June 13, 2006 at 8:34 am #14750
Years ago a Kyrgyz woman told me I had no faith, no believe and it was the one thing I had to learn on this planet to become what was seeded. She said if I could come to that I could transform the karma of an entire society.
Indeed I question and never surrender. Yet the one time I did surrender the sky fell on my head and gave me so much fear I had to work this through the following years. I was not ready to handle it, even that partial ‘sky’ was too much for my system.
I learned along the way what she was talking about, it is not about believe in Jesus or whatever, one can do that, but it is not what she meant. It is a total surrender to the life force, no matter how you call that God, Tao… I have not reached that point yet, in my head I can but the total concept of what is I and All is not able to let go the I. Behind this I feel a giant monster, called fear. I ate through it, slowly coming closer to that one point of total surrender but when putting one foot in I remember the fear and the pain it caused last time. So I am working on that.
Feeling that it is total waiste of time discussing wether you believe in Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, they are step stones. We all need step stones, yet I tried to plonge into the whole without them and it surely did hurt very deeply. Using step stones is the most sensible path. I admire people who just can say: I believe. I admire people who can let go and say I have total faith. Even if historical facts are incorrect, their faith can be that one step to reach the whole.
I never question ‘faith’ in other people, I am the one without faith, I am the wandering one, I am the lost one.June 13, 2006 at 12:53 pm #14751
it’s probably because unquestioning faith and unintelligble insistance upon truth without any supporting proof/evidence with desire to shut down all resoning faculties is about like going into a coma..
better to do cryogenics and wake up a different worldJune 13, 2006 at 2:41 pm #14753
I: ‘it’s probably because unquestioning faith and unintelligble insistance upon truth without any supporting proof/evidence with desire to shut down all resoning faculties is about like going into a coma.. ‘
A bit less questions would make my life much more pleasurable. What a nice ‘coma’ that would be…
Sometimes things happen just because of believe. Let me give you a very simple one. At high school I was a very averadge student, in my last years I was even, you could say the ‘dummy’ in my superior class. Yet my chemistry teacher ‘saw’ something and believed in me much more than I believed in myself. I was totally shocked when I was called on stage in front of the whole school, ‘miss grey’ won the prize for best student for chemistry! He gave me that prize, surely not for my average results which would be the proof and evidence for winning this prize, but he believed.
Because of my love for chemistry AND because of his believe, I became an alchemist…and I will honor him for the rest of my days.
Nevertheless I am gifted with a scientific brain that is looking for evidance and proof. Even when aliens, reptiles, ghosts, immortals knock on my door, I tell myself where is the evidance? That is why it is very hard for me, to just ‘believe’. I am always astonished when people just take things for granted because somebody is telling this or that. I am always very critical but believe me I wished I could. It is my ultimate wish to be able to ‘believe’.
I totally understand your way of thinking because I am very much like you yet I know it has its own shadow as well.
I: ‘better to do cryogenics and wake up a different world ‘
I woke up in this world and in this time/space frame, so I better make it worth livingJune 13, 2006 at 4:09 pm #14755
“Not all who wander are lost.” -JRR TolkeinJune 14, 2006 at 10:05 am #14757June 15, 2006 at 5:31 am #14759
Hi Wendy !
Maybe belief is not about believing antything about the Force, or Buddha, or Jesus? Maybe the only thing you need to believe in is the power of love? These words have been terribly misused, but I guess it is true. For I find it is a big step to say: I shall not rely on the usual mechanisms of hate, indifference and coercion, I shall trust on a loving attitude. First of all towards myself (my body and the body spirits), and then later, as a result, to others too.
I would say that even if the creeds of Christianity are all false, at least their profession of the power of love is true. And that is the vital thing. The same holds for Buddhism.
When I profess to the power of love however, it is not clear to me yet what love is. It is not the romantic type of love of the movies (the mating call in disguise), but neither the ‘love-or-you-will-be-horribly-punished’ Moral Majority type of love. That was more a convenient instrument for our parents to make us do things we did not want to… Maybe it is not even, or not in the first place, a feeling of tenderness. It could be a purely appreciative mind, noticing and enjoying all the pleasurable feelings that you can have inside. A kind of hedonism in fact…
But maybe your surrendering to the Life Force already included such a trust in love ? Or can you surrender to it without an attitude of love ? I would say that without love there can be no relaxation, and without relaxation the Life Force can not flow, cannot live within you…
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” (Oscar Wilde)
May the Force be with you,
Wandering OakJune 15, 2006 at 8:18 am #14761
I gave many thoughts these past 2 days to my ‘problem’ of believing:
The whole point is…what is love?
If I may speak freely from my ‘scientific’ view I say:
Human love is a bio-chemical reaction driven by hormones touched by…
Universal Love which is a bio-al-chemical reaction caused by cosmic hormone-like particles ‘not yet’ understandable for our human brain. Quantumphysics is getting there.
It is the ability of tapping into this bio-al-chemical stream-field that is causing the ‘absolute Love’ feeling expressed in so many texts and expressed in so many different cultures and religions.
I use the word ‘stream-field’ because it comes the most closest in my understanding.
You can use the archetypes as Jesus and Buddha to tap into this field, I see them as humans that achieved this.
But personally I come much closer to that absolute feeling without using these archetypes but by understanding this stream-field and letting go every concept of the visual world.
That is why I struggle with ‘believe’, because I don’t have any concepts yet that help me to understand it. I can’t ‘believe’ in Jesus nor in Buddha other than they tapped into this stream-field.
These 2 past days I ordered myself to go back to my roots and see the world with MY eyes as an Al-chemical stream-field and it is like an energy ocean where I notice the ability to SEE.
I understand today that I tried to look with eyes that are programmed in the old-concept-world while my system is looking with ‘quantum eyes’.
I see as well that along with all the archetypes a whole range of energies are created, ghosts, demons, gods, angels, etc .
While tapping into the stream-field all that is not existing, it is existing because it is created but in the stream-field it is not. So the most pure form is this stream-field itself, everything else is creation and thus not pure and yet pure in essence.
Again that is why I cannot ‘believe’ or ‘surrender’ to archetypes, nor in related energies, yet I can see them as an expression but NOT as the essence, so there can not be ‘believe’ nor ‘surrender’ on that level, yet again it can be done as a step of a stair.June 16, 2006 at 6:09 am #14763June 16, 2006 at 2:28 pm #14765
source is always mystery
hence all theory on the source is dialectic
if some thing is a mystery that does not mean it does not existJune 16, 2006 at 3:25 pm #14767
It is what you ‘believe’ that makes the ‘mystery’ work or not. I describe what I ‘believe’ in that way I make it alive and it will work for me…June 16, 2006 at 11:42 pm #14769
Very well said Wendy. You try to give words to that which is beyond words and only sound like contradictions but are paradox instead. I could feel your curiosities touching those edges of reason. Thanks for that.
You use the word ‘seeing’ from that stream-field. My sensual experience from this place is synesthetic where all the senses become a unified source of information and communication. It is hard to tell the visual from the auditory from the kinesthetic. I don’t usually get taste in there or smell but if I focus they also come alive. We separate out these senses and keep them in our heads when they are so intimately connected to the inner core which all of these taoist practices are leading us.
it makes me think of the food served in China and how all the tastes are stimulated where in the West we tend to accentuate one over the other.
I am wondering if your saying that these beings do not really exist though is a way to not include creation within this core channel. I don’t have words for this question because it is enmeshed in the paradox of what is and what is not…but I am watching in my own mind the temptation to discount the physical as ‘not’ and the core as ‘is’.
I don’t think this is what you are saying at all actually but it is what got me thinking. I am hearing your desire (I love how you ‘ordered yourself’) to get closer to the Source and not get clouded by it reflections. Get closer to authentic vision. Thanks, BarryJune 16, 2006 at 11:51 pm #14771
I am so happy to see love brought out and questioned. We are so Hallmarked into a saccharin sappy love and I have made love a prison because of how it was presented to me. When my partner told me she loved me a few monthe ago I threw up. Literally threw up. When she told me she was hurt or angry I was digesting just fine.
It is as if I have had this love for others but secret hatred for those close to me because love met my body with such an old pattern of resistance. But was it really love? Or control in its guise. Sorry for the rambling, but love is definitely a place of refuge, a crystalline force field with never ending ramifications for how I exist in this world.
Have you ever done Michael’s deep healing chi kung? It uses the words of love connecting the five shen to heaven and earth and humanity and is a moving Metta meditation. SO simple and profound. Amazing how much I resist it..hehe…barryJune 18, 2006 at 8:20 pm #14773
Wendy. I tell you, if I got a reply that said this:
“Very well said Wendy. You try to give words to that which is beyond words and only sound like contradictions but are paradox instead. I could feel your curiosities touching those edges of reason. Thanks for that.”
after the post you put, I’d probably feel like crumpling this person up like a burnt bag of popcorn..
for me a lot of this issue comes down tot he basic questions of life..
“who are we?”
“what are we?”
“where did we come from?”
“Where are we going to?”
“what is the point?”
“why are we conscious?”
“is there a GOD?”
these are very basic questions that all peolpe have apparently dealt with..
any child asks these things..
If you haven’t checke dout the work of Daniel Winter you should.. his heart tuner is based on the human heat as a love pump working on a gravitational wave constant..June 20, 2006 at 11:42 am #14775
bardon calles coupling the two or four polarities a volt
a battery has voltage, creative tension
taoism is full of coupling
many is extreme polarities
thus its connection to the source is not obviious
thus coupling is undertaken to open it to obviousness
thus it is difficult to come from one belief to the source unless it is contradictory/dialectic
or great skill is needed
one of the many is not necessary the one
a I is a temporary earth
trying to cling to it makes it stiffJune 20, 2006 at 11:48 am #14777
immortal business is a tricky one
small I, small being
greatest I, greatest being
all is I, no being
so it is trail and error
sometimes time component is in place
playing out in the now
‘The pentacle is a combination of 5 yang (points) and 5 yin (area between the points) which need to be integrated, they all have their specific virtue which you can use in and as a dance.
After the integration of the 5 yang and 5 yin virtues, you turn the pentacle upside down and start to integrate the shadow. This whole process is to learn to be in the center on the cross point (like Jesus). Left and right, up and down, front (future)and behind (past), light and dark, when in the center you are on the cross road and you need all these virtues to keep yourself centered and become whole. You use the circle as a sealing and protection, as well as integration.
It is a very alchemical/mystical practice.’
black mirror is a formal practice in bardon school.
so it is common
but: it is always a challange dealing with the social entity of society
‘their was an old and mean civilization’
as the narrator said in the Connon the Barbarian
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