To get to my point, i first have to tell you a bit of background.
1. My qigong practise has increased my chi flow so my self love is never blocked.
2. Many timed during the past years, and also earlier in life i’ve got (especially when i’ve not slept enough) odd attacks with a feeling that everthing is wrong, complete wrongness, a very, very unpleasant feeling.
This night, i picked up that extremly unpleasant feeling again, however this time my self love was not blocked! So i felt both this and self love. At first it was very confusing. I observed that my self love is complete, and that the feeling of wrongness comes from (and IS) lack of trust of my complete self love, and i realised that the feeling of wrongness was nothing more then subconscious fear risen to my conscious mind.
In my last post i wrote about moral and qigong, i was confused that when i do immoral things my chi doesn’t judge me, and i feel totally in harmony with myself even afterwards, there seemed to no consequence and i was also confused how i could do immoral things at all when i felt so in harmony with myself. Now i realised that when we feel that something is “immoral”, we feel it because it is not in harmony what we really are, and when i did immoral things it was based on fear, which is lack of trust in my complete self love.
From this i’ve got motivation to practise more zazen, because i felt that if i just sit and watch my conscioussness my lack of confidence in my complete self love will dissapear, because it’s not a part of what i am.
This is why i think zazen + qigong is an excellent path. Qigong helps you to always be in touch with your self love, while zazen dissolves your distrust in your own self love (fear).
“In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invinvincible summer”
No end to the Madness.
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