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David,
An intimate relationship between two people is special, unique and fragile. It is special to trust someone so deeply that you share with them all of your secrets, desires and difficulties, and allow them to help you with them. It is unique in that there is something about your energies that they interact and create the special tingle of love. And, it is fragile because it is so easy for this deep connection to be ruptured by a single mistake.
You say that there is something appealing to you about your wife being with another man, and that this is something that you give to her. I am wondering if you are resonating with the idea of a younger man being with her, and this makes you feel like that younger man, and it makes you feel more yang and bigger than you now feel. If that is the case, then I suggest instead of allowing that other man in that you learn to improve your “game” and energy and become that more yang man.
If you “give” this young man to your wife, you will become less of a man to her. You will be retreating some of your yang self from her to allow this other man in. You will be less man to her, not more. This is a huge mistake, and gets back to the fragility.
Is your wife asking for this other man? If so, find out what about it appeals to her. What is she wanting energetically? Then figure out how YOU can do that for her. It is possible that you are yang and she is not experiencing it enough because of subtle blocks in her towards you.
It is not about the amount of seed that she gets, but the quality of the seed and what she does with it. You can control the quality (the vibrance, the love) and she controls what she does with it. Women can have the special ability to move the energy of the seed through their body and multiply it again and again…with love.
I know that you are hungry – I just hope that you and your wife take the time to cook a good and healthy meal, instead of going for some fast food.
Chris
I will put my thoughts in this too, from a female perspective.
David,
I hear two things:
One is your fantasy that is about to become true. Many of us have similar fantasies but are never able or wanting to bring them into reality. You are. There is someone outthere that wants to be part of this fantasy. The fantasy can become reality….
I also hear the desire for cultivation and you are asking if bringing this ‘fantasy’ into reality will help to ‘cultivate’… what exactly? What is it that you want to cultivate… more energy? more love for your wife? feeling love inside yourself? more love together?
Try to really feel what you really want to get out of it. Because different people want different things out of their ‘cultivation’. So different people need different ‘practices’ to reach their specific goal(s).I have been on both sides and I can share with you that having my fantasies met pleased me and I learned from it, I learned from both the pleasure and the pain. It have been wise lessons but also I wished I never had to go through those lessons, but then we sometimes HAVE to.
Speaking as a divorced 45 year old cultivator and about to remarry another cultivator (‘voice’ on this forum), I can share my own perspective on bringing a third party into the relationship.
My love for Chris can NOT allow another man inside me. I made an energic pact with his heart and his seed, they belong to me and I belong to him.
Having someone else into this dynamic would break our pact.
Whenever he is bringing his seed into me, I feel this as an act of trust, love and surrender to me. I CHOOSE in that moment to accept him and give him back his own energy multiplied with mine.
I am the Queen in our bed and he is my Master (do not read this as a fetish thing but as a way of expressing the deeper current).
I accept him as HIM, whenever I do not accept him with openness, love and trust, the energy can not be multiplied, the divine love is not there.
The desire can, the arrousal can, even the energy can, but not the bonding life giving love. We together create the third force, divine love. The need for another player in this is not existing.
Yet if you want fantasies come alive that is a totally different level….
Yet if you have the need to multiply certain energies you can consider it…And that is why I would suggest to talk this over with your wife again, what is it that you want from this ‘fantasy’ coming alive….
If you are both very clear and very honest about this (and invite all of your shadow parts into this discussion!), go with what you are both really wanting…Thanks Wendy for your thoughts. It’s always best to hear from both men and women on the topic.
I think what conclusions that may be drawn here, are that there are sooooo many considerations that it may not be worth the effort.
David
Chris,
Perfectly stated. Thank you so much. Your words REALLY were the most useful.
While I think you added much to my original question: “would adding semen be a net benefit”, I think you hit the proverbial nail perfectly. Thank you thank you thank you.
Sure, there’d be something “added”, but what is actually being added? Perfect.
I can’t say how much I appreciate how well you put into perspective what I was asking. You truly changed my mind. No additional semen for us. Just me and my wife.
Your words made the difference.
David
Hi David,
I am so happy that my words helped you look at your situation differently. If you have any other questions about the pleasures and pitfalls of deepening and strengthening your sexual and spiritual relationship, Wendy and I would be more than happy to share our thoughts.
best of luck,
Chris
Chris, Wendy,
Indeed you have. Thank you so much. I am trying to clarify in my mind why your advice was more useful and different, alas, I am having trouble being specific.
I think it is because you related things to how YOU felt instead of comparing my question/quest with some pre-determined orthodoxy.
Regardless, your comments mattered.
Thanks.
David
I dont like this system and what wrote Hsi Lai. This is thievish way. And what he wrote about masturbating and ejaculating on every 3rd time foolish thing. This is not truly spiritual on my opinion.
Your wife can have harem of boys:))
You can have harem of girls
but where is love?
woman looking for your yang to be more yang – practice qigong tai chi and more another practices its will be good for you and for she.
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