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I have been trying to wean myself off Western exercise of late. Here in the UK people run on the seafront – which sounds like a very gay activity – except that they all have iPods strapped to their arms, are listening to loud music, and clad in fluorescent lycra.
They probably don’t feel a thing. They are not really “there” when they are running. The whole point is to somehow escape yourself whilst forcing the body to do something you saw on TV.
Sometimes I watch old movies, I saw vertigo last week. And I am soothed by the comfort people have in their bodies. No lycra. A wool suit, and a man relaxed, healthy looking, but just calm. Calm, soft bodies.
What has happened on Earth ? Even in my lifetime, gosh people are not healthy. My grandparents were so different.
Even the pornography. The bodies have changed. These days people look like machines, strange android like, covered in tattoos or whatever. Machines.
The world seems totally mad to me these days.
Everyone is unconscious … actually subconscious. People talk a lot, I think this is a big reason for the illusion of consciousness.
I have been watching the seagulls recently. They have a number of distinct calls. Wariness, Distress, Mating, Bragging, Needing feeding. There are perhaps 8 or 9 distinct ones.
And then … if you go to the coffee shops here on the weekend, the humans are there having their conversations. And if you listen (rather feel) closely, they have also distinct calls.
Complaining (the weather or the boss), Bragging (money or children), Sentimentality (the past), Planning something exciting (the future), Shmoozing.
How many conversations do humans have ? Probably 8 or 9 distinct ones.
It’s not different to the seagulls. Although humans use lots of words, actually most human conversation is programmed subconscious modes. Like channels that you can switch on. Mechanical.
A few years ago I watched a baby seagull teaching itself to fly. It experimented a little with these 2 large appendages on its back, the wings. A bit of a stretch of the wings, and then a flap or two. And that was enough for the day. On the next day the baby seagull experimented with this body, flapping a few times and actually lifting straight off the roof. Wow, that was shock, enough for the day, and the seagull darted to settle under its mother’s belly to recover from the fright.
I was watching the Lifeforce learning inside the body of the seagull. This Lifeforce could have found itself within any form or body. Each form or species has different capabilities that are investigated and experimented by the Lifeforce it finds itself in.
Seagulls’ bodies have wings and the Lifeforce deploys its intelligence within those wings.
Humans have a body that includes a talking head, and over time the Lifeforce is experimenting and learning how to puppet this machine of a talking head.
Talking does not make humans conscious, it is just one of the “wings” of this body.
So …
Exercise-wise I did some shaking this morning, meaning you just let your body shake as it likes, a bit like a moving Zhang Zhuan … the body explores through the movement. The intelligence of the body is invited to take control. That intelligence is trusted.
So different from the forcing / mental nature of the West, with so many ill images of 6 pack people encouraging us into strange mechanical exercise.
I saw that Angela Jolie addressed the UN yesterday.
She is very beautiful, and last year had her perfectly healthy breasts surgically removed. She was worried about getting cancer, and removed a healthy part of her body. It’s quite insane. You could get cancer anywhere … why don’t you just remove the whole lot.
These celebrities, air brushed and with perfect teeth, on the inside perhaps is real ugliness.
It seems to me that there is a sickness, a darkness, that is percolating into mankind in this era. I don’t know what it means. Perhaps it is an invasion of dark forces manipulating these beings.
I would like to believe that mankind is learning and growing, but … I can’t see it. People have no time to be themselves. The live in boxes with high adrenaline TV shining into their heads. In the past there was time, silence, nature.
It encourages me strongly to walk further into the Light. Everyday it inspires me to take another step.
I often feel quite uncertain how to be in this society, but I tell myself that Earth is my home and to feel a greater home.
The essence of my complaint is : how do I orient myself in the outer reality.
As my inner reality grows, I feel further and further distance to how I used to understand life. I walk to the supermarket, it is a ritual I have been taugh to shop for food, there are the oranges and yogurt with their price labels. But, I have no idea any more what it all means. If this body is real, and all these games of money that people play. What is it all about?
I speak to a friend, and during the conversation I look into his eyes and watch to see if anyone is home in there. Is he real, or conscious, am I ? Why are we playing this game anymore, it tires me.
How do I relate to these human games and rhythms ?
Often I just try to enter meditation as I am walking around the supermarket, trusting that direction. I trust that it will become clear to me some day. That feels the best.
Sometimes I feel that it is all destruction, that people willfully destroy everything and laugh about it and I get angry. But I have been told that negativity is poison, and to use to myself go deeper inside.
Machiavelli, I read something about him this morning. How human society can only be run through fear and intimidation and that one must accept that reality.
But I don’t want to play those games.
Can I just trust falling into the Wu and letting it organise and regulate everything ? Seems like there is no option.
If I trust and go deeper, surrender myself, will all fall into place ?
My head hurts, it tries to grasp some meaning or sense of the outer reality, using the filters that it has been taught. But this game is over, nothing makes sense on the human level.
Or Osho, he says … just relax, don’t worry. “Easy is Right. Begin easy and you are right, continue right and you are easy”. I think that comes from Chuang Tzu. So maybe there is no problem but my fretting.
Or perhaps without my fretting I would have never started spiritual practice ???
Gurdjieff says that “only exceptional efforts are meaningful” and the situation of man is “the terror of the situation” where we are at the mercy of so many unconscious people.
Or perhaps I can just use any experience positive or negative to go deeper, and “it is judgement that defeats us” as Marlon Brando says in Apocalypse Now.
I was sitting in a deep meditation yesterday evening. My eyes were open, but I could clearly feel myself separate from the external world. I was, whether my eyes were open or closed, daytime or night … it made no difference because I Am.
I have got this far, still I understand nothing. What does it mean. So I got this far … I still don’t know what is going on ?
Principles :
i) when negative, use it to go deeper
ii) no longer allow perception of human life using old filters
Yes, many folks distract themselves from life . . . by music, by TV, by inane activities, and the like. All true. However, you’ve actually traded these external distractions that others have, with internal distractions of your own. . . namely all of the mental storylines and fierce questioning that goes on in your head. It’s still avoidance of life; it’s just a different kind of avoidance. Spending your time searching for meaning and answers, asking “in the moment” questions of yourself and others (e.g. are you conscious?) . . . these are all things that pull you away from actually living your life–the one you see in front of you. In reality, you are as pulled away from the world as these other folks that you ridicule for being pulled away from the world for other reasons. In fact, that’s the whole point to your post: you are becoming more disconnected from the external world.
In truth, there is no mental answer to the meaning of life. Meaning is something you create, rather than something you find or “come to understand”. If you spend all of your energy trying to find meaning, you waste your life in the process. If you want meaning, create it! Find things you are passionate about, set goals, and then work toward achieving those goals. Feel accomplishment in the final result, but more importantly, enjoy the road that took you there.
I’m sorry, but what I said before in other posts to you still holds true.
I think you are too much in your head, and if anything, I feel these posts validate my original assessment all the more.Consequently, I recommend getting more deeply grounded.
Standing meditation is excellent, but I’m starting to think that my 2nd best choice for grounding (namely Tai Chi) would be even better. Your mental body is so developed that it may not give up its control without a serious fight, so it may even be better for you if your grounding exercise is one in which your body is moving. Thus you might actually find it easier to ground with the Tai Chi. BTW: I’d actually de-recommend sitting meditation for you. Sitting meditation tends to amplify the earth element, which is already hyperactive in your case. You need to be standing–at minimum–when doing meditation, I think. And perhaps moving is even the best. You should amplify the wood element to break up all that earth.Outside of actual practice, give yourself what it is hungry for (but not via the mind) . . . that is: “meaning”. But not by thinking and analyzing, but by creating the meaning via finding things you are passionate about (or could be) and investing yourself in them. Try picking up a foreign language, learning to play a musical instrument, or writing a novel. Or maybe something community-based such as building shelters for the homeless, etc., which can make you feel useful.
The one “plus” to your hyperactive mind is that it shows that deep-down you are a really creative person. So go create!
Qi,
StevenHi Steven
I woke up really in my head yesterday.
Feel better today, just did a QF1234 and nice rooting session, feel more normal. The rooting seems to be taking root.I am not sure which of the 5 animals is causing the problem, seems like a badly behaved zoo !! All except the lungs which are solid.
I was feeling that perhaps the heart is the problem. I have some deep hatred / fear of people and life … and I think this blocks my creativity and then the energy just goes inside in a bad way.
I have always had this schizo introvert / extrovert character, and frankly I have wanted to retire from life and be quiet, but it seems that my energy is not like that, it won’t allow me too.
So … I did extra heart work this morning. There is resistance there.I think I have to totally lighten up !!!
This morning I was remembering Osho say that we should “Be a joke unto ourselves” which is much better than being “a light unto ourselves” because what are you going to do with a light – light a cigar ?! A joke is much more beautiful !!!Different days I am in totally different moods and mode of operation.
When I sit in meditation my mind is totally still like a clear lake, these days, and I do fell like I have found meaning and communion.
But hey ! Like I said I have to lighten up and not be so serious. I am in favour of laughing and wu’ing through life.
>>>I was feeling that perhaps the heart is the problem.
>>>I have some deep hatred / fear of people and life …
>>>and I think this blocks my creativity and then the
>>>energy just goes inside in a bad way.Again, it’s the grounding.
When you get deeply grounded, you become quite detached from what others may or may not do. Quite simply, the actions of others–positive or negative–become quite irrelevant to your life. And even if their actions intersect in your life in some way, you are neutral enough to observe that any interaction provides for you in those moments the unlimited scope of free choice. So you really are quite free and independent from the actions of others. This also allows you to open your heart more, because then you can engage with people on whatever level they are at, not requiring them to be different from who they are, and not feeling frustration because they are not what you’d like them to be.
As you’ve perhaps started to see, and will see, is that if you consistently do grounding work–day in and day out–the effects become cumulative. 6 months or a year down the road and things will be a lot different. When you get deeply grounded, many problems just go away.
But it’s best if you don’t believe me, and you just try it for yourself. 😉
Keep smiling,
Steven
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