January 14, 2007 at 1:50 pm #20475
A store that only sells one item – new husbands – has just opened in
New York City. Any woman can go there and choose the husband of her dreams.
At the entrance is a sign bearing this information:
Greetings, ladies. You may visit this store ONLY ONCE. There are six floors and the value of the product increases with each level you ascend.
You may choose a model from a particular floor, or go on to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
A woman enters the store looking for a husband. On the first floor there is a sign that reads:
Floor 1- Men Who Have Jobs.
Contemplating, she chooses to rise another flight to see what else is availavble.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2- Men Who Have Jobs and Love Kids.
“Oh!” She thinks. And up she goes another flight.
On the third floor she finds a sign that reads:
Floor 3- Men Who Have Jobs, Love Kids, and Are Extremely Good
“Wow!” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes up to the fourth floor and the sign there reads:
Floor 4- Men Who Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-Dead Good Looking
and Who Help With Housework.
Eyes wide, mouth open and smiling broadly, she can’t say anything now, but rushes to the fifth floor where the sign reads:
Floor 5- Men Who Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-Dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Who Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
Taking a deep breath, and steadying herself for a long moment, she then turns to go up to the sixth and final floor where she finds a sign that reads:
You are the 31,456,012 visitor to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at The Husband Store.
The Wives Store version:
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and are beautiful.
The third floor has wives that love sex, are beautiful and who have money.
The fourth through sixth floors have never been visited…January 14, 2007 at 5:43 pm #20476
Very funny, Alexander. Here’s more on the topic:
WHEN IT COMES TO ORGASM, WOMEN WORK HARDER
WOMEN AND MEN: THE BRAINWORK BEHIND SEX
By Lynn Sherr
September 27, 2006
Animals have it easy.
For them, sex is all about eggs or pups or calves.
No animal has to commit to a relationship to lure the female of the species
into the nest.
We humans are much more complicated. Women need to be in the mood, which
many men don’t seem to understand.
“I think that most men, and I have to underline the word ‘most,’ just don’t
get it,” said Jenny McCarthy, an actress, former Playmate of the Year, and
best-selling author of “Life Laughs: The Naked Truth about Motherhood,
Marriage, and Moving On.”
She laments that our differences — the ones that can make sex so much fun
— can also get in the way.
“It’s amazing to me how much brain work it takes for a girl to have an
orgasm,” McCarthy said. “Guys just need to look at a nipple, and they lose
it. God, I wish it was that easy for us!”
That’s just one of the differences between men and women that are explored
in a new reality series, “Sexual Healing,” on Showtime
Sex therapist Laura Berman hosts it. She said those differences are
“First and foremost, men tell me they don’t get enough sex. That’s the
biggest complaint,” Berman said.
On the other hand, when she recently saw a married couple that hadn’t had
sex for years, the wife told Berman, “I’m kind of at the point where I could
live the rest of my life and not have it again.”
That’s not unusual.
About 30 percent of women — more than six times that of men — have a low
libido, or sex drive, studies show.
If it’s physiological, there are remedies, such as hormone medication.
But there are other reasons a woman can’t have sex just like a man.
“Women need a context in which to be sexual,” Berman said. “She has to feel
good about the situation, even about the surroundings, in order to let go
and really enjoy the sexual scenario.”
And a man?
“A man isn’t as picky,” Berman said. “It’s just the way they’re wired. Men
are much more goal-oriented. And so they’ll try to heat things up way too
quickly. And if, you know, men are a microwave oven, women are a
Women are also more easily distracted than men, even in bed.
McCarthy admitted that she often made lists — grocery lists — while making
“That’s not because she’s not interested. Women are natural multitaskers,”
Berman said. “Our main sexual organ is our brain. So our body can actually
be physiologically responding, but if we’re not in a state of mind to
respond, it doesn’t register.”
There are solutions to this often inconvenient gender gap.
Berman said it’s all about communication — telling your partner what you
like and what works.
McCarthy agrees, especially because, now divorced, she’s found the right
context for her love life with movie star Jim Carrey.
“It’s very real, very loving, very spiritual,” said McCarthy of her
relationship with Carrey. “And the sex is beautiful.”January 17, 2007 at 4:33 pm #20478
This article is total garbage garnished with the quotes of a talentless whore (Jenny McCarthy): Doing laundry lists during sex because women are natural multi-taskers? Do they take men for this stupid? Yes!
Look, the truth is these days women are chemically impotent due to birth control drugs and getting “fucked to death” in their youth. In other words, girls at 16 years of age are on birth controls, doing MDMA in clubs, and fucking like crazy.
By the time they are 21 their pussies are destroyed, and their hormones and neurochemicals non-existant.
When a woman has good hormones, she wants sex WORSE then a man does. She doesn’t need mental stimulation–she needs cock and more cock.
For example, last night I was in a bar and there was this young, blonde white girl sitting all alone at the counter. She was on fire. She looked at me but I am celibate until October so she wasn’t getting any from me. She was so hot she started unwittingly masturating her beer bottle while talking on the phone. My friends and I started laughing and then about five minutes later a short black guy walks up to her, and then his friend comes over (a fat, short black guy) and they BOTH take her home.
Where was her “mental” stimulation in that scenario? She didn’t need any David Shade-style hypnotism or anything. Just cock.
Hey, if a woman’s main sexual organ is her mind, how about I just skull-fuck every bitch from now on?
LOL!January 17, 2007 at 5:49 pm #20480
I had the same reaction to the article myself, though, Plato, your poetry with words is more raw than mine would be.
The article is really empty reguritated drivel designed by the mass media to keep people thinking they are all as stupid as poor Jenny. Anyone, woman or man, who finds themselves thinking about “things” while they are having sex is split up inside themselves about what they are doing and ought to be looking at the issues instead of deceiving themselves by telling themselves that they are multi-tasking.
I wish we’d grow up.
-AlexanderJanuary 17, 2007 at 6:32 pm #20482
Haha! Yeah, I am jacking my testosterone on herbs lately and working out a lot + no sex = aggression! 🙂
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