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Hi Alexander,
The only thing I didn’t like was how you said I was judgmental. It seems like I judge because I am trying to properly clarify what things are, like what lust is. I think the problem with me is that I look at “what is” from a position of “what should be.” It’s why I debate so much.
For example, I don’t agree on Bagua’s views about Dao. He says he is a Daoist so I attempt to properly and perhaps over-persistently clarify what it is, but I do it forcefully by saying what it is to me. I think this is why Wendy, at first, said I was arrogant but later said I was a wild horse. I will work on this.
So, I usually try to clarify things based on my relation or experience with certain things. This is what art is to me, relating your art with everything else. Everything is interrelated and I choose to express myself through martial arts, an earth-based, bodily art.
You are right, it is self-cultivation, a gradual process like all things and through this art, you can relate to any process in reality as you keep bettering yourself in the art. As you learn to resolve yin-yang tension (the battle within) through the art, you can relate that very same experience to any part of life, even inner alchemy. So it is all about learning about the self.
Lao Tsu said, knowing the self is enlightenment. Art is an enlightening work! It’s why I really didn’t like how you said I was invested in control just because I practice martial arts. It is parallel to all things in life to me. And I like this art because it relates outer conflict (fight) with inner conflict.
One Daoist said to me that to follow Dao, we must first begin following Earth, and martial arts is one excellent way of doing that.
Mettta means loving kindness, Max told me that one. It comes from the Pali language. A beautiful word, ay?(I’m from Canada, ay?)
Well, Metta to you Alexander,
Fajin“The only thing I didn’t like was how you said I was judgmental. It seems like I judge because I am trying to properly clarify what things are, like what lust is. I think the problem with me is that I look at ‘what is’ from a position of ‘what should be.’ It’s why I debate so much.”
That’s it exactly, Fajin. When you say “should,” you ARE judging. Not, it “seems” like you are. Our opinions are not facts. You nor I REALLY know what anything is. This is the Dao that can’t be told. Pietro’s comment to you is similar, right?
Wanting to label, define, etc., etc. is all a form of control coming from our basic unresolved insecurity about being itsy bitsy human beings in an unbelievably enormous and powerful universe. Yet our job is to allow ourselves to realize we are IT. That’s what the alchemy formulas are here for.
“For example, I don’t agree on Bagua’s views about Dao. He says he is a Daoist so I attempt to properly and perhaps over-persistently clarify what it is,”
Why? Ask yourself, “Why is this important to do?”
“but I do it forcefully by saying what it is to me. I think this is why Wendy, at first, said I was arrogant but later said I was a wild horse. I will work on this.”
I remember that. A Korean healer once told me I was like a wild horse and I knew she meant I was intense about life rather than being relaxed about it. The horse, of course, is the quintessential symbolic animal for Mars, planet of power. “Who” is going to work on that? Your agressive side or your Beingness? That’s been my point all along.
“So, I usually try to clarify things based on my relation or experience with certain things. This is what art is to me, relating your art with everything else. Everything is interrelated and I choose to express myself through martial arts, an earth-based, bodily art.”
I have no judgment against martial arts done in the spirit of play. But you repeatedly refer to “battling” yourself ((“As you learn to resolve yin-yang tension (the battle within)…”)) and I have simply been saying that that is a counterproductive attitude. This is where the whole thing started with regards to Wendy. You wanted her to control what her kids did and she knew that was not right. I think you just don’t see (yet) how focussed on control you really are. This is a mental fixation.
That is not to say that you aren’t genuinely loving and warm too. My view of you is not that onesided. I feel the openheartedness in many of your responses and suggestions to people here. But when I hear you describe how you have 650 pounds of weight on your knees in a horse stance I cannot but wonder if this isn’t coming from a need to be strong rather than a fun thing you do. One simply does not have to work that hard to become oneself.“One Daoist said to me that to follow Dao, we must first begin following Earth…”
Yes, I agree. And Earth is not in battle with Heaven. They are Lovers. The battle is in our heads. Earth is receptive. To follow Her means to allow what is.
“Mettta means loving kindness, Max told me that one. It comes from the Pali language. A beautiful word, ay?(I’m from Canada, ay?)”
Thanks. It is a beautiful word. Canada is a big place. Where exactly? As you know from spying (smile) on me, I live in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
Metta,
AlexanderHi Alexander,
You are very interesting to explore with. You seem to know much about my personality, perhaps because you are similar to me. Glad I discovered you, we can help each other.
>>Why? Ask yourself, “Why is this important to do?”<>I have no judgment against martial arts done in the spirit of play. But you repeatedly refer to “battling” yourself ((“As you learn to resolve yin-yang tension (the battle within)…”)) and I have simply been saying that that is a counterproductive attitude. This is where the whole thing started with regards to Wendy. You wanted her to control what her kids did and she knew that was not right. I think you just don’t see (yet) how focussed on control you really are. This is a mental fixation.<>But when I hear you describe how you have 650 pounds of weight on your knees in a horse stance I cannot but wonder if this isn’t coming from a need to be strong rather than a fun thing you do. One simply does not have to work that hard to become oneself.<>Yes, I agree. And Earth is not in battle with Heaven. They are Lovers. The battle is in our heads. Earth is receptive. To follow Her means to allow what is.<>Canada is a big place. Where exactly?<<
*Vancouver, B.C.
I am enjoying this, let's keep exploring, you and I will learn alot from each other, I am, are you?
Smiling in the Dao,
Fajin“>>Why? Ask yourself, “Why is this important to do?”<<"
When I suggested this question it was in reference to what you said about Bagua:
"He says he is a Daoist so I attempt to properly and perhaps over-persistently clarify what it is"
I suggest you answer my question for yourself. You seem to want to avoid it. I think it is most important and it is one I am asking myself all the time about everything, even this conversation with you: Why is it important to "clarify what it is?"
Our ego minds are always busy busy busy.
"explain the path of least resistance. The Dao cannot be told, but the path that goes in accordance with the Dao, which is the path of least resistance, can be told"
It can be pointed to.
The path of least resistance IS the Dao."In conflict, we use yin against yang. The battle or yin-yang tension must be resolved, I don't understand why you think this is control."
I keep saying that it is an inter-play seeking resolve not a battle seeking a victory. You keep referring to it as a battle. I think this is a viewpoint that keeps you in conflict. You seem to like that, which is why I originally, way back when, told you that you and Bagua were "arguing". The tone of that is very different than two people exchanging ideas and growing. I believe you both have an investment in fighting and that it is feeding your egos. My suggestion then, as now, is to look at this instead of arguing about it.
At higher levels the tensions are not so great as they are here and things reflect the harmony of the Whole better. Here in 3-D, the tension between yin and yang (which are not trying to fight but to merge) is great because, as Michael explains, the yuan chi has become so diluted through so much manifesting into the projection of creation. 10,000 things have actually become 10,000,000 things and the source chi is not sufficient to hold the center for beings well. THUS- we have to attend to it because it doesn't come automatically.
"I did not try to control what Wendy's kids did, I was only suggested what she could do. I only tried to help her, it is her choice what to do. How is this control?"
You expressed strong words against porn and lust and your suggestion was to keep them from watching it and having those feelings. I think you either do not see this or are denying it. Both Pietro and I tried unsuccessfully to dissuade you. My suggestion was that you refrain from making judgments and allow instead. The controlling I have been referring to is in the attitude there. It is apparent that you believe that to strongly intercede in what wants to happen (the kids' desire to explore porn, for one instance) will be good, but in fact, the desire to interfere in another's path IS a desire to control what one has in onesself because one judges it to be bad and dangerous. That is the ego mind's bid for power, not your beingness, which is broad, all accepting and complete. Following THAT is following the Dao. The rest is your lower mind trying to control YOU.
This is what I am refering to in any conversational context about control.
One learns to pay attention to the demands of the control voice which pulls you around by the mind. Sitting still and not doing, are the cures because then you are "aligning" with the natural Way. But if you do this to make yourself better, to grow more, to change something, you are not really doing it at all."I am enjoying this, let's keep exploring, you and I will learn alot from each other, I am, are you?"
Yes, I am. But I am doing much more writing lately than I intended and I don't like sitting at the computer this long regularly so I am going to do less now.
Sending the clear light of the high desert to you,
AlexanderAlexander,
Your reply has revealed much about you.
>>I suggest you answer my question for yourself. You seem to want to avoid it. I think it is most important and it is one I am asking myself all the time about everything, even this conversation with you: Why is it important to “clarify what it is?”<>It can be pointed to.
The path of least resistance IS the Dao.<>I keep saying that it is an inter-play seeking resolve not a battle seeking a victory. You keep referring to it as a battle. I think this is a viewpoint that keeps you in conflict. You seem to like that, which is why I originally, way back when, told you that you and Bagua were “arguing”. The tone of that is very different than two people exchanging ideas and growing. I believe you both have an investment in fighting and that it is feeding your egos. My suggestion then, as now, is to look at this instead of arguing about it.<>[Wendy/Lust issue]<>Sitting still and not doing, are the cures because then you are “aligning” with the natural Way. But if you do this to make yourself better, to grow more, to change something, you are not really doing it at all.<>Yes, I am. But I am doing much more writing lately than I intended and I don’t like sitting at the computer this long regularly so I am going to do less now.<<*Then there is nothing more to continue, we made our points. I see you more clearly now, Alexander.
Fajin
max: >>AA:You [Fajin] expressed strong words against porn and lust and your suggestion was to keep them from watching it and having those feelings.
Fajin is correct<<
I feel that that approach creates a forbiden fruit dilemma, which can transform mere curiosity into obsession
there's another way to approach it.
When looking at it without acting on the impulses, just slowing the breath and seeing it from all angles, ie
– the sensation inside your body
– the person behind the image and their history
– the whole setup/circumstance of what you are looking at
– and sincerlly asking that part of your self which KNOWS what
is sacred and life sustaining to be present with youThis can really diffuse the novelty appeal of porn. And then you see it clearlly.
I think Wendy knows how to guide her kids on this one………
This ramble has been brought to you by……………….I gotta get away from this computer
+ – + -……………..
“there’s another way to approach it.
When looking at it without acting on the impulses, just slowing the breath and seeing it from all angles, ie
– the sensation inside your body
– the person behind the image and their history
– the whole setup/circumstance of what you are looking at
– and sincerlly asking that part of your self which KNOWS what
is sacred and life sustaining to be present with youThis can really diffuse the novelty..”
This looks like a useful and healthy way to approach many things. Well said.
-AFajin, I will leave you with these thoughts before I go away for three days:
It is clear to me that you do not see me or understand me at all.
Wendy was wrong when she said you are like a wild horse. You are more like a two year old throwing a tantrum. You let your emotions drag you up and down because you are fixated on seeing enemies and fighting with them. You have consistently misunderstood much of what I have said to you because you are invested in being polarized, dualistically seeing two sides all the time in conflict rather than in partnership.You say: “I am not going to abandon my practices and choose to sit still and do nothing all of a sudden.”
But Lao Tzu says:
“By letting it go it all gets done.”
You say: “I said that battles should end in change. We are changing the tension into wholeness.”
But Lao Tzu says:
“But forget about understanding and harmonizing and making all things one. The universe is already a harmonious oneness; just realize it.”
And last, but not least:
“The mystical techniques for achieving immortality are revealed only to those who have dissolved all ties to the gross worldly realm of duality, conflict, and dogma.”
Thank you for your time,
AlexanderDear ones,
Raising children in this time is very complicated and is asking a lot of guidance:
It is pretty easy for all of you to say how bad it is to look at porn, because you KNOW by experience and as practioners how bad it is, so I agree fully and totally wit Fajin on that. But some souls on this planet will not learn because they are TOLD. My daughters are very strong minded souls and learn from EXPERIENCE, sometimes unfortunately, but that is how they operate in life, so the best way to deal with them is to give them these opportunities and help them to fulfill their soul purpose without holding them back and guide them through it, so that is where Alexander is agreeing with as well.
My oldest of 15, had soft drugs, cigarettes, alcohol and porn. At 15 she EXPERIENCED AND KNOWS how BAD it is for her health. She has no interest any more in those things and is not seeking for MORE experience, she understood, let go and moved on. Her wisdom at 15 is much deeper than most adults, that is why she feels very lonely because her ‘friends’ are still hanging in that pool. She has no ‘connection’ with these people, which I think is sad as well, I know how that feels!
She is asking for ‘teaching’, she insist to learn ‘sprititual practice’. I did not force nor insisted she would do something like this but that is what she wants as result of her experiences.My 14 year old is a copy of Plato. An Aries type. I call her my Angel because she tested us three times in her first years of her life if we were strong enough and had enough LOVE to keep her on this planet. She is very attracted to the Japanese life style, she is learning Japanese by herself and is planning to take Japanese at university. She adores Manga, she is attracted to ‘gay manga’. Her interest on internet is all about this.
She has no interest in drugs, alcohol or hanging out, she feels it so ‘easy’. She is the opposite of her older sister. Her ‘interests’ concern me more than my oldest, while the oldest is extravert, emotional and an artist. The middle one is introvert, can be very tough for herself and others, in general has no interest in the rest of the world. She creates a very personal inner world. I watch her closely without interferring or judging her taste or interests. It is very important that she feels supported in her choices and loved for who she is, even much more than my oldest or youngest, although she acts she is in no need but I know better, if not she will turn into a bitch. This is a very critical time for her and will make her going one way or the other.Saying porn is bad, we all know it is, but reality is much more than just knowing.
If I would judge my middle daughter based on what we KNOW I would ‘KILL’ her self expression and thus make her grow into an incredible tough and nasty bitch. Her energy and will is so impressive but also very dangerous. LOVE is what can make her use that type of energy into something impressive indeed.Maybe there is a big difference here when it comes to the word ‘porn’. You guys have a certain type of porn in mind. Maybe it is best to make this more clear, let me name it ‘erotic’ instead of porn. And you are right girls are VERY different then boys when it comes to erotic images and fantasies. That is why we don’t come to an agreement about this.
I absolutely dislike ‘porn’, it is dark sided rubbish that is feeding sick minds. That is my personal opinion. And that is the feeling of my daughters as well.
Well, I just asked my two oldest daughters about this discussion and what they feel about it, it will shed some light:
1. They think that people who watch porn without meaningful relationships are pathetic .
2. Porn is giving the wrong signal, onrealistic, so one has to have a realistic view on sex and relationships.
3. Watching porn being too young is bad because they get wrong ideas about sex.
4. They don’t believe it is good for their development watching dirty and sick porn.
5. Porn movies have lack of class, so, the people who watch it.
Sorry guys but my kids have class, smiles from my oldest!Btw my oldest was chosen for a dance performance, she had the right sensual appearance. Everyone was stuned and amazed and god I was soooooo proud of her.
So much style and presence, so much sensual energy and warmth, her dancing was fire and water, both mingling. Although she had just three in between dancing acts, she was the big star, the public became wild seeing this 15 year old sensual goddess.Alexander,
I do not send you e-emotions, so don’t say I have a temper tantrum like a two year old. I try to be very nice to you, but you are difficult to deal with. And you misunderstand Lao Tsu’s quotes.
>>”By letting it go it all gets done.”<>”But forget about understanding and harmonizing and making all things one. The universe is already a harmonious oneness; just realize it.”<>”The mystical techniques for achieving immortality are revealed only to those who have dissolved all ties to the gross worldly realm of duality, conflict, and dogma.”<<
*Yes, when the ego stops grasping and fixating, one's original nature has emerged. You must allow Original Spirit to emerge. I am using Michael's refinement of One Cloud's formulas for this.
Regards,
FajinMax, I never said to anyone that no action was necessary. I never said do not do your practices. It is how one does things that matters. Personall, I do 3-5 hours a day of chi gong and nei gong. I was trying to dissuade Fajin from overdoing, that’s all. -A (I am away for three days now)
Hi Pietro,
Since you are off, we may discuss. Don’t take me as Alexander being angry because I am not, I am typing this to you with a friendly loving smile!
I agree that porn and lust are not the same thing, otherwise why even give them different terms.
But one is lustful for women only after actually having seen them. Why else would you be lustful?
Sexual fantasy is in the mind, you get pictures of women, in whatever pose or form they may be in and this triggers the release of nitric oxide in your sympathetic nerves of your penis. You get horny. If you have never seen a woman in your life then how could you have lusty thoughts? You wouldn’t know how a woman would look like! Right?
When you look at porn, lust originates because it is something the eyes like. It is sensual and the mind tries to wrap itself around what is happening in the pictures.
So, if one looks at porn in disgust like Wendy’s children, then why continue looking at porn? If one looks at porn with interest, then one shouldn’t continue looking at porn because it will excite the mind for more lust and more nitric oxide release via sympathetic response.
So, what is the point of looking at porn? You get nothing in return! Or maybe I am wrong, can you tell me Pietro (with a smile)?
Kind Regards,
FajinJust because I put a barbell with over 650 lbs. of weight over my knees in Ma Bu, It does not mean that I am overdoing. This is a Shaolin and Tibetan Martial Qigong and one I enjoy doing. I get alot of earth qi through it and maintain a smile throughout this practice. I gradually increase the weight as I get better.
There were many practitioners who practiced all day like the Yang Family for instance. Yang Cheng Fu practiced all day because of his father’s strict discipline but after that he didn’t need discipline anymore because he loved the practice just as I do.
Many Daoists went in a cave and practiced inner alchemy all day too. Length of time does not mean overdoing if you enjoy what you are doing. I think spending time practicing is better spent then watching American Idol like Max said.
Smiles,
Fajin
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