknown. I can totally identify.>>>He did gave me full understanding/feeling of spiritual
>>>sexual intercouse and yang energy, something I was
>>>dealing with and have been dealing with since.I have to wonder if this is one of the reasons why you
seem so mature with your attitudes toward sexual energy,
and if there is any connection between this and your
“crusade” as you called it, to have that energy cast
as the beautiful that it is. What’s your feeling?>>>Another person, who I considered to be a friend
>>>and was also present in the room, got nothing
>>>from the immortal. I felt that person could not
>>>receive any ‘gifts’ because his mind was not open for this energy.It’s strange how attitude can change our experiences so much.
There have been instances when I’ve been “close-minded”
about something, and then later become more open-minded.
Then, as a result, to suddenly become aware of new things.
What’s weird is that oftentimes I’d recognize that I wasn’t
just hearing or experiencing these things for the first time,
but rather I had always been experiencing them, I just
didn’t “notice” them or “hear” what was being said before.
It’s as if the things weren’t new, so much as I was having
“cataracts removed” and/or “gummed-up ears to be unplugged”.
So, in other words, in your friend’s case, his attitude
was blocking the signal.It’s funny, because those that are close-minded, don’t “get it”
on a deeper level–and so then because they don’t get it,
this “confirms” their views of being close-minded to begin with,
and so can solidify their thinking.>>>They know little about my ‘other’ life and I like to
>>>keep it that way. I know though that when they will
>>>have their own lives, my life will change and I will
>>>walk my ‘other’ path fully.I totally get this.
I myself am “walking between two worlds” that way.
In one life, I’m a PhD student studying math–the
most logical, deductive, rational type of person.
In that world, people don’t accept anything without
rigorous proof and is about as straight and narrow
as you can get. In the other life, I do Healing Tao
practices, explore the spiritual, open up to direct
experience, and try to have an open mind. I try to
keep the two lives separate, because in particular
most of my friends, colleagues, etc. in the math world
would think I was absolutely nuts otherwise. And the
thing is, is that I can actually see the world from
their point of view, and can understand where they
are coming from. So I totally get it, but I also
can see its limits; I can walk the other path and
can see how in the first path, how you can miss the forest
by staring at the trees.As such, I also have the intuitive feeling that as I get closer
to finishing my degree and I get closer to reaching the
frontiers of what is known mathematically, that the
“second life” will take a more dominant place in my life.Thanks once again Wendy for taking the time and having
the courage to post your experience.My best to you,
StevenHello Steven
Isn’t it so also that many mathematicians are opened minded to other kind of experience than the “logical”.
If you are a wery good mathematician you have to develope an arsenal of perseption and understunding of math. You have to understund the meaning of intuition. And to learn to partially be dependent on the intution before you can logically verify new concepts and ideas and solutions. This thing should do you more opened minded than narrow minded, as I see it.
There might be an difference in all to accademic mathematical thinking, perhaps though. If you are trapped in studying one subject in the world of axioms followed by deductive and inductive thinking, you might get trapped and think that anything that is not weryfied in a system is somehow muddled.
But if you understund the meaning of GΓΆdels theorem you might have to see things in another perspective and also be more opened minded to other things and aspects of life as well.
Well I write a bit muddy myself. The short thing I want to say is that I think that the mathematicians that are realy good and creative also have to be opened mainded, but the majority is not that creative perhaps and that might chape a false atmosphere, field, of sceptisism against other ways of seeing the world.
S D
As for spiritual beliefs, I’d say the group is dominated
by atheists (in the close-minded group) and
by agnostics (in the open-minded group).
Then secondary to these, is another group of
narrow-minded conservative Christians.I’d say that for the most part, the agnostics are
probably the most open-minded, but even they tend
to be pretty skeptical and non-accepting of anything
that’s not mainstream.If you want to be able to function in that world
and be accepted, you really have to keep open-minded
views to yourself and to your private life. Otherwise,
you lose credibility and are dismissed as a nut job.Wendy, thanks for sharing your experiences. I enjoyed reading it as it was a good reminder of not taking life for granted as a 9-5 thing. Also I enjoyed reading it as if I was sharing the experience through your post. If you are interested in sharing any more with us it would be a treasure to read it but would understand if you didn’t. Thanks.
Balance and harmony
Hi Steven
Seems to me you need the healingdao forum π
Are you socialising with the people mentioned privately also or are the contacts with them just proffessional?
“”””If you want to be able to function in that world
and be accepted, you really have to keep open-minded
views to yourself and to your private life. Otherwise,
you lose credibility and are dismissed as a nut job. “””””””Well you have to choose the people you talk about sertain things with carefully. Lao-tzu if he excisted, did tell something like “you have to treate your exercises as the most presious secret…”
S D
>>>Seems to me you need the healingdao forum π
Yeah, maybe.
Although I’ve been thinking I might take an extended
break from posting for awhile, and leave it to you, Dog, and Wendy.For one, I think I gave too many people the wrong idea
about me from those anal sex posts unfortunately.
For two, I think I inadvertently pissed off some people
along the way–most recently, bagua–who didn’t catch me at
my best.
For three, I’ve probably annoyed a good number by my recent
flood of posts.Are you socialising with the people mentioned privately also or are the contacts with them just proffessional?
“”””If you want to be able to function in that world
and be accepted, you really have to keep open-minded
views to yourself and to your private life. Otherwise,
you lose credibility and are dismissed as a nut job. “””””””Well you have to choose the people you talk about sertain things with carefully. Lao-tzu if he excisted, did tell something like “you have to treate your exercises as the most presious secret…”
S D
>>>Seems to me you need the healingdao forum π
Yeah, maybe.
Although I’ve been thinking I might take an extended
break from posting for awhile, and leave it to you, Dog, and Wendy.For one, I think I gave too many people the wrong idea
about me from those anal sex posts unfortunately.For two, I think I inadvertently pissed off some people
along the way–most recently, bagua–who didn’t catch me at
my best.For three, I’ve probably annoyed a good number by my recent
flood of posts.For FOUR, I accidentally hit return, and it made a post too
early before I ready. ARGGH . . . How funny. That makes
the previous comment even more fitting.>>>Are you socialising with the people mentioned privately also or are the contacts >>>with them just proffessional?
Mostly just professional . . .
>>>Well you have to choose the people you talk about
>>>sertain things with carefully. Lao-tzu if he excisted,
>>>did tell something like “you have to treate your exercises
>>>as the most presious secret…”Makes sense.
Steven
Hi all,
No need to take a break. Your contributions are welcome here and appreciated. So a subject that was touchy to some came about, so what? Don’t be changed by it, keep posting as you always do. You tried to provide pertanent information. So far every road I’ve been driving on eventually has a bump or pothole π
On a side note, the other party came across strong but some of what was said if you are able to read into it might be interesting. Why traditionally do Chinese men not give oral to women?
Peace
Steven,
I do not see a reason why you would take a break other than your own need for silence for a while.
Bagua was not exactly ‘polite’, so your reaction was fair and Paolino’s trademark is to shout, riot and be intentionally rude, in between all his shouting he makes some worthy comments. Just a matter of ignoring his riot and read his true wisdom between the lines and take his crap with lightness and smiles.
Your words are truthful and coming from a good, warm and heartful place. If it was not for you, I don’t think I would have told the immortal story. It has been the first time that I exposed it this way.
Yet I also feel that my other future encounters are way beyond ‘normal’ and a forum like this is not giving it enough ‘ground’ to tell it openly. I hope you understand my resistance.
Yet I did talk about a part of it in the thread with Swedish Dragon about the Green dragons. The posting ‘Dragon real or imagination’ is another partly exposure.Please reconsider, I like you here.
Hello Steven
I think you are owerreacting. If people get wrong ideas about you in this kind of posting it is realy theire problem and not yours.
I find your posts worth alot to me personally and am shore that they are to alot of others as well.
On the other side you are wery active on the forum perhaps you have personal reasons to take a breake. If so do it and come back when you feel the time is right. I’ll be the first to welcome you back then. π
S D
>>>He did gave me full understanding/feeling of spiritual
>>>sexual intercouse and yang energy, something I was
>>>dealing with and have been dealing with since.””””I have to wonder if this is one of the reasons why you
seem so mature with your attitudes toward sexual energy,
and if there is any connection between this and your
“crusade” as you called it, to have that energy cast
as the beautiful that it is. What’s your feeling? ”””””YES, it just took me over 10 years to understand it…
I understand better why Taoists strive for a long and healthy life, you need some time to understand, digest and integrate π
And I am definite one of those of the ‘sloooooow’ path.Yet crusade sounds like fighting, I am a ‘lover’, so lets call it queste.
And thank you for understanding the ‘trust’ part to share these things, I very much appreciate your appreciation.
‘Our glory has nothing to do with our appearance or our occupation. Our special qualities come from an inner source. We must take care to open and bloom naturally and leisurely and keep to the center. It is from there that all mystery and power come and it is good to let it unfold in its own time.’
Β-Deng Ming-Dao
For Steven:
Stay in your own beautiful center and from there you will attrack what you need to unfold deeper and more rich than you can imagine, with patience, awe and love. Your inner world is yours and only yours, at the same time a wonderful gift to the world.
WendyHello Steven:
I suggest you do no let anything I have written influence your decision to take a break or not, my posts should be irrelevant to that decision.
Attune to your Yuan Shen, the terrain for all life to manifest and unmanifest and let that lead to decision making and spontaneous actions.
Smiling in the tao,
bagua
Hi Steven,
I just wanted to add that I have nothing but warm hearted feeling for you posts. I have always seen you as someone who puts a lot of energy into really giving people very thoughtful answers to the best of your ability. And I do find the reactions from some people as rude, immature and unappreciative of the basic fact that you take the time to respond to them at all. So I understand if you need to take a break as the energy you spend here takes your own resource and then to have to deal with some of these responses I don’t blame you. But you also have to be selective in dealing with certain people in certain ways. I find you to be very sincere in your posting here.
Best,
Damon
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