Drugs vs Meditation: A personal story

Hello Wendy

Is it something you cold have done differently in your life or in your
practise, that could have saved you from those experiences, or at least could
have made them less dangerous. What do you think?

SD

Hi Wendy,

>>>my ‘issue’ with your postings was not completely dissolved
>>>[some clipped]
>>>It kept me awake till 6am to feel into it.

My apologies if I either directly or indirectly triggered to you
into a place of uncomfortability (or at least sleep loss!!!).
Also, I feel very fortunate to be able to hear your resulting story.

>>>First was about 16 years ago, during one of the
>>>bodywork classes I took, using bone marrow information.
>>>I had a major and very bad out of my body experience.

Out of curiosity, what practices were you doing in that course
that precipitated this? Also, had you done any self-work
prior to that coursework (meaning was there anything that
could have foreshadowed the event) I.E. can you elaborate
on circumstances leading up to that visit and/or what were
the “practices” done in that visit?

>>>My bodywork teacher ordered me to look for Healing Tao
>>>classes and so this first major event directed me towards HT.

That was fortuitous. Almost a universal calling?

>>>Yet it took almost a full year to recover from the loss
>>>of my energybody. It was a terrifying experience to feel
>>>so empty/detached/lost – in a bad unintegrated way,
>>>it felt like I was lost in my own dark inner dungeons,
>>>the guiding light of my energybody was no longer present,
>>>I walked a zombie life.

Wow! That must have been really challenging for you.
I can understand how that would have been traumatizing.

>>>About 13 years ago I sat in a meditation with Michael W.
>>>being totally deep and open I had an encounter with
>>>another being. I talked about that on the forum before
>>>and don’t like to talk about it too much.

That’s understandable. Others sometimes can’t identify
or hold an authentic space to be a sufficient ground for the
story to be told. Some such things can be very intimate
and need to be held with a lot of compassion.

>>>Then about 10/11 years ago taking a class with Li Feng
>>>at Dao Mountain, again in deep and open meditation,
>>>another encounter happened, not one but two following
>>>each other, my body/mind and soul were stretched to the
>>>extreme to try to keep my sanity – where the 13 years ago
>>>one was minddazzling for me, this one was even more disturbing.
>>>This encounter took many years to digest, and I am now 10 years
>>>later at peace with it, yet still finding my way with some
>>>aspects of it, as it is a neverending process. If the first
>>>one took me on the edge of insanity, I think this one took
>>>me at some points over it. My build in intelligence kept me
>>>from really becoming a sort of lunatic in the dessert.

Would you be willing to share what happened in
this third event? If it is too disturbing or too personal,
then silence here is fine and understandable.

>>>Anyways this very shortened story to try to make my
>>>point that meditation is not all good vs. drugs
>>>being all bad ( as a spiritual tool). They both
>>>can hold deep wisdom yet also unknown dangers.
>>>In my opinion both paths need exactly the same three things:
>>>Preparation, guidance and completion!
>>>Without those three aspects both meditation
>>>and drug use as a spiritual tool!, can be
>>>just plane dangerous.
>>>From my own experiences I KNOW that these three things
>>>are necessary and crucial for true development
>>>of the human body, mind and soul.

Yes, any foray into the unknown carries some risk–sort of
by definition of traveling into the unknown.

There are certainly some things that I think can be
done when doing qigong/meditation/alchemy explorations
that can help make the process safer, some of which you’ve
mentioned yourself. But that doesn’t necessary eliminate
the possibility of the unexpected . . . as you illustrated
with your sharings.

>>>My personal meditation trips were the worst experiences in my life.

I’m very sorry to hear that.

I can feel, though, that through the intense difficulties
of these experiences you’ve become a much stronger person,
and a beacon to help guide others.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Warm wishes,
Steven

Wendy,

Thanks for sharing your retrospective on these powerful experiences.

I recall that you were exposed to grounding practices prior to those two retreats that I witnessed your “immersion” in foreign energies. You related to me that you had difficulty absorbing or practicing them effectively.

To make a fine distinction here, I think the issue was not so much “grounding into the earth” as it was a BOUNDARY issue. You were totally porous, yin-absorbing whatever you encountered.

So some higher energies decided to take advantage of your openness. Which of course forced you to define who you were, and create some boundaries that were much bigger than your old boundaries by the time you finally got to settle comfortably into them.

Does that distinction make any sense to you?
m

ps. will be travelling next three days and possibly unable to reply. A wedding in Louisiana. Warm up for yours?

Yet I was not prepared for the amount of energy that ran through my body during the events, high voltage through wires that were hardly prepared for it (or maybe that was the whole purpose of it, who will say it, because i did NOT lose my mind, I worked it through for years after but I managed it, and made me much stronger and aware)
-GENERAL:2010-04-23, Wendy

Hands up, who wants to die…evil heat is running through me, through me…evil heat, baby, it consumes me…
-THE BIRTHDAY PARTY, Sonny’s Burning

Friedrich Bayer has discovered , among others, aspirin, heroin, prontosil, ciprofloxacin, levitra, polyurethane, polycarbonate, suramin, parathion, and propour.
-WIKIPEDIA on Friedrich Bayer, German pharmacist & businessman

I hope it’s still okey-dokey to make small comment what Wendy relates.

Or actually make a question for the present moment.

Wendy told about what she though being weakness in her wiring system. I have impression that musculoskeletal system being in excellent health or at least healthy enough, works very much for the wiring, both gross and subtle.

Surprise turning into fear, could probably also create problems.

Having backround in nursing, studying naturopathy, step-by-step absorbing many good things from different directions… and also integrating to one’s practice techniques from hatha yoga … it’s quite complicated, but I actually wanted to ask might it not be somehow possible that breathing is not enough worked out (!?).

In the sense of pranayama, I mean.

I understood, when pressure suit was mentioned, that it is a metaphor. Certain kind of chanting together with right kind of visualizations could help for the infested cognitive faculty.

But most important for immediate recovery, in my opinion is breathing. Not losing one’s mind, but turning it into right kind of vessel through becoming BABA NAM KEVALAM.

Se Helluhulluhuuhuu