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August 21, 2007 at 5:07 pm #23584StevenModerator
“… the problem can be that the ways you have found to be happy in the absence of such an important part of yourself don’t work with the part added.”
There’s a lot of truth to this I think . . .
Best,
StevenAugust 21, 2007 at 5:15 pm #23586NnonnthParticipant…. thanks for posting. I recognize the neck thing too, I had it since age 2 and was known for it as a kid.
I’ve been working this out a while now and I really have got a handle on it, it’s within my grasp. From my perspective it’s very very deep that’s all, some things are so deep that when you first uncover them it’s like things are getting worse, because you have twisted yourself around trying to avoid looking at something and when you try to straighten at first your body habitually protests. But as you untwist yourself it starts to feel wonderful, on a level previously unimagineable, because longstanding deep issues occur at an age when you simply don’t have the concrete sense of yourself you have now. You simply assume that stuff ‘is’, and when you suddenly find it ‘isn’t’ it’s very palpably amazing.
Hatsumi-soke, a ninja master I respect very highly, spent 18 months on a massive clearout of his digestive system, that is, his digestive system just decided to do it and he had to go along with it. He couldn’t eat more than yoghurt and cucumber. It was embarassing. But he did well for himself after that haha. 🙂
Did you ever see that movie ‘Labrynth’? (sp?) There’s a bit where they go through some corridors with huge heads on the walls, all the heads speaking in huge resounding voices – ‘TURN BACK! THIS IS NOT THE WAY! THE PATH YOU ARE ON WILL LEAD TO CERTAIN DESTRUCTION!’ etc. The guide that the heroine is following explains that these are scattered throughout the Labrynth and when you come upon them it means you’re going the right way. That’s the way it is with these gut-twisters.
It’s a sign of correctness. You’re definitely way down into the structure of your body. When you come out of it it’ll be like you have a hugely different sense of your body, like you can walk tall for the first time. I’m getting inklings of it. Doctors don’t help. You’re going beyond medicine. Just keep meditating. I had this sudden realization of hugeness inside myself, and remembered things from age 2, but it turns out the issues aren’t the central thing for me, the experience of suddenly feeling them clear is the central thing.
Freeform told me on this site that he could tell I was going into my central channel because of ‘clear, simple’ feelings I had, and now because it’s Glenn’s legacy I’m relating everything to my central channel – that’s my method, it’s not HT, but it seems to work well for this thing of untwisting oneself. Everything starts to feel clear and simple, absolutely everything. The thing is, not all of oneself wants to be clear and simple at first. But all of oneself comes around in time, blissful.
Sorry to ramble, welcome again. jason
August 21, 2007 at 5:19 pm #23588StevenModeratorI feel like I should respond in some way to your advice,
but I feel your post speaks for itself.Thank you for this,
StevenAugust 21, 2007 at 5:59 pm #23590StevenModeratorHi Brian,
I’m glad to know that you got some benefit from my story.
Actually, I was about to make an “apology” post to the board
because I felt guilty about filling up the board with
my personal junk and distracting people from more important
issues . . .I wish I could suggest something that would help, but
from obvious posts above, I really can’t. I can really
only identify your experiences and share it with you.
However, there are quite a number of excellent pieces of
advice given by kind souls in posts above that you may
find beneficial to your situation also.It’s funny how it seems like as you go deeper into practice,
you reach new profound levels of substance and experience,
while at the same time uncovering larger issues and more
difficult things–which in some ways makes you seem more
of a rookie in it all.As to being able to understand the deeper story involved,
it will come with time through listening and observing.
Of course, as you’ve seen with my posts above, even
if you get to the point when you understand what the
underlying issue is, that’s a long way from being able
to manage it in a constructive way.Feel free to share that which you want as it becomes
available. We’re all in it together.Best wishes to you and welcome to the board,
StevenAugust 21, 2007 at 6:12 pm #23592StevenModerator“. . . some things are so deep that when you first uncover them it’s like things are getting worse, because you have twisted yourself around trying to avoid looking at something and when you try to straighten at first your body habitually protests”
This is so true. I concur with this.
That’s pretty funny about the movie Labyrinth. I haven’t seen that
movie in probably 20 years, so I don’t remember anything about it . . .By the way, don’t worry about rambling, you’re giving good advice.
S
August 21, 2007 at 6:17 pm #23594BrianParticipantHi Jason,
This feels right. That sense of clear and simple, I think i’m getting a taste of it. And there’s a feeling that the whole untwisting sends out a ripple, that makes a new arrangement of the whole energetic structure of me. One thing moves so the whole structure has to move, bringing everything into a new relationship, and that movement releases joy. Like I’m more and more “here,” really feeling myself. These are real events and as they happen I feel grateful. I say, “thank you!” and feel that joyful gratitude very deeply. Wow, I can feel this! It feels so right to feel it. I WANT to feel this. I am grateful for just being able to feel these things. I knew intellectually I had imbalances, but when they start to really come out, man, I had no idea what was going on deep down, and what I was missing out on by having that “space” occupied by those patterns.I can see those heads on the wall and hear them even though i haven’t seen this movie. You can tell they’re trying to cover up the truth. It’s so obvious when you realize it, but they’re pretty scary, especially if you have no guide, don’t feel you have anywhere to place your trust.
I’ve had a sense as well that i’m not big enough. As if my physical body is so contracted and the energy coming through me wants more room to flow. I’ve played with it some in meditation, just intending an expanded energy body and that definitely helps. what a great feeling! like i could keep going further and further, who knows how far. Gradually I can see how that awareness can be carried into non-meditation time too.
Thanks for the resonance,
BbAugust 21, 2007 at 6:27 pm #23596NnonnthParticipant>>And there’s a feeling that the whole untwisting sends out a ripple, that makes a new arrangement of the whole energetic structure of me<>I knew intellectually I had imbalances, but when they start to really come out, man, I had no idea what was going on deep down, and what I was missing out on by having that “space” occupied by those patterns.<>I’ve had a sense as well that i’m not big enough. As if my physical body is so contracted and the energy coming through me wants more room to flow. I’ve played with it some in meditation, just intending an expanded energy body and that definitely helps.<>they’re pretty scary, especially if you have no guide, don’t feel you have anywhere to place your trust.<<
Oh but you do have a guide, it's you! Think about it, because you could have turned back and what made you keep going? You were following something, and who else is it if not the true you wanting to live free of the shackles.
Kudos to Steven for having the bravery to start this conversation! lovin' it j
August 22, 2007 at 12:05 pm #23598BrianParticipantHi Steven
A great thing about this forum is that it’s quite possible that what we’re putting out there is in fact the “more important issue” we thought was elsewhere. And resonating with these experiences is already big help as far as I’m concerned.
Even to to say, “We’re all in it together”. . . I am moved
Brian
August 22, 2007 at 3:24 pm #23600BrianParticipantAugust 22, 2007 at 10:04 pm #23602matblackParticipantyep Brian, we are in it together! some people realise it, others don’t. But the more we harmonise ourselves, the more positively we are harmonising with the universe and all that is within it.
a butterfly flaps it’s wings, and the effects are felt on the other side of the world.
A human awakens to Buddha hood (or whatever term you wanna use) and ALL the world benefits, because through resonance, the vibration of all is raised.
keep going brother……….
August 24, 2007 at 2:27 pm #23604BrianParticipantthanks mat, I will, we will, keep going, unfolding. much appreciation for the positive energy on the forum!
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