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I feel like all this retention has caused me to make woman into sex objects. I feel that using them to become taoist sex masters, is still using them, and it is wrong in a way, although if it happens effortlessly, then that is good. But still, it is “using” them as sex objects, in a way. What do you think?
See my comments below about using the practice to recirculate and share the sexual energy, rather than obsessive focus on stopping ejaculation.
If you do the latter, you get too self-focused and it harms your abilty to relate and respond to what women need.
Its another reason I advocate doing a lot of fusion practice before learning sexual practice. Your emotions are the main way you direct and shape your chi. If that is unconscious, your sexual practice will remain unconscious to the same degree.
I discuss the problem of vampirism extensively in the all the workshops (it goes both ways, female vampirism as well).
It is my experience that men dump their tensions/emotional garbage in women’s lap. It is my understanding that because of this mechanism, women tend to built an emotional and energetic wall against their partner/s to protect themselves from this or if gathered so much garbage (without cleaning themselves by practice/meditation) they react unconsciously against men in general out of protection. They need to protect their inner nature against the ‘pollution’. Often I hear women complain about the feeling of being a trash can (especially in longer-term relationships) and that is exactly what happens. We receive too much dirt, so better to have a conscious, loving man in bed, saves a lot of emotional, physical and spiritual cleansing. We already have enough cleansing to do, we don’t need an extra bucket. So please if you have sex with your partner, masturbate first if needed, make sure you are relaxed and gentle between the sheets.
yes women, much more on an emotional level.
Partners should not use each other as trash can but see each other as a stair; helping each other to climb up the stairs.
Wendy,
Another excellent post!
w> Partners should not use each other as trash can but see each other as a stair; helping each other to climb up the stairs. >
So nice to have you around.
Trunk
Wendy,
My problem with your statement is that it reveals that you view semen (the essence of the man you in lust/love with) as trash.
How else could you be a trashcan?
-Plato
P> My problem with your statement is that it reveals that you view semen (the essence of the man you in lust/love with) as trash.
How else could you be a trashcan? >Clearly a metaphor to describe the condition of when a man’s lower center becomes stagnant, all bound up with residual force and mis-emotion, and then the man – seeking some relief – dumps his force, anger, frustration, dark lower emotions, along with his semen into his partner’s womb.
You’ve written (even published) about this sort of issue extensively, and so it seems to me that your question to Wendy is most likely just a petty attack.
Trunk said it nice,
Seemen is a powerful elixir, it can be charged either with dirt, either with love.
What do you prefer Plato, a loving vagina or…
What do you think I prefer, powerful nice smiling happy seemen.If you are happy, I am happy, if you feel hate and anger, I take that hate and anger, you feel relieved for awhile, and I am stuck with the cleaning.
If you respect your partner you try to your best to offer the best you have at that moment. The best at that moment is ok.
If you invite somebody in your house you make it nice and warm, to make the other feel happy and loved. If you are not able to do that you have to have respect and keep yourself out of the house or don’t invite anyone in or you help the other clean the house… and for that you need endurance, love and the will to really enhance the very best in yourself and the other. In the past 24 year of my relationship I did all three.
Our main struggle was about sex and the misunderstanding of this principle of dumping, problem with respect. It took nearly 20 years before my partner understood and accepted my ‘problem’, I once denied sex for a year because of too much dumping. I found myself in position of getting ill or protecting myself.
It was not a happy time but I felt I had to fight for myself and my health.Today we are happy with each other.
Please excuse me for sticking my nose into this topic.
But I think both sides are valid.
I think it’s definetly a 2 way street.
I imagine that in many cases, Women feel that they have had the males’ tensions dumped on them especially when he is all tense/angry/aggressive.feverish etc, it must feel pretty terrible.
In a similar way, I think sometimes females, possiblly through feeling some lack or other, what to be filled (so to speak).
I had an experience with a girl which was sort of similar to Halle Berry in that scene in mosters ball. (yeah, crap movie I know) She went on about how miserable her life is, told me she loved me, and then wanted sex (to make her feel better) I refused. I felt that she wanted to use me.Heart to heart connection, and mutual sharing/caring/respect are absolutelly fundamental to harmonious merging of male female.
Sorry for being nosey, just wanted to throw in my 2 cents.
………….oh , wait, I have to convert 2 cents australian into US currency……………………………that makes it about 1.23 centsHey Mat, absolutely welcome to share your experiences from down under, no sorry needed and you are absolutely correct and I agree fully. I am not sparing myself as a woman/ womanhood (previous postings), nor spare men for their share. We are only able to go forward when we open up, share, talk, understand and change strategy in a better one, that is how my partner and I survived the storm in our marriage and became a better couple.
Be open and honest, no reason to be shy or holding back, serves nothing other than fear based energies.
Nice day to you
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