[loes]

Hi Michael,

I’m a little late in responding to this item, but I haven’t been on this forum for some time.

I think the key to this question is anticipation

From my own experience I gather that when a woman is having a fulfilling sexlife she doesn’t need much foreplay as her body anticipates the coming action.
On the contrary when intercourse is less fullfilling you need more coaxing into it and
foreplay becomes more important.

This might explain the emphasis on foreplay by (american) sexuologists and could be relative to the short time invested in intercourse on avarage.

Loes

[loes]

Hi SD,

I have been practicing HT for the last three years.
But I have done many other things as well.

Four years ago I was still addicted to drugs, alcohol, anger, sugar, junkfood, work and a bad relationship and suffering from a burnout.

Once I started breaking that pattern I found that underneath was a very sensetive person. And since I was desperate to change I was open to new things. That was probably the reason the practice made such impact on me. It felt like coming home.

In the last four years I have been seeing a psychiatrist, an ADHD-coach, a mesologist, and a NEI-therapist.

I’ve changed my lifestyle, my diet, broke up my relationship, did some intensive therapy, I learned a lot about a lot of things.

In the last year I did some fusion and even some Kan and Li practice.

At the moment I am not doing any regular HT practice except for inner smile and some iron shirt. Last summer during a retreat I noticed I had a problem grounding due to trustissues regarding my mother.

At the same time my whole body started protesting against all the changes it had to make. I had been going way to fast (story of my life…)

So I decided to have a time out. Since I was to restless to stay at home and rest I had to go and do something else. Right now I work out at the gym three times a week.
That helps with the grounding. The kidneys love cycling. When I feel OK, I do some bellydancing and in between I walk the dog and sleep a lot. I volonteer as a teacher for a couple of hours a week.

I try not to spend to much time reading or behind the computer. It overheats my head and it gives me cold feet, which is no good for grounding.

How I deal with the emotions? When I am not to restless I sometimes do some fusion or some healing sounds.
For the rest I try not to identify myself to much with what I feel. Try to see it as emotional diarrhoea. Some emotions are easier to deal with then others. Guilt is a trickey one. I always ask myself where the emotion comes from and most of the time I get an answer one way or other. It can be something I see on TV that triggers a memory. Or a song pops up in my head wich sheds light on the issue. Sometimes there are memories from this or past lifes. Once you are open to receive answers you notice you are guided in more ways then one. It can be something somebody says in passing and then it goes click inside your head.

Regarding your question about male/female sexual energy I must admit there is no easy answer. Getting memories from past lifes, I usually get the highlights. So they are usually about extreem situations.

What struck me in the father/daughter situation was that when aroused I felt sort of diconnected like there was me and the penis as two different enteties and the penis was stronger then me. There was also a lot of anger connected to it. Anger about feeling so vulnerable. Anger I projected unto the daughter: It was all her fault for flirting with me. Weird! At the same time the daughter was really strong in the purety of her anger.

In an other extreem situation I was in a hospital. I was a soldier and my legs were shot off. My arms were in bandages and I couldn’t move them. But the worst part was that there was this really nice nurse walking around I had fallen in love with. Pure agony. Not being able to touch yourself and being sexually aroused so visibly. And the shame that came with it and at the same time the fear of not being man enough. It drove me nuts.

What struck me was that I experienced the sexual arousal as weakening and something I had no control over whatsoever and the frustration I felt as a result. This may have been due to the extreem situations. But still.

As a woman I can get weak in the knees around some men, but it doesn’t seem to conflict so much with my ego. Does that make sense?

Loes

[loes]

SD,

As you can imagine I had a burnout myself as a result of not being aware of my boundaries.

As far as the archetypical anger of women goes, I suppose I may not be a typical woman. Never had much problems with PMS either.
My anger was mostly focussed on other women (my mother and three older sisters were dominant in the household I grew up in) and I tended to side more with the men. I have been working in the company of men for twenty years and liked that very much. So I am quite used to looking at things from a male perspective.
It took me quite a while to learn to trust other women (and as a result the woman in me) and I have been noticing lately I still have issues with that.
Last year I did a lot of research about differences in male/female behaviour and it got me thinking about who holds the power anyway. In the long run I think women may be stronger then men. So who is surpressing who anyway?
I also have memories of former lifes as a man and it made me realise that a male ego is not an easy thing to live up to. I experienced utter powerlesness over my own sexdrive and in one life I raped my own daughter.
On the other hand, I have memories of a life in wich I was a powerfull woman, who planned wars and have men fighting them for her.

It got me thinking about great/smallness and the relativity of it.

Now who to be angry with?

Loes

(with a smile)

[loes]

In (very) short it is about forcefully aligning the energybody using crystals.
I had my first session last week and the effect was almost immediate.
After a short spell of feeling woozy, I felt more centered and grounded then ever.

I see your point about creating shadow when not done properly.
Thank you for your insight. I will have to do more research before considering to continue with this.

I had my doubts about the way it was done (with force) and the enormous effect it had.

Jon Whale talks about a shortcut to health and although I haven’t found any negative response to the treatment so far, I wander about the long term effect.

What attracted me to it in the first place was the use of crystals. I always had an affinity for stones and I think there may be ways of using their energy more effectively. This looks like a first step in that direction. Jon Whale also developed something called electronic lamp gem therapy.

More information can be found on various websites:

http://www.assemblagepointcentre.com/
http://www.assemblagepointshift.com/

[loes]

Hi Steven,

I may not know what it is like to be a man (at least not in this lifetime) but as a former addict I do know something about cravings. And in my experience wanting sex is one of them, comparable to wanting drugs, alcohol, junkfood, etc
Cravings are like little children: they want it and they want it NOW!
And when you don’t give it to them they’ll wine about it and they remind you about it at least every ten minutes (are you sure I can not have that icecream????).
As you found out cravings respond to triggers. In order to want the icecream, you have to see it first or see or hear something that is associated with the icecream eating. That’s what our whole economy is based upon.
So one stategy is to avoid the triggers as best as you can. That way the kids won’t trouble you so much. And as you experienced that helps a little.
But why do these children wine in the first place and what can you do about it?
Children have needs and the more these needs are neglected, the more they seek attention in negative ways. When children are fed wholesome tasty food made with loving attention they are less likely to crave icecream. Does that mean they never have any? Sure, but not every day, mayby just on special occasions. And when they do, they can have the real stuff, made with real cream and fresh fruit…
So you can say to your inner child: It’s OK to want this, but not now, now is not a convenient time, but tonight after dinner…

This is my strategy, maybe it works for you to.

I sometimes promise myself to have great sex at a certain time. I make a date with myself and make it really special. I put all the love, creativity and attention in it that I am capable of. And if I need a sexy partner, I imagine a sexy partner, or better still, I am that person. In my mind I can do anything I like. That way I fulfill my own needs as best as I can.

with love,

Loes

[loes]

Trying to recreate the experience of this morning I find it hard to do.
Probably thinking to much about it. Hard to keep a beginners mind.
I do think it has something to do with identifying with the figurine and I experience the rotation mostly in the solar plexis. Moving my hands with the motion helps.

Thinking about it, it may give an insight in how we see ourselves in others…

[loes]

Trying to recreate the sensation of this morning I find it very hard to do.
Probably thinking to much about it, since I tried analysing it at the same time.
Always hard to keep a beginners mind.
I do think it has something to do with identifying with the figurine and I feel the rotation most in the solarplexus. Moving my hands with the motion helped.

[loes]

This is fun!

At first I could only see her turning clockwise.
With some effort I could make her turn the other way, but only for short periods of time.
What helped for me was to close my eyes and visualise her turning the other way.
Then I realised that moving my own energy in one or the other direction made her move either way. After that I could easely make her turn in both directions, doing full turns and half turns. And since my neighbour is practicing his pianoplaying right now we created a little ballet.

[loes]

I can just imagine what this will do to all those little emperors who are used to getting their way, thinking they are gods…

How they will sublimate their frustration…

I hope this will bring the chinese government to take better care of girl foundlings, instead of selling them off to the US and Europe as if they are just an other export article.

[loes]

Is there only one way? I wonder… Aren’t all ways the same way anyway?

The way I see it at the moment, there is only my way. That is the way that works for me and suits my needs. It provides my self with the experience it needs to grow and progress. Listening to my needs is essential in that process. I need to do what I need to do.

Looking back upon this and past lives it seems my self needs all the experience life has to offer. So maybe it just must experience poverty, wealth, sickness, health, love, war, murder, rape, friendship, being a parent and being a child, being either man, woman or something in between… So many possibilities to explore!

And maybe that is our way to become a whole. By integrating all these experiences into one. Thus creating more oneness?

This point of view makes me reluctant to want to change other peoples lives and attitudes. What suits my needs does not have to suit others, because they need a different experience for their selves.

It also gives a whole new perspective on what is right and what is wrong.

For now I only know what is right and wrong for me and even about that I am not allways sure.

Any ideas?

[loes]

I personally like your name. And not just the Peter-Pan connection (friendy-wendy)
But Wendy also revers to changing direction, neverending cycles, rings, for ever changing and flexibility.
Not a bad name to have and from what I’ve seen from you, I think you live up to it.

I would have a problem with Ludwina: “friend of the people”, as I do not get along very well with the people-pleasing part of myself (yet?).

Having the right name is important though and sometimes I resent mine too. Loes is from Louis which means “brave warrior” and I’ve seen many a barricade in my life of which I am beginning to get sick and tired. But then I also tend to think that everything happens for a reason and that there are no mistakes. So this warrior part of me may come in handy one day. I would love to be a Sarah though!

I understand what you mean about not being wanted and I think giving a name should be a consious decision. I was lucky to be named by my brother , who died the year after I was born. My brother has always been my guide and for that reason alone I could not change my name.

Did you ever sorted out how your double name influenced you in terms of numerology?
It may give you some insight in how this “mistake” influences your life.

Loes

[loes]

I personally like your name. And not just the Peter-Pan connection (friendy-wendy)
But Wendy also revers to changing direction, neverending cycles, rings, for ever changing and flexibility.
Not a bad name to have and from what I’ve seen from you, I think you live up to it.

I would have a problem with Ludwina: “friend of the people”, as I do not get along very well with the people-pleasing part of myself (yet?).

Having the right name is important though and sometimes I resent mine too. Loes is from Louis wich means “brave warrior” and I’ve seen many a barricade in my life of which I am beginning to get sick and tired. But then I also tend to think that everything happens for a reason and that there are no mistakes. So this warrior part of me may come in handy one day. I would love to be a Sarah though!

I understand what you mean about not being wanted and I think giving a name should be a consious decision. I was lucky to be named by my brother , who died the year after I was born. My brother has always been my guide and for that reason alone I could not change my name.

Did you ever sorted out how your double name influenced you in terms of numerology?
It may give you some insight in how this “mistake” influences your life.

Loes

[loes]

my favourit game in any moving vehicle:

just close your eyes for a moment and focus

it is not you ( the car , the plane, the train…) that is moving

you are not going anywhwere, you stand still in time

it’s the earth that is moving underneath you that makes the landscape pass by

open your eyes and see if you can keep that idea

if it works, you feel better straight away.

Have fun!

[loes]

Yes Steven, you are right, it is time to go back to basics.
It feels like in the last three years I made a full turn and I have come back where I started. Not exactly the same though. My life has changed dramaticly is the past 3 years. This may very well be the beginning of a new cycle.

[loes]

Thank you both for your reaction. They both resonate with what is going on with me.

I suppose the brain wants to be reasured: am I mad or am I mad?
Talking about trust!

When I loose my ground, the mind takes over.

This idea of all mothers being connected just popped up and wouldn’t go away.
It’s funny how the brain seems to have trouble with that concept at first while it makes so much sense when you let it sink in. It’s so obvious that is seems almost silly not to have thought about it before.

I was just thinking how my relationship with my mother is a neverending source of grieve, anger, fear, love…. A neverending source…

The distrust seems to be eating at my roots

I see a mesologist on a regular basis. The technician in me likes the idea that energyflow can be mesured and that the fibration of the medication can be tested, to see if it resonates with mine. I do have medication to stengthen the spleen, but it always gets worse before it gets better.

Staying with the feeling is a tough one. My body knows many intricate ways to numb the pain. Addiction is it’s game. But I’m learning. I’m getting more and more tools to cope with what comes up. And the more tools I get, the more things seem to come up.

I wish I could take a break though. I do not seem to be able to stop this train.
Whatever I do or don’t do I am confronted with what is going on inside.

Remember to keep breathing. I like that one.

Thank you

Loes

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