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Tiredness gone.
Have problems with cold during the meditation. Lay down on the bed under a blanket to be able to continue with my practise.
Today I saw quite alot light in the head when the energy arised up there. Have noticed it before but now it was more distict and clear.
S D
Was eating dinner today with some friends. To cold at there home.
Did the scrotal compression under the blanket at lying down. Was hard to get the energy from the stomach to the scrotum.
S D
Increasing to 30 breaths
Some difficulties. Feelings of wanting to cry arrises. The thoratic vertebraes from the shoulderblades up to the c7 starts to make sounds.
The c7 hurts a litle bit after the practise.
S D
Cofe
porn
othersToday I was back on cofe. 3 cups. This is not at all wat I want. For the moment I understund why I did it. I am on my way to plan the next term as a teacher. Quite much to do. Started late. And I realise I soon will start my treatments with hormones so I feel a bit free to not be so hard to myself. This is something I soon want to change though.
Not feeling particularly well after having this cups of cofe. Quite tired.
S D
Just reading about Yi and Xin from the book “The root of chinese qigong”
Yi is the wisdom mind that creates ideas and have the will power to make them go true. Yi is from head.
Xin is the emotional mind that is also ideas but ideas made up by desires but that might lack the streangth to get the ideas into reality. Xin is from heart.
This is my own short translation from the book. So it looks that my intetions when not fulfiled is only from the xin when for instans I not manage to not drink cofe. Perhaps the retenion practise and the transformations from Jing to qi also streangthens the yin so that more of my wishes will be manifested.
This is the sort of descripitons of basic definitions that I have found in the book I refered to. This fits perfectly well to my need for the moment. The need to know some more taoist definition. I feel from reading Mantak Chias books and some other about acupuncture I still havent learned many of the basics in the alchemical taosim. This bookk feel in some of the things that is missing. Its good at give such defintion but is a bit boring to read so far beacase its a litle bit to much facts and a litle bit to litle substance or meat on the bones (Perhaps just a Swedish proverb.
Realy feel the need to perhaps study acupuncture some day.
S D
(to quote Bobby McFerrin’s song)
Seriously dude, you need to chill a little bit (pun intended).
You have too much worry, obsessive thinking, and personal demands.Note: Don’t start worrying about the fact that you worry too much 🙂
Just relax . . .
Curl up in a soft blanket, put on some soothing soft music or pure
silence, and just enjoy being in the moment, with no concerns about the past
or future. Do this for at least a half hour anytime worry or
obsessive thinking comes up. Follow it with some qigong or
quiet meditation if the mood strikes. Connect with Mother Earth
and feel it supporting you from below, feel it providing all
the stability and centering you need. Feel a sense of warmth
and love within. Allow yourself to feel loved. Let these
feelings and energy give you calm, security, and joy.Sending a smiling wave your way,
StevenSteven actually I am quite happy. I feel quite centered. I feel also much new self confidence. So don’t worry for me. The thing that not is good is that I have to struggle with an illness. I am wery sensitive to some things like cofe and cold and other things. So even though having a hard time with this I am most of the time happy. The thing is that the only possibility for me the last year to be better is to do or not do different things in my life. This has demanded me to do wery drastical changes in my life. It has demanded me to look into ewery aspect in my life to find things that helps me get better. This is of course sometimes an obsession. I have promised myself to either find a way to cure me fast or if not find it do so much so that I am in a constanly being better or at least ower a time. This things are the reasons for why I struggle. I have seens many years realised that I also have to do othet things. To get health is also to live. I have felt the joy of small new teritorial changes that I have been able to do again. This joy sometimes for things other people take for granted have learned me much. When making dessisions in my life I today always fisrt think does this afect my health if it does I choose mostly if it is possible the way that I believe afect my health for the better. And also I keep my other goals the things I want to do on longer term in my life unchanged even though some of them are impossible today. Then I also put up a plan for what to do next to try to become better. To not drink cofe was one of my goals now. I realy not like when I not fullfill it but I am not completely rigid either and realise sometimes I have to let myself free. But It makes me think a litle bit afterwards if I did the right thing. Some changes are realy dificult to do and I not want to not doing them beacase of some lazyness or other bad feeling. Of course this kind of strugles are afecting me. But I feel anyway that I do the right thing. When I was wery bad and tortured nearly ewery nigth and unable to do the smallest thing beacase of total fatigue, then I did much inner work. The torture was so bad that the pain out of it had me to think of suiside. I couldn’t nearly manage to be tortured by cold every night it did hurt me physically so much. From my inner work I found self confidence and a deep conviction. I new that I will do whatever the life demands of me to get rid of this illness, nothing can stop me I will continue untill I success. So when looking at my life and nowing I couldn’t do much right now, then I lay down and did inner work instead. Felt the optimism for my life and managed to at a deeper level be much stronger.
The sentence in my head was. I now I will do anything to became better so knowing this there is no reason for pessimism. Some day I will succed. And in the mean time I enjoy life the best I can.
So there is a wery stong will behind the things I write about. There is much focus and an inner conviction to continue. Sometimes there have been demands that have been quite difficult, and this have created a wery strong will in me. This willpower is the things that you might see as worry. It isn’t exactly that it is the will to live.
I smile back to you 🙂
S D
That may be the case, and I have no doubt you have strong will.
I don’t think anyone could reasonably say that you are not
determined.I was just responding based on the energy I’ve felt from
your posts. It felt like there was too much worry, obsession,
and self-critical judgements (i.e. earth and fire problems).I know you really like the sexual practices and all, but
do you think you might be going a little overboard with them?Too much water and the earth can’t absorb it all; you flood the
earth and lose your ground.Too much water and you’ll put out your heart fire. You need
fire also to heat the water and make steam, otherwise your
kidneys will freeze up. Since you have cold problems, I
really wouldn’t neglect the fire if I were you. Then bring
the fire down into the kidney region to heat it all up.I know you want to solve your illness, but I would recommend
balance!Sorry for the unsolicited advice . . . I just felt the urge
to post/respond based on the overall energy I was getting from
the large quantity of posts you’ve made on the practice page
recently . . . I was assuming you wanted feedback and alternative
viewpoints to challenge your view, or you wouldn’t have posted so
much recently. However, if I’m annoying or irritating you, I’ll
definitely be quiet. I mean, if you are more than happy with how
things are going, then who am I to suggest something different.Best,
StevenHello Steven
I’m not shore why I write all this right now. But I was thinking that perhaps someone see something I had missed or that my practise experience might interest someone else. And also perhaps I notice someting by writing here.
I have no problem with your posts! Enjoy talking with you! I was a bit irritated on you, but I don’t see it as a bad thing. Perhaps I felt you didn’t understund me and I thought I had to tell you about my strugles and my owerall situation. I don’t want you to stop writing to me, as long as you enjoy it self or believe it is good for me or somebody else.
Perhaps your feelings are right about my self critisism also. I don’t know for the moment but I will think about it and perhaps be wiser and return with more commets we’ll see. Or if I find the need for a change perhaps change myself.
You Steven wrote:
“”””Too much water and you’ll put out your heart fire. You need
fire also to heat the water and make steam, otherwise your
kidneys will freeze up.””””””What do you sugest for practises to get more fire. I’m not shore what to do or what you mean. Please if you have any sugestion.
Steven asked me:
“””””I know you really like the sexual practices and all, but
do you think you might be going a little overboard with them?Too much water and the earth can’t absorb it all; you flood the
earth and lose your ground.
“”””””””””Perhaps, but I do not feel like that is the case. But of course there is the possibility that I’m not aware of any bad things about the practise for the moment. I’m also experimenting a litle bit. According to Mantak Chia the Scrotal compression if done two times a day for a time period of two months might have an possitive effect to reduce fatigue and sleeping disorders. I want to see if this practise might have the possibility to help my major fatigue. And during this time of Scrotal compression it’s good not to loose energy by ejaculation. Also winter time is good if you want to reduce the amount of energy loosen by ejaculation. One reason why I write here is also that during the 100 days without ejaculation I usually have some strange dreams. This is a psychological interesting effect of the retention practise that I might want to understund more about.
But what you have written about fire and water are interesting and perhaps I have much more to learn here.
Thanks for your post!
Sincerely S D
Well I don’t think there’s anything wrong with doing the
sexual practices or even doing them regularly. It just
seemed like you were focused a little too excessively in
that direction.Sexual practices, while they affect the whole body and
all its systems, they are predominantly water (and some wood)
influences. I’d recommend a more balanced approach.Water puts out fire, so too much water is not necessarily
good. You need to have fire to balance it. You need
to have fire to heat the water and make steam.I don’t want to discourage you from doing the practices
you’re doing, but I’d just recommend not being overly
excessive with doing sexual practices, unless you do
a lot of other nonsexual practices to balance yourself.
I’ve heard some weird stories about people that went
a little too extreme with the sexual practices and
developed problems. Moderation is the key.I can post some of the few things I’ve learned about
getting more fire and fire-related things if you want.S
Fire practises:
Yes please that sounds interestning. Cant garante I will make any emidiately changes but will see.
S D
A good number of the techniques I’ll mention (despite appearance)
are actually quite powerful. Take it slow, and
like anything, it is possible to overdo it. Don’t.
Moderation in all things.Given your cold problem, and given the fact that you are
doing a lot of water practices (i.e. sexual stuff), I’d
highly recommend you try to incorporate some of these
things and/or at least play with them somewhat to see
if it helps. If you do, I’d be interested to know
what your experiences are.Aside: One last thing . . . one of the most powerful
forms I’ve come across for dealing/helping with
some chronic problems is the “Deep Healing Qigong”
form. I can’t say enough positive stuff about it.
The form was specifically designed to attack health
problems. I’d consider learning it and adding it
to your arsenal.Best,
StevenFire and heat are very important.
There are at least 4 major systems that deal with it:
the heart and the small intestine, the pericardium, and
the triple warmer that regulates the furnaces.
It’s useful to work with all of these.One thing important to note is that although the
heart is a great generator of fire, make sure that
the heat so generated does not build up there or
in your pericardium. Make sure to disperse the heat
to needed areas and release any that is stuck in your heart and
pericardium with the heart healing sound. Do the
dispersion practices *while* doing the accumulation practices
to avoid causing heart problems–that is, as you feel
the fire chi amplify in your heart region, stop momentarily to
disperse it before adding more.To add fire to your system (for accumulation):
1. Breathe internally red fire chi between your lower dantien
and your heart. Draw extra fire chi from the dantien. Use
your dantien as a source of vitality.2. Put a heating pad on your lower back near the beginning of
the fire channel. Concentrate on drawing fire chi from the heat
and pull it up your fire channel and add it to the
microcosmic orbit (make sure you have a complete loop to
the orbit, so it doesn’t stick in your head). Although
much trickier, light a candle and put the flame near the base
of your spine, and draw up the fire chi . . .3. Hit your right side by your ribs over your liver with your
hand (not too hard) to break up stagnant wood chi. Then while
doing the liver healing sound, direct the wood chi across your
pericardium line into your heart–adding logs to the fire.
If you have an excess of wood chi, there are other ways to
provide greater mobilization and increase your “firewood”, but
I’ll leave this as is for now.4. Once a day, eat hot spicy food (i.e. crushed red pepper)–although
not at night. Upon eating, draw the fire from the food through
your small intestine.5. Rub your hands together, warm them, and then direct this
into your last three fingers (middle, ring, pinky) and massage.
These contain the pericardium, triple warmer, and heart/small intestine
meridians.6. Do the Inner Smile and center it in your heart. Allow love, joy,
and self-acceptance to spill out and radiate from your heart and fill
your body.7. Buy four red candles, put them on the south side of a room.
Light them. Do the heart healing sound in front of them.
Draw in the fire energy.After doing any of these things, it is very important to disperse this
appropriately to prevent the heart or other organs from overheating.Here are some follow-ups (for dispersion):
1. Direct it to various locations in your body
by doing the heart healing sound–or, if need be, just
do the healing sound to release any trapped heat.2. Bring the extra fire chi from your heart down to the kidneys
and warm the water. Balance the extra heat in your heart
by bringing up the water from your kidneys to cool the heart.3. Evenly disperse the heat in your body, and bring the excess
downward by doing the triple warmer sound. Stress and too much
mental thought trap heat in the upper part of the body and head,
use the triple warmer to bring it down to the kidneys and down
to the feet.4. Rub your feet to warm them; use the warmth as a marker to
bring additional heat and fire chi from your upper body down to it, and
aid it with the triple warmer.5. Similar to #2, do the alchemical crane.
After completing these practices, it is useful to do a complete
creation cycle of healing sounds to balance everything and release
any heat that got trapped somewhere.Hope this helps,
StevenDreaming of having sex with two of my wery close friends from the past. Interupted by pepople beacase she were living in some kind of collective and they didn’t think it was alrigth to haw sex so that ewery other people in the room could see it.
Wery intense feelings of sexual energy and steam rising in the body. The channels up to the head seems more open than bafore, pehaps due to the intense exercises of testikle breathing I never have done before.
S D
Turned out quite bad this with the cofe. I couldn’t sleep and had to wake eaarly. New term quite much to plan and do. Had a nice start with my students anyway but completely exhasted afterwards. Yesterday I couldn’t manage to do anything. Was playing chess on the internet quite many hours. No practise. The reason why cofe is not god for me is beacase it damage my already weak adrenals. So no its time to go back to the routins not drinking it. For the moment the adrenals hurt quite alot also.
Chess playing on the internet could be described as an adiction also. For me. But I have realised it also have much positive efects. Its just playing and having fun. Somewhere I read that the reason why men like chess is that it is beacase it apeals to mens sexual energy. To build up an excitment and then have a realise, fits into bouth playing chess and men having sex. An odd experience I have had when playing alot is that it seems to stimulate my sexual energy and I have more morning erections than usual. This also happens when the first snow coming in the winter. This is just something I have noticed. Somebody see the connection betwean snow and sexual energy rising?
S D
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