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Hello.
I work alot with my master thesis work, and have not much time to be involved here.
I thought I just tell you my situation today:
Have some trouble finding time to practise. But when I do I do alot iron shirt and some eight pieces of a brocade.
Have evolved in the iron shirt. I can stand in a position with the hands on my head for 81 breaths. My goal is 100. But I have some bad feelings coming up when doing it. Somethimes I am quite exhausted when doing the iron shirt. So I like it and not like it in the same time. I like it now when I am able to stand a bit longer than before and that I have learned to relax in the positions, at least a bit. I also thing that it connects me to my illness and might perhaps be a part of a solution.
The eight brocades is wery nice to do. It makes me wery calm. I will film me with 8 brocades and my friend with the willow waist soon and send it to His Lai. Then we continue with new courses.
Unfortunately, I use cofe and it often makes me wery unballanced. Even thoug a maximum at two cups a day. I have decided that I am allowed to drink it during my master thesis work and then no more.
I have a plan to continue the master thesis work to about september or at the latest october this year. And try to follow a sheme for what to do each mounth. I will work quite much at march to midsummer. Pehaps a bit to much. Then continue and finissh the thesis.
Unfortunately I have used porn for some times, but have finished again. Not liking it. Feel about the same bad feelings as Michael Winn have written about in hes writings about his wife.
In my mind I have an idea that after the master thesis is completed I will increase things involved with my health. In the town I live in there is an herbalist woman from china, that I also will seak help from. Perhaps I will increase the gigong also. It is nothing I have decided jet, but I am thinking that this would be the best for me. I also have a longing for more serious qigong. If I do everything in the white tigress system, then it will be much. It should be interesting to see what happens if going into it more deep. Well we see what happens.
Not in the tao for the momoent.
S D
Actually I made it to 100 breaths today. Are wery happy about it. It did seem impossible from the start.
With an iron shirt stance with the hands interlooked and on the head. Elbows held so that they are at a 180 degrees angle, seen from above.
Next goal is to do 100 on each different stance. Or to try to do it everytime I practise.
It was not difficult for me today to do the 100’s. I could have continued. I tried to dissolve some blockage in the shoulder neck area. And manage perhaps a bit. Looks like this exercises works. But I did sweat profoundly.
S D
I find counting to take my attention away from relaxing deeper and deeper. Try one time just doing bone breathing and breathing from the earth and Dan tien at first relaxing smiling deeper and deeper. Ask mother earth to help ground and open your energy body, start communicating with your energy body and mother earth asking for healing and grounding, invite in the soul heart mind and essence of a tree or trees in general to help guide you and support you, ask for a blessing from them. then just focus of surrendering deeper and deeper you may come to a point where you are no longer breathing physically. You can also see your self in your dan tain grounding and relaxing perfectly aligned and radiantly healthy this may also help. I also recommend tapping and tendon work if you are not doing so all ready. Can you smile & relax in the face of adversity? Hope this helps.
Thx. It seem to be a deeper approach. I can’s say for the moment if it will change my practise. But anyway thx for it might help me to go a step further. We’ll see.
S D
Hello dog. (again)
After some sleeping I had was thinking about this again. I do the practises in two wais. The one I tould you about counting breaths. The other is doing some meditation, it will be fusion soon. I practise from Yudeloves book “Taoist yoga and sexual energy.
I have decided how many times I will practise each exercise, but not exactly when to do them. This way of doing it helps me to realy do the exercises and not to find excuses to do other things. But I realise that the aproach is rather rigid also. I see it for me as a yang way of practise, to desaid which practises to do. The yin way is to feel what I need for the moment. I do both, but when following the book with the yoga group I have been doing the yang apprach almost ever. But not when traveling to my job by bus, then the practises on the bus is completely free 🙂
When doing the iron shirt, which for me is the most difficult practises from mantak chias first courses, I have some problems feeling energy or doing energy work. But when I do the aproach with the meditation, I beginning to learn to feel into the body. So in that sence the just standing counting and the meditation complement eachother. Perhaps for me at the moment just standing counting is sufficient. But feeling into the energies makes the practise deeper.
Perhaps I should add your approach with the energy and softly asking the mother earth to help open up my energy as a new alternative. Interesting. But somewhere in myself I am litle bit afraid of the irons shirt practises, something is happening with me and I can not realy comprehend what for the moment. But there is also some reason that I have to take it a litle bit slow with the iron shirt practises. Steven also noticed that I have some resistance against it. Well doing universal tao practise nearly each day for 9 years and first now being able to do iron shirt regularly tells you somthing.
S D
Hi SD,
Good to see you still around! 🙂
Here is something to consider:
>>I have decided that I am allowed to drink it during my
>>master thesis work and then no more.>>In my mind I have an idea that after the master thesis
>>is completed I will increase things involved with my health.This is your mind talking. Tomorrow never arrives.
S
Coffee is my worst enemy, it does give a boost to do things when I am tired but it also takes away the energy flow with life. It makes a part of me hard and more tied, which of course helps me to accomplish things but it is taking away a deeper joy and flow. It makes me less enjoyable for people around me, although it operates on a subtle level, for my lover it is clear when I drink it and it makes him and me unhappy because it veils the energy flow between us (since we live an ocean apart from each other the energy flow is an important tool for us to feed the deep connection). So even living on different continents coffee is a very bad helper in terms of energy and connection.
What a very strange contradiction since coffee is THE number one drink to connect people at work, family gatherings, meetings, bars…
Is there a part in us that needs to harden itself by drinking coffee? Do we feel the need to protect our subtle energy when we are around other people ? We use the social act of coffee drinking to connect but in fact we drink it to protect ourself and be alert … Just a thought…
While I can’t necessarily disagree with
Wendy’s comments against coffee, because
there’s a lot of truth in what she said,
I wasn’t focusing so much on the coffee part
as the mental pattern I picked up on.My comment has to do with a “strategy”
that a lot of us are guilty of doing, namely:“I’ll allow myself to continue to not change,
because I’ve made a promise that I *will* change
in the *future* after XXX happens.”This is a mental trap. Tomorrow never arrives.
There will always be *some* reason why you “just have
to wait until later” before the conditions are “right”
to change your behavior.In other words, this is just resistance, and you are
allowing your mind to run the show and fool yourself.Regardless of whether you drink coffee or not, which
is always a fun discussion in itself, recognize how
your mind is your own worst enemy.S
One thing I think is useful when examining one’s coffee
use (or nonuse) is to ask yourself the following questions:“What is so important that I have to force my body
to work harder than it will allow naturally? And why
am I placing such an importance on it to begin with?
In the big picture, can this really be that important
that I have to `make myself’ do more? Why am I placing
such a high importance on something outside of me?”Drinking coffee to perk up and get more energy is like
trying to prevent the natural need for rest from occurring.And preventing the natural from occurring is unnatural.
In other words, you’re placing the importance on the wrong things . . .
S
Another question we can ask ourself is why we take substances inside our body knowing they have their own ´lives´- chemistry – in our body. Once inside us they act out their nature and we have to submit to that nature. So we allow something to rule our personal nature. My ex called alcohol a devil inside of him, once it was in his body it changed into a devil without him having control over it.
So again why do we submit to substances that take over… it has a flavor of not taking responsability for ourself and allowing substances/energies to rule…Instead of surrendering to love for ourself, we surrender to a destructive tendancy we seem to have in our programming… again just a thought…
I was going to write more. Like most things in the west it is over processed mixed with sugar, and taken to extremes. It also was taken out of its culture some cultures like my Puerto Rican/Cuban side of the family including my self really do not get the great boost of energy, in fact to this day I could have a cup or two and fall fast asleep. I thought you might like the perspective, try mixing coffee with other things then sugar and creme, see if it is also the warmth that is the attraction. Coconut milk, honey, cacao, cayenne peper, fruits, have fun make smoothies.
Thanks for all this!
Some parts of mee know you all tell me the right ting, or tell all beacase this is realy general.
My goal have been to take the PHD in the subject I study. But the way I have act to come to the goal have made me ill. Today I do some mistakes probably also to achive the goal. For the time being the worst mistake is the cofe coming from the urge to do more than I for the moment should do.
Anyway today I was happy. The tutor (or supervisor or instructor from lexicon) I work with today ask me if I want to take a lisentiate degree (Is it rigth in English, I call it a half PHD) and if so then he should work for it to be possible with money and so. I was happy beacase my feeling have been that he not was so happy with my work, and that is a reason why I want to work hard. (Inner feeling that might have been wrong). My plan have as I told you to work hard now and to do so good master thesis work so that I woud have the possibility to continue with a PHD if I later want to. This is I guess the first time and only time I have been doing things against my health. With the thought of giving me changes again later to do all I can to be better. I understund what you say about it will never happen, I understund the meaning of that sentence. And I see that I do wrong in my thinking right now. But still I think it might happen after the master thesis work, but it might be better to start emediately.
So say if he tells me that I can start to work at the institution, I can’t do it rigth now, beacase I haven’t a working condition, my mind, to do it wihtout hurthing my health. So the only thing to do if I should try to start is to change my habbits. But also it might be better to wait some years to get better first. The reson why is that doing a PHD or similar is a sitution that triggers me to do it the best I can, and that makes preassure on my health. A pressure that for the moment not at all is good to have, the adranal problem realy worsen with it. And also realy with cofe.
I just talks freely to you right know and I think I should myself be able to write the critisism you might write on this, still I’m shore I need to hear it.
One paradox for instance is that my hard working attidude that I have done to be able to do the thing I want is the thing that have stoped me being able to do it!
I remember once some years ago when I met a woman that was around 50, she also had a burned out codittion but still she was working with a giant teather or dance show project, and the project nearly killed her. So why do you do it, I asked her. I do it beacase now came the change that I couldnt miss. I said to here, there will always be chanses, but if you act like you do now you can’t take them beacase you will be to ill and tiered. Ironically that is exactly the same thing I do in my life.Anyway I think the situation I am in is interesting, I am happy that you time after time is responding to the same issue, like the cofe issue. Happy to hear your comments. Waiting to see when my innner decisions will be wise again 🙂 🙂 🙂
S D
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