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The whole comfort thing is what I was trying to get at with my polyamory discussions a while back but failed to communicate. The whole energetic of having your center still in the main boy/girl friend while going around getting sexual gratification from others, seemed to be a interesting way to transfer ones center around from one main boy/girl friend without getting to unbalanced. I thought polyamory was a outer tool for not being centered, just as much as a miserable co-dependent monogamist relationship, both often being unconscious ways to deal with not being centered, and an imbalance of yin yang aspects. Of course again this goes back to the limited box most find themselves in when trying to deal with these issues without magical/alchemical tools. This is my guess also to why this article is in the practice section. As the tools the lady suggested to fix the problem seems barbaric in comparison to the tools Wendy has, and has found success with.
I posted the article so that:
1. people who are more advanced than the troubled souls described within could feel good about themselves 🙂
2. the issue of “will” is central to every sexual relationship – power struggles erupt in even spiritually deeloped couples – its archetypal, beyond personal, although most experience it personally as well.
3. It a variant of a dynamic that occurs in Taoist couples (or half-Taoist couples) over whether the female gets the man’s seed, i.e. who controls the sexual football when they cross the goal zone. The cure for this of course is to shift to valuing the energetic exchange more than the fluid substances.
Glad to see it provoked Wendy into emerging from her bedroom lair to let the boys know wht is really going on.
m
>>people who are more advanced than the troubled souls described within could feel good about themselves :)<<
To have one's soul be untroubled is a wonderful ideal, but my point is simply that I feel more qualified than the writer of the article to address the issues of 'will' than people who have not even studied them at all. A great deal of effort has to go into something like this as we all know. I don't think the writer of the article, let alone her subjects, have any idea of the work involved, nor do they have any method of doing it, so I don't feel their point of view is relevant to me personally.
When there are spirits of water and venus all over the place just dying to teach humankind about the nature of erotic love, when out-of-body heart presence can be felt erotically, when giving is more important than getting, I think one can put away the groupmind issues which only occur in people who have not studied anything about themselves in the first place. You then see everything in a different light; this woman hasn't seen anything of this light so (whether I'm 'advanced' or not) her viewpoint doesn't mean anything to me. Naturally couples everywhere have these problems, very few seek spiritual solutions in any strong way.
I've never had 'endzone issues' anyhow, but shifting the value of sex towards the energetic exchange is something this woman has never heard of in her wildest dreams. For spiritual practitioners I believe it is better to seek spiritual solutions. j
… as a spiritual practitioner, when ‘problems arise’ for me it is not the same as ‘problems arising’ for someone who does not practice. A ‘problem’ is an invitation, a way of indicating potential harmony, something to transmute. If ‘will problems’ arise in a couple this is something more to find a creative spiritual and transmutational awareness of. A couple who practices will be used to that, it’s nothing new!
It is nothing IMHO to do with ‘women should submit’ or other such oversimplified RULES, which are made for people who DON’T DO SPIRITUAL WORK and are not normally developing themselves in any way at all or looking at themselves in any honest or realistic way. ‘Relationship issues’ are what non-practicing people face and they don’t relate them to anything ‘archetypal’ or energetic, so how can their views be relevant? They are far too tentative, fearful, and guilt-ridden in the first place.
The whole thing of ‘submit sexually or lose your husband’ is completely fear-based. Seeing a transmutational benefit in choosing to explore submissiveness or experiment with power dynamics in general, is simply adding to the practice of love and life and does not need to carry any fear. I don’t ‘have no problems’, but I see all as part of a wider system of lust, love, fear, beauty, a wider scheme of exploration rather than a way of ‘saving a marriage’, ‘getting what you want in bed’, or ‘spicing up the sex life’! I don’t claim any mastery but I do think I’m much more qualified to address these things in my life than that woman is. Her attitude is dull and unaware. Sex as a chore is like God as a chore! – most people do it, Fridays for the sex and Sundays for God, but I am interested in something a bit more real.
These things are sacred to me! I would be surprised, here of all places, to learn that I was alone in that. So I just say, they aren’t sacred to the author of the article, so I ignore her. j
I posted the article so that:
1. people who are more advanced than the troubled souls described within could feel good about themselves 🙂
2. the issue of “will” is central to every sexual relationship – power struggles erupt in even spiritually deeloped couples – its archetypal, beyond personal, although most experience it personally as well.
3. It a variant of a dynamic that occurs in Taoist couples (or half-Taoist couples) over whether the female gets the man’s seed, i.e. who controls the sexual football when they cross the goal zone. The cure for this of course is to shift to valuing the energetic exchange more than the fluid substances.
Glad to see it provoked Wendy into emerging from her bedroom lair to let the boys know wht is really going on.
m
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